When does it dawn on husbands that you're pregnant?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

My husband realized I was pregnant when I told him, but it didn’t really sink in exactly how being pregnant felt.  I explained that it basically felt like I was hungover alllll the time.  He “got it” a little better after one drunken night and he felt like death the next day… and all I said was “NOW do you know how I feel?”

It is easier for them to be doting and what-not once you start to show though!

Post # 4
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My husband definitely didn’t feel like it was all real until I started showing. He even admitted that after the fact. I was worried in the beginning…that he was either in denial or he wasn’t excited.  Once I started showing though, you could see the change in him immediately.  Like, OMG there’s a baby in there! lol duh.  And once he felt her move, that just made it all the more real 

Post # 5
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it depends on the symptoms. My DH ‘got it’ in the first trimester when he saw how pale and nauseated I was all the time. I’m currently 33 weeks, and he just doesn’t get how tiring and all consuming it is. Going to the doctor and having the doctor explain my physical limitation has been helpful.

In his defense, I have been doing everything in my power to keep up with what I feel is ‘normal’ (going to the gym, taking long walks, making social plans, challenging myself to stay away from the my very attractive couch and TV) and I avoid complaining. So I’m not helping him understand how tired I am until I’m so tired I can’t form sentences.

I don’t think he will get it until the baby is out and effecting both our lives equally.

Post # 6
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

it didnt dawn on my husband i was pregnant really untill our son was here even then he didnt seem excited tbh he sucked sharing the pregnancy and birth he knows he did and regrets he cant get that 9 months back and 6 weeks of his sons birth/life back but he said because he had a daughter already from a previous relationship he felt like he had done it all before. hes making up for it now hes a fab dad to both our kids.

i deffo got the short straw lol.

Post # 7
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee

I think when they go to the appointment and hear the heartbeat or when they feel the baby move. That’s how my xDH was with my first pregnancy.

Post # 8
Member
3989 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m 15 weeks and not showing and I still haven’t had the reality check of, “You’re pegnant!”

Post # 9
Member
3010 posts
Sugar bee

I think it wasn’t until I was showing that he got it more. And then at 33w I had a GI bug & ended up in labor & delivery for dehydration. Yes, it took a long time. I’m 37w now and he’s more involved & interested all the time. I’m curious to see what happens when our son is here in a few weeks. 

Post # 10
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

About a week after we found out I was pregnant, I started feeling really sick.  My husband once said to me it was too early for me to be feeling sick and that I was milking it (in his defense, I do tend to be a bit dramatic when I don’t feel well, but that was NOT the case this time).  I gave him the biggest death stare ever and told him to never say something like that to me ever again until he was able to get pregnant.  He turned that shit around real quick! lol. He’s been waiting on me hand and foot ever since. So, I think he “got it” then!

It definitely became a lot more real for him once he could feel baby moving and I started showing.  It melted my heart the other day when we were talking about something and he said “I love the baby so much already.”  (Also made me a bit jealous because I don’t really feel that way yet haha)

Post # 12
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

For some men it’s definitely not until you are in active labor and holy heck(!) there is going to be a baby here soon!  For others it’s when they hear the first heartbeat.  I think the biggest reality check is when they can feel the baby kick through your belly.  Before that point it is all test results and weird black and white shadowy pictures to them.

Post # 13
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@the_newlymintedmrs-s17:  I was very blessed to not have any morning sickness, so he figured because I wasn’t puking my guts out that I was just fine and normal like always. He didn’t understand how hard it was to drag my dead ass out of bed at 3 to let the dog out. “Oh, well, you’re not sick so its ok.”

Honestly, he “got it” after his friend, who has 2 kids with his wife, came over. He was talking to me and said, “Yeah, [Chelsea] couldn’t remember anything, and she felt really overwhelmed. Not to mention her vision was blurred and she was really sore.” I said, “That’s how I feel. I can’t see things sometimes, and I am pretty sore all around.” DH stares at me and says, “You can’t see??? You’re sore? You don’t act like you’re sore or can’t see!” I said, “That’s because I don’t whine about every little thing, but yeah, just because I am not puking doesn’t mean my body isn’t making up for it in other ways.

After that, he started asking me how I was feeling on a daily basis and paying more attention to what I was feeling. Sometimes he forgets, but for the most part he asks if I need any help or just goes and does things. I morely have to ask him though, and I am ok with asking for help.

Post # 14
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t think it dawned on him till he was holdin our baby!! MEN!!

Post # 15
Member
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m newly pregnant and nervous about this! I baby the heck out of my husband when he gets sick because, like most men, he acts like it’s the end of the world. When I get sick, I mostly just suck it up and deal with it, so I don’t know that he’s going to know what to do or how serious it is.

Last night, I was so tired, I went to bed before 8pm…and our dog is sick and got up a few times in the night. I wake up at 5 for the gym and work, but my husband still took me up on my half hearted offer to take the dog two times. 

Grrrr. Hopefully it will sink in when we have our first ultrasound, or at the worst, when I start showing. 

Post # 16
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

24 weeks and I still don’t think he “gets” pregnancy…I was really sick for the first 18 weeks, throwing up multiple times a day, eating only potatoes, and going to bed by 6pm every night. He didn’t get it, he just kept saying things like, why are sick all the time, didn’t the doctor give you medecine, So and So is pregnant and she’s not sick…UGH. Now that I’m showing I still don’t think he gets how difficult is can be to be pregnant, I still haven’t passed the tired front but I’ve extended my bedtime to 7pm on most nights…I think it’s hard for him to understand how I feel because he’s not going through it himself. All he experiences is his once sweet and kind wife turning into an evil version of sleeping beauty!

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