When did you start calling your SO your "husband"?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Honestly, I can’t stand when people use husband/wife before they are married. It devalues it.

Post # 4
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Maybe I am just superstitious but I can’t call him my husband until we’re married.

Just like I would never wear my wedding band or tell people I am married yet.


Post # 5
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

After the wedding.  He wasn’t my husband until then.

Post # 6
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I won’t be calling him my husband until we’re officially married.  I’m not the biggest fan of the word “fiancé” either, which is why I use it sparingly and only with people I don’t know.  Otherwise I just use his name.  

Maybe you could call him your partner until you get married?

Post # 7
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I didn’t call him my husband until we were married!

If you don’t like FI, what about just using his name?

Post # 8
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m with you and occasionally use the word husband, but only to people I don’t know and will have no occasion to talk to again. I really don’t see the big deal. One of the reasons I want to get married is so that society will see us as a legitimate partnership. So sometime if just saying husband gets that level of our relationship across I do it. Granted I’ve only done this after we got engaged. 

Post # 9
7188 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Not until after our wedding. It’s stupid to call him that before you get married.

Post # 10
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

When I read the thread title I was like “…when I got married…?” but after reading I do know what you mean. Once or twice when I was talking with an employee of a restaurant or store I would say “husband” just to make the conversation quicker. Especially if it was a woman… I’m an introvert and I learned early on that “fiance” gets uninvited “ooooh when’s the big day!!” conversations when I just wanted to express that [some random man I came in with] is pulling the car around, haha.

I never liked saying fiance, or boyfriend for that matter. After approximately a year or two of dating I felt kind of childish saying boyfriend to my peers at work who were 30s-50s, even though that was the most accurate term for him at the time.

Post # 11
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I too hated saying “fiance”, mostly because they it would provoke the “oooh, when are you getting married?  What are you wedding colours?” and to be honest, when I was planning my wedding I got really sick of talking about it.

So when I started going to a new dentist a couple months before my wedding, I put “married” on my info form.  During my appointment the hygenist asked “What does your husband do?” and I was smirking to myself, and told her what he does.  Then a little while later, near the end of the appointment, she asked how long I’ve been married, and I felt so dumb saying “Well actually… we aren’t really married yet” and told her when the wedding was going to be.  And of course then she asked all the wedding planning questions I had tried to avoid, and I felt like a goof to boot!

After that I didn’t call him my husband until we were married.

Post # 12
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Calling him fiance sounded so pretentious to me at times, and we only called each othe husband and wife pre marriage to test it out on each other, lol.

I love calling him my husband now. :))))

Post # 13
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@iammcdibble:  +1!

Or when people call their SO parents or siblings by MIL, FIL, SIL, etc. when… they’re either still dating(!) or only engaged. They’re not you in-laws yet!!

Post # 14
6963 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Not until after the wedding.


Post # 15
4402 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

The thing is, he’s not your husband right now. Enjoy calling him your fiance — you may look back on this period wistfully some day (even if you think the word is annoying now!).

Post # 16
8483 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

After we were married

Sometimes I didn’t like using fiance just because I didn’t want to talk about the wedding with people, so I just used boyfriend or his name.

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