Weddingbee boards

Yeah, weird, I know - but I just felt like posting about it. I had a fight with my boyfriend last night, which is pretty rare for us. I got mad at him for some comments he made about another girl when we had been out with a group of his friends a month ago - I was just reminded of the comments because we were out with a bunch of people, her included, last night. I had a couple of beers in me and I got a little bit mad at him on the drive home for how 'uncomfortable' he had made me with these comments (basically he said that she had nice boobs. Not really a huge deal but it did kinda bug me at the time, and I hadn't brought it up since it happened.). He was uncommunicative and upset for most of the rest of the night because he was mad that I hadn't told him that his behaviour upset me right after it happened. He was right, I should have brought it up earlier. And in all honesty, I was being kind of unreasonably jealous.

Anyway the content of the fight wasn't really the point, but having the fight yesterday ultimately made me feel really happy about our relationship, even though last night was pretty unpleasant and even today I kind of felt residually sad about it. Tonight we are back to normal/awesomeness. It reminded me that we are both really good at being polite to each other and not losing our cool, even when we are upset with each other. He told me why he was upset, I listened, and agreed with him that it was a fair assessment and we should both act differently in the future. I knew he needed space so I just went to bed early and let him chill on his own. Today everything is fine, neither of us are mad anymore, and we even had a conversation about how excited we both are to get married and live together, and to have children together :)  We are still both kind of shy and cute about it with each other... even though we talk about it a lot! It's always stuff like 'well, at that point we would probably live together, right?' 'you want to live with me? (smile)(hug)' and 'well maybe by then we would have a baby..i mean.. if that's what you want to do too.. that's what I want to do!'  * melt *

I've had relationships in the past where arguments tended to get out of hand, involving rudeness and insults, and I'm just so happy to now be with someone who is more mature about communicating, who I can have 'good', productive arguments with (when they are necessary) rather than petty, rude fights. I think it bodes well for our future marriage that we are respectful of each other even when we are mad at each other. 

What about you guys? How do you and your SO fight? When you reflect on the less-than-perfect times in your relationship, how does it make you feel about marriage?

@juneebee: Oh I know how you feel, the 'giving space' part is reallly hard for me too, hence why I was still all mopey yesterday until his space-needing time was fully over and we could just get back to normal, haha. But being able to give someone some space after an argument is a good skill to work on because some people really need that.

My ex was awful about fighting and meanness. Now that I am with someone who is so much more reasonable, I can't believe I put up with that for so long! I mean there was a lot of good in that relationship too, but when someone tells you to 'F off' every time they are mad at you about something....that's gotta be a dealbreaker!!

@araneidae: Hi! I totally agree with you that you can have productive "fights." (arguments). I actually had a "come to Jesus" talk with my SO this morning! I had been holding some stuff inside that was bothering me and I knew I had to just be honest with him. He took it very well! I was able to fully explain how I felt, while he listened. He was able to explain his thoughts and feelings while I listened. I really think that when we have these disagreements and are able to resolve them, it makes us stronger.

Like you, I have been in relationships in the past where arguments include low blows, insults and even break ups. That is never a good sign. One thing that sets SO apart from ALL other relationships is that no matter what happens, we come out together and stronger. Very good sign! : ) So yes, I agree, resolving disagreements are great and can make you stronger and more appreciative.