- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I grew up in the midwest, but moved to Texas about 7 years ago, where I met my fiance. From the second we got engaged, there’s been nothing but stress and disagreement from all angles about our wedding, and we haven’t even been able to get past the location yet. My mom has been very opinionated about getting married in the midwest, and at first, I thought that was what I wanted to do. My fiance was not real sold on that idea; his dad owns a catering company here in Texas which would save us a LOT of time and money, and he wasn’t super excited about all the stress (and traveling) that we would have to do to plan it there. After looking at a ton of websites for midwestern locations, and not finding anything I really liked anyway, my fiance and I found a place in Houston that I fell absolutely head over heels in love with. For once it felt like things were going right!
Until today, talking to my mom… When she asked about wedding plans, I told her that we’d found a place that we both loved. I knew how she was going to react before I even told her where it was. When she found out that we wanted to do it here, she was really upset. She kept saying “I’m not mad, but I’m not very happy about it either.” She said she felt like I was doing it just to make HIM happy, and didn’t want me just to give in. I know she’s upset that a lot of her family won’t be able to make the long travel for financial reasons, but I’m willing to do a reception or engagement party in the midwest too to include them.
The other issue we’re having is that his family has a lot more financial resources than mine. She feels offended because she has the impression that he doesn’t think Iowa is good enough. Also, planning a wedding in a big city IS a little more expensive, and she’s worried about costs. We’re not planning anything over the top, and what is expensive to her and my dad seems to be considered a reasonable (or even cheap!) price range here in the city. I told her we didn’t expect her and my dad to pay for everything. All of the sudden I feel like she’s not happy with anything about the wedding, right down to the groom. We’re just SO different about things; she’s not real girlie, and I am. She’s very tight with her money and will pinch a penny as hard as she can, and I’m not worried about spending a LITTLE more to get what I want. We just don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. All I REALLY want is to hear her say she’s happy for me, and be excited. Plain and simple, we just DON’T share the same vision of a wedding.
I know we can’t make EVERYONE happy with this, but am I being unreasonable? It seems like no matter WHAT I do, someone is upset. I just thought wedding planning was supposed to be a happy time, and all I’ve done is cry about it. When does all of this get easier???