Post # 1
Sorry for the mini vent. I am feeling so fustrated, dissapointed, hurt, so many feelings that i cant even express. My dh and I have been together for almost 15 years, we had a court wedding in 2008, just two witnesess and us. That they after we came out from city hall we got hit by a truck, obviously no celebration. NADA.
We are “Trying” to have a vow renewal, nothing to expense, everything is being paid by us, and we are not expecting gifts. We just want to have a beautiful religious ceremony and reception with all of our family and friends. The problem is that every time that we are in the planning mode, somethings happens, death, money some many things. There is always something. I get also some commends from some people of our family that why we want a party, if we are alredy married, we just want to make one of our dreams true, we’re not asking from anyones money. We have been though though so many things together, most things(mostly terrible) that what one person can go though in a lifetime. I know marriage is for the good and worse, BUT we have been though all the worse, just want to have a happy moment.
I dont know if I should forget the planning, forget the renewal and move on, and accept that our dream will never happen. I am just tired of postponing and hoping for the better, but the better never comes…
Post # 3
uh-oh. Someone once told you there is a perfect world with perfect people who have perfect lifes. I know you know that is not true. You be a smart cookie.
JUST DO IT. Theres a reason why a whole marketing campaign was successfully based on those three words 🙂
So get the whine and cheese out, and start planning. If something goes awry, ADAPT. The human species have been doing it for centuries, so adapt on and have a happy wedding! ((hugs!)) and good luck! xoxo
Post # 4
Wow you guys have certainly been through a lot! You deserve to celebrate – I for one LOVE celebration. I’m throwing a second wedding reception as well as my wedidng was intimate. Ignore the naysayers! In fact they don’t have to come, why are they getting their panties up in a bunch? If anyone decides to snark, just smile and nod and say, “Well, we’re so happy to be alive, I think it’s cause for celebration!”
Post # 5
Have fun with the wedding planning. If anyone feels like they need to talk negative stuff about it or doesn’t understand, well they’re welcome to stay away from the happy event!
Post # 6
@brokeninnj: When I read your wedding day story all I could think was ‘Wow.’ I think so many couples would have just given up and walked away (or as near as couild walk after getting hit by a truck). Dude you guys totally deserve to do whatever party/ceremony/etc you want at this point! Congrats and can’t wait to see the pics!
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Yep. You can do it, but you have to let go of all the crap from the past and not do the sort of math that doesn’t get you anywhere, as in (previous bad even) + (recent bad attitudes and other crappy stuff) = Impossibility of Dream.
Of course you can get to the BETTER part. But you have to let go of the past and ignore the people who don’t get it. Have your celebration. You deserve it!
Post # 8
Well, my opinion may not be popular, but I believe that when you decide to get married at the courthouse, you give up the right to have all the pomp and circumstance that normally comes with a more traditional wedding.
If you want to have a party, that’s fine, but I think if you want to re-create a wedding 15 years later, I’d probably raise my eyebrow at that. From the sound of your post – correct me if I’m wrong – you feel like you missed out back then and want something now to make up for it.
I also don’t get vow renewals. It’s a “vow” – why do you have to say them again? Why can’t you call it an anniversary party?
Post # 9
you know you just might need to hear what im about to say: FORGET EVERYONE ELSE AND THEIR OPINIONS! especially if they arent contributing.
But here’s a question for you… will it still be special without your family attending? becuase there is always the option of a destination vow renewal, that way the people who really want to be there will and the ones who dont, well they will complain that you had it abroad even though they didnt want to come in the first place. plus you would get a honeymoon out of it and what better way to celebrate 15 years and relax?
I say do what you and your DH wants! Its shouldnt be for anyone else to say but you and him!
I hope everything works out!!!!
Post # 10
I think it’s a waste of time and money and emotional energy, and you ought to let it go. If you want to do something special with your husband, go on a vacation. Call it a delayed honeymoon, if you want. Even book a honeymoon suite so you have the whole experience. Don’t do a do-over wedding or vow renewal.
Post # 11
@brokeninnj: I think you should do whatever you want!
if I were you though, I would buy a lovely dress, head to the Maldives and renew my vows on the beach with just my husband, and stay in one of those kick ass overwater bungalows! If people wanna poop on your party, go party by yourself and spend your money on things that you will enjoy, rather than feeding people who are criticizing you!
Just my two cents 🙂
Post # 12
@MsW-to-MrsM: hahaa, we think alike.
Post # 13
@ButterflyButterfly: marriage is all about the paper – not the party. The reception, the ceremony etc. that has all been drummed up by capitalism. Do you know that there are time periods within certain centuries that would be APPALLED at what you would call “traditional” – in fact they would even use the word “vulgar” to describe what you are describing as a “traditional” wedding. “Traditional” marriages have changed to reflect the culture. Its not stagnant. So who are we to judge what is right and wrong when it comes to a celebration? The culture has changed, therefore the traditions have changed. Let them let their loved ones dote on them for a day. They signed the paper, now they get the celebration that they didnt have in the first place, as they deserve to celebrate and be celebrated.
Post # 14
@FutureMrsT1221: I think you two must live in a winter zone where it snows in november and you dont see the ground until april 🙂
I like the idea of a vacay everyday – but i think the op would like a wedding celebration lol xoxo
Post # 15
@montanamum: so funny you say that! I live right in the heart of the south but we’ve been getting crazy winter storms for the past two weeks!!
Post # 16
If you want this to happen, you may have to approach this celebration from a completely different angle.
If you’re choosing the same, or nearly the same, venue, decor, attire, guests, etc., that could be why you’re having the same outcome. Sometimes we have to go in a completely different direction to get different results.
The best thing you can do is pray; ask God for help. Ask Him what kind of vow renewal, wedding, or celebration you should have, and ask Him to provide for it. You may find that you’ve been trying to plan a style of event that you’re not supposed to have. God may want something different for you, so ask Him what He wants. For example, maybe you’re not supposed to have a bunch of guests. Maybe it’s supposed to be just you and your husband, or you, your husband, and five or six family members and friends. Maybe the location is one that you haven’t even considered. Do you see what I mean? It could be something you’ve never thought of.
When it comes to what other people think, you may have to stop telling them your plans altogether. Plan the event, invite those who should be invited (if there should be guests), and enjoy. The people who don’t like it can simply not attend, if they even find out about it at all.