When friends post bigoted stuff on FB…

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: What would you do?
    End the friendship : (36 votes)
    32 %
    Call them our publically : (14 votes)
    12 %
    Confront in a private conversation : (10 votes)
    9 %
    Ignore : (42 votes)
    37 %
    Other : (11 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @worldtraveler:  You can hide the individual posts or hide all of their posts or unfriend them.  I unfriended a lot of people during the last election cycle based on their racist and uneducated comments.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2851 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Hmm.. I’d probably un friend them and not contact them anymore. If they question it, go ahead and let them know that you were offended by what they said and have no room for that kind of hatred in your life.

    WOW.

    Post # 5
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    I would advise against having a private conversation unless the gist of it is that you would prefer they kept their racist/homophobic comments to themselves and not share them with you.

    Post # 6
    Member
    720 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I come from a fairly conservative town (I am very liberal), so I have a lot of friends who I disagree with in terms of political issues. Welfare, education, abortion, you name it. One thing I cannot and do not tolerate, though, is bigotry – whether it’s against women, people of other races/religions or gay people. Whenever I see something like you’ve outlined above posted on Facebook, I immediately de-friend that person. It’s disgusting and I do not want to be associated in any way shape or form with people who think these things. Luckily, none of the people I have de-friended have been good friends off-line, so it hasn’t caused any real issues. I honestly would have a very hard time being friends with someone who thinks the things you mentioned; if I were you, I wouldn’t worry about what to do on Facebook – I would be thinking about whether or not these people belong in your life at all. Online and off.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1749 posts
    Bumble bee

    If I don’t like what someone posts, but don’t feel it’s enough to cut contact, I just go to their Facebook page and uncheck what updates I get from them. I’ve done that with people who posted too many posts about sex, too many posts about politics, too many posts about homosexuality, too many posts about religion, too many inspirational quotes, nearly any post of drug use or getting drunk, and people who I just didn’t like seeing in my feed all the time.

     

    it’s not hard to do, they don’t need to know, and I still go to their pages when I feel like it. Easy peasy — problem solved. 

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    4367 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would unfriend them.  In my experience, none of my really good friends would be my really good friends if they were bigots in any way.

    I was casual friends with this girl from work who happened to post “Don’t lie, I know I am not the only one who gets scared when I see turbanheads on a plane.”

    That pissed me off for several reasons – the number one being that I am from one of the biggest muslim populated cities in the country.  I thought that was so stupid & incredibly narrowminded.

    I deleted her, and I know she felt like a total dick when I saw her.

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I delete them.  I’m too old to have that crap in my life.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3635 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    My policy is this:  I make one comment, respectful and questioning.  As in – you know I’m dating a Muslim, right?  What if they were all like him?  Have you considered maybe Muslims are more like my boyfriend than the picture painted in the media?

    If I get a combative or really pissy response, un-friend them and that’s that.  No time for that.  If they tone it down, they get a second chance.

    Post # 12
    Member
    939 posts
    Busy bee

    I unfriend. I keeps people as friends and hide their posts if they post stuff that annoys me, but if you are being offensive and biggoted I unfriend every tim, I have no space for that in my life.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    1555 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I ignore unless it’s really really offensive or rude.  I live in the South now and some things I read on FB make my skin crawl.  I usually ignore and in some cases, I just hide their info (like my aunt-in-law [is that a real thing] that posts Jesus stuff and anti abortion bloody fetuses, etc. ) but if it’s REALLY bad and upsets me that much, I just delete the friend.  I don’t confront people about things but if they ask, I’ll tell them. 

    Once can be written off as a lapse in judgement but more than that can really start to be a bother, especially given the situations.  People can do what they want, but that doesn’t mean you have to agree or take it.  Choose whatever feels best for you.

    Post # 14
    Member
    10384 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I couldn’t be friends with people like that.

    Post # 15
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @worldtraveler:  It depends how important the friendships are to you. Is it important to you to agree with everything your friends say? I don’t agree with everything my friends say and I’m okay with that – it makes life interesting. Just because their opinion is controversial doesn’t mean that you are right and they are wrong…it just means that you disagree.

    Can you separate who the person is as a friend versus how they feel about one particular issue? If you can’t, then I guess you can’t be friends. If you can, then I’d just ignore it and move on. I don’t think it’s important to call people on every single thing I disagree with. What’s the point in that? Will it change them? No. Will it annoy them and possibly make them end the friendship before you can? Maybe.

    Only you can answer this question.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2562 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    You can hid their status updates and remind yourself that the sum of a person is not held within one facebook status they post. :/

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