(Closed) When does this get easier? I need your advice. An MOB vent.

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
46245 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Give her some time to get used to the idea. You only told her today that her daughter won’t be getting married in her hometown.


Post # 4
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I wouldn’t explain much to Her except this: it is your day and this is what you BOTH want. She can either be happy or respectfully quiet about your plans. I wouldn’t ask her opinion on things because that just invites her to be hurtful. I also would try to pay for everything yourself because honestly it sounds like something she will hold over your head and use to guilt you into things you don’t want to do.

Post # 5
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@julies1949: ditto 

Give it time. She’s probably had this idea that you would come back to your hometown to get married. She may be traditional and that’s how it’s usually done. 

She will come around. You have a WHOLE year until the wedding. Do not start stressing about stuff that you cannot control. You will be in a mental hospital by the end of the year if you don’t stop. 

Post # 6
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with these ladies…you only get married once and you guys need to have it how you want it. My story is the same as yours…grew up in Alabama, moved to charleston where I met the Fiance and decided to have the wedding here. And you know what? Can you imagine having to travel all the way back home with ALLLL of your things?? That would drive you up the wall, and on the week of your wedding, the less stress the better. Especially since you guys are willing to pitch in cost wise. It’s your wedding. Do what makes you happy. The moms will get over it….. the fact is Texas is your home now…. period. Good luck!!

Post # 7
7421 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It gets easier when -you let go of your expectations that other people will make it easier for you.

Everyone has their own standards  of what they think your wedding should be about, and rarely does it have anything with the bride/groom. 9 times out of 10, it always has to do with other peoples egos, jealousy, insecurities rather than some legit concern. Now I’m sure it is easier for your mom and your immediate family, if you host it in your former home town. However, as a couple you came to this decsion together. This is the first of many for your new baby family. She’s just gonna have get over it.

Prepare yourself that for the duration of your wedding season there will be many other hardcore opinions on what you should do, how it should be done, how much your spending, why can’t so and so be invited. why are you inviting him/her, why can’t ….blah, blah, blah. Stick to your vision (within reason) and don’t be bullied or emotionally maniuplated.

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