Post # 1
My RSVP date is this Friday and I’m still missing responses from approximately 90 guests (we invited approximately 220), so I’m preparing myself to make some phone calls. Here’s the problem…..some of the guests that have replied classily penciled in a new line for “Maybe Attending.” Yep. That’s right. They didn’t check yes or no….they created a noncommital category for themselves. We’ve put out some feelers to the guests that haven’t yet been respond and they’re similiarly in the “maybe” category.
Almost all of the guests that have yet to respond or have responded “maybe” are on my FI’s side and are people I have never met. I have no idea how to begin calling to explain to them that either “maybe” is not an appropriate category or that they need to let me know if they’re attending or not. How do you nicely tell someone that if they don’t reply there will not be food for them and they will not have a place to sit. If this were one or two people it wouldn’t be a huge deal, but with almost 100 in this category, I have a BIG problem. HELP…and thanks for letting me vent!
Post # 3
What the hell – this isn’t facebook! I would just tell them you need a definitive answer to give to your venue. If they still aren’t sure, let them know you’ll have to mark them as a “no” if you don’t hear from them by the end of the week. Try not to worry about being rude; giving someone a “maybe” is rude (unless they have a very good reason)!
Post # 4
I’d just let them know that you need a definite number by a certain date so that you know how much food to have. If they can’t commit by that date, then you’ll consider them a ‘no’. Then tell them sorry, there won’t be enough seats and food for them if they can’t commit.
Post # 5
He can help with this too. It’s not just your problem.
Just tell them that you realize that sometimes it’s difficult to make a commitment, and you do understand if they are not able to attend,but that your venue/caterer needs a definite yes or no, and that is what you need from them.
Tell them your venue and caterer have told you that they will not be able to accomodate guests who have not rsvp’d.
Post # 6
@Juliepants: i agree WHAT THE HELL?!?! who does maybe to a wedding if you cant commit time to come to my wedding then just mark no and dont bother me for a while. lol. people seriously dont know who much weddings are per person maybe answer is so RUDE!!!!
Post # 7
Yup – I say tackle the phone calls together… And just use your venue as an excuse – we need an answer to give a final count to our reception venue/caterer/etc…
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Split the list in half, and this weekend, you and FI need to start burning up the phone line. Caterers need final head counts- plan and simple.
Unbelievable- sorry you have to deal with this. People are crazy!
Post # 9
I agree, they definitely need to give you a committed answer, and you should definitely enlist FI’s help since they’re on his side. I think calling up the “maybes” and telling them that you need a definite yes or no by the end of the week or you will regretfully have to mark them as “no” will help get people moving. If they don’t get back to you in time, tough.
Post # 10
FI actually offered to make the phone calls for me on “questonable” RSVPS. Maybe if you tackle it together it won’t be so bad. Seriously though, who responds maybe??
I would just tell them that you are required by your venue to have a final count and you need to know a definite answer asap. Put it all on the venue 😛
Post # 11
First of all, split the call list between you & FH. Second of all, just say the following: “Hi there, it’s so-and-so calling. [X date] was our RSVP-by date, and we need to get the final count in to our venue. Will you be attending the wedding?” Wash, rinse, repeat. If someone says “We’re not sure”, offer to call back in a day or two, but CALL BACK and DEMAND THAT ANSWER. If they stall, simply say “Our venue needs an exact count. Unfortunately we’re not able to accomodate anything but a yes or no answer right now.”.
Post # 12
Hah! That “Maybe” thing is almost worse then not responding at all. What a waste of time! If you can’t say Yes, you say No. Simple, one would think.
I agree with PP’s, ask your FI to help you out since they’re HIS friends/relatives and say exactly what tiffybear and julies1949 mentioned. Nothing rude about it, you just absolutely need a definite answer for your caterer, etc.
For other’s that just haven’t responded, I wrote msg’s/emails/texts that said “Hey John or Jane! Just wondering if you got the invitation to DH and mine’s wedding as we haven’t heard from you yet. If you could let me know if you’d be able to make it and if you’re bringing a +1, that’d be great!
If you haven’t received it, we apologize profusely and take this as a formal invitation to our wedding on XX at XX at This Venue”
I got prompt answers from that.
Post # 13
so weird that you have SO many people who did this.
If i were truly unsure of whether I could make it by the respond date, I would decline out of respect for the host.
Post # 14
Hah, I got some of those. The only ones remaining are actually legitimate maybes. There are some circumstances beyond their control. I’m good with it.
Everyone else? One email. One phone call. Then I’m putting them down as a “No”. What gets me is… a number of our non/late responders are getting married themselves this year. I guess they’ve got a lot going on, but… really?
Post # 15
@Juliepants: haha Agree, maybe was not an opion on the card so it means NO to me. I would tell those people its like holding a spot in line at the playground this is unexceptable LOL
Post # 16
Many people use the rsvp date as a postmark date, so you may get a lot of responses back next week. This sucks though, these people are totally missing the point of an rsvp. If they do show, “maybe” there wll be food for them and maybe not.