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When did your parents meet your FILs? And how did it go?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: When did your parents and your FILs meet for the first time?
    While you were dating : (40 votes)
    55 %
    Once you got engaged : (28 votes)
    38 %
    At the wedding : (5 votes)
    7 %
  •  
    1.
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    Worker bee
    celery    October 2009   Vancouver

    Both sets of parents will not be meeting until the rehearsal dinner (3 weeks away!). FI and I have been together for 4 years, but since his parents are an 8 hour drive away, our parents have never met. I'm actually quite nervous about it since both sets are completely opposite of each other. I'm just wondering how did it go with you and whether both sets have a good relationship with one another. 

     
    2.
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    Bumble bee
    Brianalaura    August 14, 2010   Ontario, Canada

    I picked engaged because my parents hadn't met all of his parents/stepparents until our engagement party, but my mom had briefly met a couple of them before.  It actually went well, they are mostly opposites but they got along really well.  The thing is, if they haven't even met yet and live 8 hours away, chances are they probably won't be seeing each other too much even after you're married except maybe some holidays, right?  So even if they don't get along, it should be ok.  Don't stress!

     
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    Worker bee
    KaiLunKat    9-11-2010   Chicago

    Well to be honest, his parents and my parents don't get along at all.  That's mostly because my stepfather was incredibly rude, mean spirited and generally awful to all of us when they met because...well I guess because thats just how he is.  Ugh.  

    But I have to say - I think that for a wedding - both sets of parents will be so excited that it should work out well.  They will probably feel like they have something in common and I would think that the happy festive atmosphere could only help things.  

    Good luck! I think things will work out great. 

     
    4.
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    Bee Keeper
    eloping    May 23, 2010  

    i ticked once we got engaged but we dated/decided to get married pretty quick

    and the meeting wasnt the best... my mother walked away saying his family was cheap and rude while his father decided to butcher the italian language when speaking to my mother (who speaks perfect english btw and his family is greek)

    they arrived early and everyone (his parents & brothers) ordered their meals and was nearly finished eating by the time we (inc my FI) got seated then his parents tried to get everyone to pay their share of the bill while my FI was trying to just pay the bill in full without any contributions.

    it wasnt the best... they dont hate eachother but my mother thinks they are a bit low brow and although it pains me greatly to agree with my mother - in social situations his parents are very clueless on alot of things although they are lovely people

    btw, i once invited them over for a lamb roast sunday lunch (and i HATE HATE HATE lamb).... they went to the RSL and ate lunch before they came over so goes to show how totally clueless his family is

    i have asked hubby a few times if he is really related to these people because he is so different from the rest of them.

     
    5.
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    Helper bee
    jspeby    July 17, 2011   new york

    They met once we got engaged but thats because my FIL's live in NY and my parents live in SC. It was rare if all of us were in the same state at the same time.

    The parents met once so far and it seemed to go well. I think I was more nervous than they were. I wish we all lived closer to strengthen the bond.

     
    6.
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    Bumble bee
    AnamCara    April 10, 2010   Ireland/Connecticut

    I live in Ireland and I'm from Connecticut so we'd been together less than a year when my parents came to visit.  FI and I were already pretty serious and I'd had the chance to spend quite a bit of time with his parents by then so I wanted his parents to meet mine.  FI was a little freaked out because he thought it was too soon/too big of a deal but I didn't think it would be a big problem - my parents are friendly and easy going and so are his.  I thought they would just have a chance for a normal social visit and that's what it was.  It was almost like FI and I weren't even there - our parents just chatted away about all sorts of things and it was really nice.  No mention of us or our relationship or if wedding bells were in the future. 

    So for us it worked out really well but I think it either set of parents had issues with our relationship or if either set didn't like their son/daughter's choice of SO it would have been more difficult.  Luckily his parents like me and my parents like him and we each like each other's parents.  That and we're in our 30's so our parents have seen how our decisions have worked out in the past and they trust us (together and separately).

    Good luck with your parents meeting - I am sure in the fun and excitement of the wedding it will be great!

     
    7.
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    Newbee
    pinktimbs      

    My mom met my FIL about a month after we got engaged. It went really well. My fiance and I are both military brats, and one of the reasons why I love his family is because they remind me of my own (before my dad died in '04). I was hoping it would go really well and our parents would all get along and they definitely seemed to. They've gotten together for cookouts a couple of times since then and it seems like it's going well go far. :)

     
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    Busy bee
    DaisyBride    June 1, 2009  

    Our parents met about a year after we started dating.  We all went out to lunch after our college graduation.  The first meeting went well, everyone chatted and got along.  Since then everything has been great with our parents, they don't see each other very often, but when they do, everything is fine.

    Our parents are really different from each other.  Mine own a Pub and his don't drink, LOL.  My parents can't get through a tv show without falling asleep and his parents follow a lot of shows. 

