Post # 1
I have several nieces and nephews, and my friends are just starting to have kids now too. I’m 27, and other people’s babies still don’t interest me. I’ve never been the type to fawn over babies or get all mushy and really want to hold it or play with it.
Over the last year or so, I’ve been getting urges to get pregnant/have a baby on and off. But logically, I know I don’t want one yet. My man and I have agreed that we do wants kids eventually though, just not yet.
I’m just worried that I’m never fully going to want to have a baby, and if I do, am I going to be more interested in it than I am my friends/sisters’ babies? Did anyone else experience this, and then have their own baby and everything changed (you fell in love, and couldn’t have your life any other way?) or had a baby and regretted it?
Just feeling so confused and jealous of these girls who’ve always known they wanted to be a mom!
Post # 2
caligirl0011: My aunt told me that she never liked babies until she had her own, and then she obviously loved hers.
I’m kind of in the same place you are. I want a family, but I really don’t have any interest in fawning over other peoples’ babies. It makes sense though that it’s a completely different story when it’s YOUR baby. Purely biologically, your horomones cause you to form a bond immediately with your own child. I liken it to me not really liking other people’s dogs, but I love mine, because they’re mine.
Post # 3
I’ve always been interested in babies, I started babysitting my cousins all the time when I turned 16. I then starting working at the university daycare when I went to college, and now am the lead daycare teacher for the infant room while I finish my master’s and hope to work in the NICU when I’m done! Being a mom has always been my #1 priority and we are currently TTC. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have this strong urge all the time because it makes seeing everyone else’s babies really hard. I personally don’t know anyone who had a baby and regretted it or would ever admit to it. I know many people who weren’t trying and got pregnant (many in high school) and say they wouldn’t change a thing, so idk! Everyone is different! I wish my urge would have held off a bit, but once we have a baby I know I’d never want it any other way!
Post # 4
caligirl0011: I’ve always been pretty sure I wanted kids. Interestingly, I was MORE sure when I was younger (like teenage, early 20s) and LESS sure as I got older (I think because I loved my adult life without kids-traveling and skiing and having a blast). I started to want to have a baby more in my early 30s. My husband and I decided to start trying right before I turned 32. My baby boy is 3 months old now and I love him so, so much. Both me and my husband are totally delighted by him. I also love being a parent, but I do miss my non-kid lifestyle sometimes, we both do. However, I in NO way regret having my son and actually look forward to having another baby in a few years. Anyway, I am MORE interested in babies now- I love holding other people’s babies and talking about baby stuff. It’s like when I was pregnant, I noticed other preggos everywhere! Now I am way more interested in babies and baby stuff. I think it is pretty normal to feel like you probably want kids but not yet, or to feel amivalent about it. If you feel more into in the future, awesome. If not, you don’t HAVE to have kids. And yes, your own baby is different. My friend’s kids are cute and all, but I feel completely different about them than my own. When I see random kids in public I don’t, like, want to kidnap them and take them home and hug and kiss them and love them.
Post # 5
caligirl0011: I didn’t start wanting a baby until a few days ago actually, but I have no interest in other people’s babies. I probably won’t have one for medical reasons anyway. It’s just the fact that I’m 30 has gotten me thinking I don’t have much time left to change my mind.
Post # 6
I’m like you OP….never really cared for babies/kids and never had a strong urge to have them. I’m 31 now and my DH and I are about to start TTC. I’m terrified. But, I do look at babies differently now and I can even say the last time a coworker brought in her twins (3 mo old girls) I felt a little twinge in my belly. So I think I’m finally ready. I know that in the end, I would be sad if I never had a child at all, so I know I am making the right decision. I also know that once it happens, I will be a great mom and I will love my child unconditionally!
That urge may never come but if you decide its right for you to have a child, I’m sure you will be a fantastic mom and totally fall in love with your child! I’m sure there are mothers out there who regret having children, hopefully few and far between, but I don’t think you will ever know who they are.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
I think about this a lot, actually. I have baby fever, DH wants to hold off for a couple of years. I am 30, and I have never had any interest in other people’s babies at all. I know I come off as cold to my friends who have kids or who go crazy for them. I know I will adore my own, though!
Post # 8
caligirl0011: I’ve always wanted a baby, when I was younger I was convinced that I would be married and done having kids by 25. Now I’m 26 and we’ve made plans to TTC when I’m 27 and H will be 31. While we’re both emotionally ready for a baby, we would like to become more financially stable first.
Don’t be afraid, when you have your baby you will love it, and baby things will become more interesting to you.
Post # 9
I’m a few years younger than you, and I actually thought I would never want kids. Then I had a job at an after school program for kids K-2nd. Kids kinda grew on me. Then my youngest BIL had a baby with his wife this Jan. He’s the cutest. When DH and met him, it solidified our TTC plan. I still dont really like other people’s babies. I know I’ll love my children, but for now I don’t really want to experience other people’s kids. It’s totally different to parent your own kids than to hold or babysit someone elses.
Post # 10
I always thought I would be a badass single lady for the rest of my life, but then I met FI. Having a good guy makes me want to have kids, but that’s not going to happen for a few years because 1. we’re not married yet and 2. I’m a career girl at baseline.
Post # 11
I adore other people’s babies and kids… and yet I don’t want my own? Lol nobody seems to understand that. When I get all mushy at a baby they say, “aww do you have baby fever?!”
I don’t at all! Kids are just adorable but… they’re also a huge responsibility.
Post # 12
I actually used to want to be a mom, now I’m not so sure. I was adamant that having a child was something I needed to be happy. Turns out I was following the lifescript and hadn’t really considered the day to day drudgery that comes with parenthood and whether it was something I really wanted or something I thought I wanted because it’s what people do.
I think babies and kids are pretty darn cute, but I don’t think I want one of my own.
There are plenty of happy parents who have little to no interest in other peoples’ children.
And I also believe that there are plenty of unhappy parents who would never admit their regret.
Post # 13
What’s really funny is that way too often we hear things like “I don’t like babies, I like it when they’re older and we can DO stuff”. I’m totally the opposite. I seriously cannot resist a baby!!! I would pick up stranger’s babies if it wasn’t weird…lol. I actually find I have a lot less patience for older kids – but a lot of that has to do with bad parenting (which I encounter a lot in my job).
I have major baby fever. I’ve always wanted kids!
Post # 14
caligirl0011: I’ve also always known. I’ve always liked babies and enjoyed playing with them, being around them, etc. It’s only been in the last couple of years (I’m 32) that I feel the strong desire to have my own soon. Before this I was happy to play with them and hand them back and went about my day without another thought. Now when I’m around one I think about my FI and our future children for ages after I’ve given the baby back to mom.
My cousin is gaga for her neice. I love the kid (she’s my cousin’s daughter) but I don’t have nearly the same connection that my cousin (the kid’s aunt) has with her. I would think I’d feel more like she does when my own sister has kids.
Post # 15
caligirl0011: I’ve always known I wanted to be a mother. However, I used to like other people’s babies a lot more than I do now. The past few years i just don’t feel the need to fawn over someone’s baby. Every once in awhile I’ll get the urge to hold a baby, but I don’t flock to them like I used to. The baby feelings really started to hit me after our wedding last December. I’ll be 26 in December and we’ll start trying next July. I never wanted to be a super young mom, but have always thought I’d like to have my first in my late twenties. Hopefully things go well when we start trying!