(Closed) When friends and family around you are getting married….and ur not!

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

Well first thing is first- are you already engaged? You said he proposed but won’t plan with you- what is your current status?

Post # 4
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

If you dont count on “it”. That is your problem, not the other family member.  You need to communicate your problems and feelings o him, but dont let it roll over to other celebrations. They are seperate issues.

Post # 6
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

@sunshine8: Then since the engagement is off, I would not go to the function- you may spoil this young lady’s day for issues that don’t even pertain to her.

I also think that your words aren’t affecting your SO, you may want to turn up the heat. Get busy with other things, avoid him as much as possible, if you are living together, you may want to look into moving out. Clearly he isn’t showing you he is serious, so then you have to show him you are serious. Right now I see both of you at a stalemate- one of you needs to break it and it doesn’t seem like it will be him.

Post # 7
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

Joint savings? That is a simple solution, tell him to open an account with you and both of you come up with a plan of what to put in there. $20 a week or whatever.

I mean, I will be honest- both me and my SO have separate accounts and that is the plan even after we are married, I really don’t see the need to join accounts. I do understand though that some people need that security, so I would allow him to continue having his own personal accounts and join one or two with you. Agree to how much you both will be dumping in the account and what the money will be used for and let him keep all of his other accounts for himself.

Post # 8
Member
40 posts
Newbee

Do you normally attend his family functions? If you’ve generally always attended, I would say you need to go. If you pick this time to stay home, she may be hurt, and being a very young bride, she needs all the support she can get. 

However, if you only attend family parties sporadically, then I’m sure it would be fine for him to attend without you. 

Post # 9
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

My way older cousin who’s divorced and marrying someone younger than me who he’s dated for 1/5 the time my SO & I have been dating are getting married in November and I just can’t bring myself to go to his wedding without an e-ring on my finger.  I went to his first wedding with my SO which was a huuuuge million dollar blow out wedding.  Sometimes I just can’t bear the thought of going to my cousin’s second wedding with my same SO 4 years later.  There’s now talk from my SO that we will be engaged by then, in which case I could totally handle it.  But I just wanted to say, I myself would seriously consider not going.  I’ve told my parents I’m not going to my cousin’s wedding as he used up my wedding attendance.  (I know how horrible that sounds, but if you knew how elaborate his wedding was and how it was like Jesus himself was getting married to the Queen of England, you would not want to repeat that experience, haha.)

Post # 10
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with AprilMae. If you go spordaically, then don’t go. Stuff is hard sometimes and even if you try to be happy and excited for others, something SOMEONE else may say to you, may make you sad or in the dumps.

 

The topic ‘When friends and family around you are getting married….and ur not!’ is closed to new replies.

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