Post # 1
I have always been pretty neutral about children, they’re cute and so sweet but I’ve never been a person that couldn’t wait to have kids. Just recently I was thinking for no particular reason…I really don’t want kids. I tried to imagine my future, everyone says you will want them when you’re older and I really cannot see my mind changing.
I talked to my fiance about this and he feels the same way. Kids are great, but I am so content with our life right now I really can’t see kids fitting in…now or ever. I think our jobs and our dogs are enough of a handful as it.
Everyone says it’s just a phase I’m going through but I really don’t think so. I legitimately cannot see us having children.
Did alot of you feel this way, and one day your mind changed? If so, when? Or where children just not in the cards for you?
Post # 3
@Merinda1994: Power to you! 🙂 My best friend is the same! She loves my son, but is content without having children. A lot of people tell her she will want them and she’s being silly, but having children is definitely NOT for everyone.
As for me, I always wanted children. But I am more than content with my 4 month old for a while…hopefully 4-5 years 🙂
Post # 4
@Merinda1994: I have felt that way since I was 12. Nearly 40 and the must have children or what is commonly called baby rabies has never hit.
There is nothing wrong with choosing not to have children and it is commonly termed childfree by choice (CBC). there are a number of threads on here about it.
Unfortunately if you do choose not to have kids you will be in for a life time (well at least until you get too old for kids by societal standards) of people telling you that you will change your mind, judging you, basically calling you not a women and media/entertainment industries marketing that you should be a mother.
Classic example, 3 days after I got married I got an email from the knot’s sister site the bump asking me to join now that I was married. Amazing!
Post # 5
@Merinda1994: It’s hard to say… I’ve always wanted a child. But I’m not in any rush to start popping out babies though. I want to enjoy being married for a couple of years first.
If you don’t want kids, don’t have them. It’s perfectly fine.
Post # 6
I’ve never wanted a child. However, people around me make it seem like I’m selfish with my money or I’ll “outgrow” how I feel. When? I’m 29 and have ZERO desire for a baby, toddler, child, or whatever. The thought makes me cringe. I do get nervous sometime because I know I’m at an age where most of my peers have a child(ren) or want one. I guess I just dont want to turn 45-50 and regret it.
Post # 7
I know many women/couples who never want children. Women go through hormonal changes in their late 30s/40s (some get baby rabies), and some end up having kids because of this. Some women are happy with that decision, despite never having wanted kids until that point.. but others realize once the baby’s born and they get through that stage that they never really wanted a baby and it was all hormonal. Which would be a difficult position to be in.
Some people genuinely do change their mind. Others stick to their guns and remain child free. The cool thing about your life is doing what you want with it.
There is a social stigma, like a PP said, against women and couples who don’t want kids. They can be considered selfish, immature, and less fulfilled by jerks who have a narrow mindset. I mean, how could someone POSSIBLY be happy without kids?! Please note the sarcasm.
Personally, I’m not sure if FI and I will have kids. We’re certainly not ready for children anytime soon. We’re 22 and 21, enjoy our free time, and like to spend what little money we do have on things some would call frivolous. I do love kids, and am a proud auntie to a few little ones.. and I’m good with that for now.
If/when we do decide to have kids, it’ll be after some long, hard thought. Will I want to travel or take vacations in the years right after having a baby? What will happen if our baby is born with a serious illness or disability? There’s also the issue of the alarming number of kids in foster homes who need loving families. I could just as easily love a child I adopted, whose birth parents couldn’t/wouldn’t provide a good environment, as a child I gave birth to. And don’t even get me started on the exponential growth of the human population and the earth’s rapidly-diminishing resources.
Anyway, sorry for the novel I just posted. Just play it by ear and do what makes you happy. It’s okay to have kids, and it’s okay not to have kids. Do what you do. =)
Post # 8
@Merinda1994: I always wanted kids in my mid-20s so I’d be younger as they grew up. FI is up for kids right now if I wanted to so.. yea! We will see when it happens!
Post # 9
@danibelle: Totally agree with you! I’m only 20 so everyone just brushes it off like I’m kidding or it’s a phase but I’m pretty sure it’s not. We just honestly feel happy without them.
Post # 10
@Merinda1994: Good for you for being open to figuring out what’s right for you, rather than what everyone thinks you should do. For me, I’ve always wanted to be a mom (seriously, I think pretty much since I understood the whole idea of having babies), and I started really feeling the “urge” a little over a year ago (around 25-26). But I think that just as much as I have always had a strong desire to be a mother, there are other women who never have that feeling, and that’s fine! I’m glad you and your FI are on the same page 🙂
Post # 11
I felt the urge from about age 18 to 27. Then somewhere around age 27/28 I realised my life is pretty gosh darn exciting, and I LOVE the way things are. I don’t really want things to change, so I want kids less now than before…. I can’t really think of any good reasons to have kids, and a million reasons not to.
Post # 12
I never wanted children when I was young. I had been raised to believe that the moment I had children, I had to give up my career and spent full-time with them, and there was no way I could have done that. I agreed to have them only after my then boyfriend said he really wanted them, and was willing to have a full-time nanny for them.
At this point, I’m very glad I had them. But my first marriage fell apart in part due to conflicts over raising a child with special needs. So I think it is really important to think carefully about whether you really want children, rather than just blindly assuming it has to be the next stage in life.
Post # 13
I’ve always wanted them, but since I got married my baby fever has intensified!
Post # 14
I’ve always wanted them but it’s like ever since I got married, all I’ve wanted is a baby haha.
Post # 15
When people asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up when i was 2 years old, id tell them i wanted to be a mommy. I have ALWAYS known i wanred kids one day. I actually got the bug to start having them when i was 19 after an accidental pregnancy that ended in a loss. I guess being pregnant unsuccessfully solidified my desire. I was only 19 though so its good i waited a bit. I am pregnant now and will be 25 a month after my daughter is born.
Post # 16
I’ve wanted to be a Mama for many years, but never felt that I could until I met my husband. After being together around 6 months I knew I wanted kids with him but not until we were married and have a house to call our own. Well both of those things have happend and were still waiting! But I’m having MAJOR baby fever atm!
My hubby however told me he wanted munchkins from our first date. Literally on the first date.