(Closed) When, if ever, does a +1 contribute to a wedding gift?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is a +1 ever responsible for chipping in for a wedding gift? If so, when?
    A +1 whether invited by name or not, is never responsible for the wedding gift. : (25 votes)
    26 %
    Has socialized with the couple a number of times, but would otherwise not be invited. : (12 votes)
    13 %
    Regularly socialize with the couple, but if I broke up with SO tomorrow would not be invited. : (18 votes)
    19 %
    Close friends with this couple, would probably continue a relationship independent of my SO : (25 votes)
    26 %
    Other (please explain) : (15 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    526 posts
    Busy bee

    IMO Its not their relationship with the bride or groom (which clearly isn’t much if they aren’t named on the invite) but their financial relationship with the named invitee. 

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    9057 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I’d say once they’re serious enough that their finances are combined. However at that point, exactly how they divide expenses is still up to them as a couple…. So never?

    Post # 5
    Member
    9693 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @weddingmaven:  I would assume that a gift would be given as a couple. I’ve never seen two separate gifts from one couple.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1588 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    If you’re a plus one, you’re part of a couple. I’ve always assumed that gifts are given by the couple if they come as such. As a +1 and not a named guest though, I’d imagine their involvement is minimal. 

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    485 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think it’s common sense a gift should be given as a couple. 

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    9693 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @weddingmaven:  Oh! Well, that depends on how the couple divides their finances 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    9693 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @weddingmaven:  Hm. Well, how do you usually handle “date night” and joint expenses? Is it your friend, or his?

    We were invited to a wedding (and I am sure we were B List invitees) and I refused to contribute to the gift. It was FI’s friend from like 15 years ago who he hadn’t seen or talked to in ages. If it’s someone I don’t even know, I am not buying them a gift. I will tag along to the wedding so my FI has a date, but I won’t spend money on strangers (in this case, we didn’t end up going as we had something more important to do that weekend).

    If you want him to contribute, I’d suggest taking a peek at the registry and saying, babe, I will pick up X, so can you grab Y for so and so’s wedding? Then you have two reasonably priced gifts and you both contributed 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    778 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @edgebee:  This.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Usually a couple gives a combined gift that is more than what the gift would be if they are attending alone.

    Post # 14
    Member
    11242 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @SapphireSun:  Agreed. We have a couple of +1s invited and I absolutely do not expect them to give a gift or contribute in any way.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2335 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    If they’re invited as a couple, they should give a gift as a couple.  Even if its just a card that says “from Jane & John” when Jane bought the gift, its from both of them.

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    485 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I do think it’s between the couple themselves on whether the +1 actually contributes something. But I think that a card (if given) should say the gift is from both.

    The topic ‘When, if ever, does a +1 contribute to a wedding gift?’ is closed to new replies.

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