     
    9.
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    Bee Keeper
    scissors    June 19, 2010   Atlanta, Ga

    They met once we were engaged. We were engaged exactly a year after we met, and the parents met 25 days later, so it's not like it was a crazy long time. :) It went really well.

     
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    Bee Keeper
    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    our parents actually knew eachother before me and my fi did, years ago through our temple. they haven't seen each other in years, so when we started getting serious we finally decided it was time for them to get together and it was fun for them to meet up again.

     
    11.
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    Busy bee
    lamb      

    The parents are all meeting this weekend at my wedding shower!  I'm a ball of nerves!

     
    12.
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    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    DesignerBee    05.22.10   Virgnia

    MY FMIL is SUPER social and insisted on meeting my parents while we were still dating. My dad was like, no ring, what's the point? So I'd say with my FMIL being a little loud and obnoxious and my dad being somewhat standoffish around strangers it went ok. I doubt those two like each other too much so far but they don't actively dislike each other either. She is just confused by his general lack of social skills and he is annoyed by her insisting on being the loud center of attention. My mom and FFIL are both great and perfectly happy all the time though so it all works out ok.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    texasmeredith    July 2010  

    I checked dating, but that isn't exactly true.  My parents met FI's Mom while we were dating.  They haven't met his Dad yet, but will very soon (his parents are divorced).  Things went fine with his Mom.  His Dad is very eccentric and I'm a little more worried about that one.  

     
    14.
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    Blushing bee
    DesignerBee    05.22.10   Virgnia

    Also now that we are engaged dad is way more friendly. He is just a little overprotective.

     
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    Busy bee
    Pelikila    August 30, 2008   Houston, TX

    His parents met my dad when we were still dating and they get along very well.  My mom didn't meet his parents until we were engaged and I'll just say the mothers don't get along very well.

     
    16.
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    Honey bee
    AnnieAAA    October 25, 2009   Dallas, TX

    My parents met my FILs after we were engaged, we weren't there, which made me nervous, the meeting went well, except for my FFIL getting "offended" when my mom suggested that they can help set up decorations for the wedding, apparently my mom thinking that the grooms parents would want to help decorate, in his opinion, was rude!! WOW!

    A few days after their first meeting, FFIL called my parents to very rudely say to them " I don't understand why arn't you arn't paying for the wedding!" He also called to inform them that "the bride's family pays for the wedding & thats how things work!" Um HELLO! Times change and there are many couples that pay for their own wedding OR the grooms family may even pitch in, who would of thunk it!?!  

     
    17.
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    Helper bee
    di5308    January 1, 2000  

    We got engaged in December. My father and step mom came out in August to look at a house with us, and they met Fi's mom then. It went pretty well. FI's mom can be a little high strung, but she has a HUGE heart and was concerned at us looking at a 150k house when she and FFIL spent 30k building their house 30 years ago. So she was a little strung out. We had lunch afterwards, which went pretty well. When I went home (3 hrs away) later, my parents said that she "must wear the pants in the marriage" and that she was high strung and over bearing. I took it with a grain of salt, knowing that FI's mom is just the type of person who *never* sits down or stops moving. They have a dairy farm, and it's constant on the go to keep things running.

    My mom is coming out to look at the venue next weekend and will probably meet FI's mom then, since she'll probably go with us. I'm more concerned about my mom and FI's mom meeting, since my mom in an alcoholic and I've talked to FI's mom about it quite a bit. (she's really like a mom to me). My biggest fear is FI's family meeting my mom's bf, a loud, crude, obnoxious, pushy drunk. Thankfully he'll only be around for the wedding, and *finger crossed* there won't be any issues.

     
    18.
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    Worker bee
    celery    October 2009   Vancouver

    Thanks for the responses ladies! Its great to hear all types of stories. Hopefully the meeting will go well, we'll see how it goes!

     

     
    19.
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    Bee Keeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Well, seeing as how our families live 5 hours apart, we decided to get everyone together at our engagement party. They came in town for labor day, we bbq'd some burgers, and we threw my parents, his mom, grandparents, and sister and her family, and our friends together and poured some sangria. They've only met since at the wedding. It's not real feasible with the distance. I mean, if my parents are coming in town to see me, i'm not going to get everyone together just for that purpose.

    We'd been together 3.5 years by the time we got engaged and they met =]

    Eloping, my parents can be very "high brow" also, and they really act like it. It's kind of embarassing to watch them flaunt and fluff in front of other people. I want a big sign that says "i'm not like that!!!!" and yet, my parents can be so cheap it's embarassing, like handing us the ticket to a lunch after paying for everybody...but my husband and i! Weird, considering we were paying for them to come to our house that weekend, paid for their meals at the wedding, and got a hotel so *they* wouldn't to on our wedding night. People perturbe me

     
    20.
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    Buzzing bee
    arizonabride    June 2, 2010   Tucson, AZ

    When my parents met FI's Mom and her boyfriend we weren't even there, so it was really nerve wracking for us. I think it went okay except that there was a misunderstanding over the dinner bill and then one snyde remark was made by FI's Mom's BF and my Dad of couse was a wise-a** back. They get along fairly well now, but will never be buds.

    When FI's Dad & Step-Mom met my parents. Oi vay! Too much drinking took place (by my parents backyard pool) and first there was the whole politics thing (they were major Bush supporters and my parents NOT, even though they are conservative). Seriously, aren't they old enough to know not to talk politics? Then, I'm embarassed to say, my FI's Dad had too much to drink and, at one point, asked my Mom to sit in his lap! With his wife sitting right next to him! WTF? I thought it was a disaster but everyone else seems to have moved on. It felt like we were on a bad reality show a couple of times!

    I told my friend that if anyone misbehaves at this wedding, it will be the parents and not any of us:-)

     
    21.
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    Busy bee
    ZoeKat    July 2010  

    Our parents met on the day we were moving into our apartment together. It went well though despite the potential for awkwardness! That was four years ago and they get along famously.

     
    22.
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    Bee Keeper
    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    My parents are meeting my boyfriends parents in 2 weeks! They're meeting on the 17th and we'll have been dating for a year on the 22nd. I'm pretty nervous since my parents are pretty social and talk alot and his... don't. Moms will be fine cause they are both funny, but once talk turns to business, the Dads might have some conflict... my dad has an interest in luxury real estate and his dad is a real estate lawyer, but their viewpoints are totally different. Politically, my parents are conservative and his are liberal. Ooooh it'll be so interesting!

     
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    Busy bee
    Mrs. Dee to Bee    January 30, 2010   Louisville, KY (Wedding in TX)

    UGH. Awkward. My parents are still married and his parent's divorced a few years ago. His Dad and My dad became BFFs right on the spot. I even call my FFIL "Uncle Dad" because he's like my dad's long lost brother! My FMIL is another story. The acronym should be shortened to FML. She is totally passive aggressive and weird. She ended up bursting into tears at our engagement party because she thought that we would never visit her after we're married because we've got a tight relationship with my parents. Get this, she's a frickin' therapist!

     
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    Busy bee
    SoonToBeMrs.Kiss    June 11, 2011   Central Pennsylvania

    My parents met my FIL's when I was 10, haha.

    When I was 10 my family moved from N.Y. to PA and FI and his family were our next door neighbors. FI was 12 at the time, and FI and I started dating when I was 19, and him 21. I am 22 now, and he is 24, and we just got engaged this past August. I will be 23 and him 25 when we are married.

     
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    Bumble bee
    JewishBride    June 13, 2010   Michigan

    wow. yeah, our parents do not get along. i have no idea how it's going to go on the day of the wedding. hopefully they'll be cordial and decent!

     
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    Buzzing bee
    skibobrown    July 31, 2010   CA (wedding in Bar Harbor, ME)

    My parents met FI's mom a couple of months after we got engaged.  It went well... We went out to dinner, and there was a really awkward moment with the check, but other than that everything went great.  The check issue was cleared up after the fact. 

    My parents still haven't met FI's dad (his parents are divorced).  We've totally been putting that one off b/c we think it's going to be a pretty awkward encounter.  My parents and his dad have little to nothing in common, and FI's dad has the tendancy to ramble on about whatever is on his mind, whether or not it makes good conversation.  Eek!  We're going to need to bite the bullet soon, and have them meet each other anyways.

     
    27.
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    Helper bee
    guffee    June 26, 2010  

    we've been together since 2004 and got married last year at the courthouse. we're finally having our big wedding next year. ive met his parents and hes met mine but our parents have yet to meet each other.

     
    28.
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    Bee Keeper
    cardigan    January 7, 2011   Austin, TX

    Our families met shortly after we started dating, but it's kind of a different situation than most - we started dating in high school and our families lived about 5 minutes apart...when we were still in HS our parents are still pretty involved in our lives, haha.

     
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    msbuttons    May 30, 2010   Palm Harbor, FL

    Our parents didn't meet until after the engagement...to me it felt SUPER awkward...but my parents thought it went very well! I guess that is all I could have hoped for!

     
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    Bumble bee
    AzinAugust    August 2010   Sedona, AZ

    My father met the FILs while we were dating, about 2 months before we got engaged. Crazy mother however will not meet the FILs until this Christmas (about 9 months before the wedding) OR at the actual rehearsal dinner itself. This is mainly because (as aforementioned) mother is crazy! :)

    Good luck!

     
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    Bumble bee
    iswimibikeirun    May 15, 2010   Houston

    Ours met at Thanksgiving last year . . . we got engaged in April, but had been together for quite a while.  I'd met his and he'd met mine during the first year.

     
    32.
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    385 posts
    Helper bee
    quirkyparsnip    October 1, 2011   Texas

    They met at our graduation from college. Only time they were both in the same place at the same time. It was really awkward though because they are Vietnamese and don't speak English very well. Also his mom got upset that my dad paid for lunch for everyone at the restaurant afterwards, I guess she got over it though. 

     

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