Post # 1
..what do you do?
I’ll start. I’m a very opinionated and generally have strong thoughts about many aspects in life, and cheating is one of them. My bff and I go out to bars together alone and we sit at the bar and chat, drink, have a good time and seeing that she’s married and i’m engaged, neither of us wants to be bothered. When guys straight up hit on me and flirt I make it very clear that they need to back off. I attempt to be nice the first time around if I see that their intentions are noble (although I rarely see that happening) but it usually ends up with me turning my back on them and speaking to whoever I’m there with and completely flat out ignoring them. My friend on the other hand, will continue conversing with them and flirting away and telling me she’s just being nice and having a ncie conversation with this “sweet guy”..I digress. I’m not one for small talk and light flirting unless i’m convincing the bar tender to make my drink stronger.
So for you taken bees, how do you deal with fiesty men/women who shamelessly hit on you and/or attack you on a dance floor (like randomly grab you and dance with you when you’re with your friends)?.
That leads me to another question: how do you define cheating?
Post # 3
I hate being hit on. I will sometimes RUN away if they aren’t backing down. Most of the time I try to ignore them or give them the short “I’m taken” response and turn away. Now that I have my e-ring often I will just hold up my hand so they can see and turn away.
imo cheating is being emotionally or physically attracted to someone else and acting on that in even the slightest bit (flirty texts, holding hands etc) when you act on a crush or interest it becomes cheating no matter how insignificant the act may seem
Post # 4
I will chat with anyone who is friendly, but if it’s a guy, I make it very clear early on that I’m engaged. I would be pissed if I were single and I was flirting with a guy all night and found out he had an SO, so I try not to do that to other people. Anyway, If they want to chat, I’ll chat as long as we’re on the same page. If they come up and grab me though, their hands get thrown off of me, or if they won’t go away they get a palm in their face. I don’t hit them, its just so awkward that they leave.
Post # 5
This is when my b*tchface comes in handy
Post # 6
@pinkgreenandyellow: Haha I laughed to the running away part :P.
Post # 7
@LGenz: This reminds me of this clicky. I love jenna. But yeah. That face is a favorite of mine also!
Post # 8
@CaliHoya: Haha I’m curious about the palm in the face thing – since you don’t actually hit them, do you just place your hand on their face? This would be hilarious, I’d love to see that in action hehe. Interesting technique 😛
Post # 9
I’m a naturally flirty person so I end up in this situation a lot. I usually just find some way to bring up my FI in the conversation. “Oh your bother is a Marine? My Fiance is a Cpl” that usually helps to end him hitting on me.
I personally don’t think it’s a big deal to get hit on. It’s not like I’m going to run off and start an affair of any kind with this man/woman because they think I am attractive. I would certianly never be rude to someone who was harmlessly flirting.
Post # 10
My reaction is similar to yours — I am polite at first and then completely ignore the person and show no interest whatsoever. They usually take the hint pretty quickly.
Post # 11
I’m like your friend. I’ve always been flirtatious by nature, not even with just men but women too. I like to touch people I’m talking to – on the arm, their hand, etc.. It helps to establish a connection sometimes. In this case, I shamelessly flirt back.. but I’ll casually throw in the fact that I am engaged somewhere down the line when the intentions are slowly made clear.
I’ve been on the other end too. A married man would flirt with me, then eventually bring his wife up into the conversation. It’s almost as if both parties still want to feel that they “still got it” , but there is no ill intention behind it. It’s still fun; you meet new people.
As someone once told me: “You may be married, but you’re not dead.”
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
I am friendly and will chat, but if the guy is getting too “friendly” I politely show him my hand and say, “I’m sorry if you got the wrong idea… I’m married!” That usually gets them to back off pretty quickly! 🙂
Post # 13
@Fantastagirl: This. In most cases, the flirting is harmless. And I don’t automatically assume that because a guy is talking to me that he’s flirting with me. There is surprisingly such thing as conversations without sexual intention between a man and a woman!
I would never be rude to a guy for thinking I was pretty and wanting to talk to me! For all I know he could be a really really nice guy that took a lot of talking up in order to come speak to me.
Post # 14
If someone walks up and starts talking to me, I’ll give them a chance, but as soon as it’s obvious their intention is to flirt with me I tell them straight up that I am married (and in the past engaged/taken). and usually that makes them go away.
I don’t allow myself to “innocently” flirt with anyone but my husband.
If someone was to actually grab me on the dance floor I would turn around and slap them!
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
I don’t get hit on nearly often enough to have a strategy. The last time it happened, it was by someone roaring drunk in a club, and to be honest it was funnier to just see if he could keep up with some wisecracking – he couldn’t, poor dear.
Post # 16
Well, usually I’m really oblivious and never realize I was just hit on – unless the guy is really really lacking in the subtlety department.. Then I just get annoyed and tell them off, because I hate to be hit on.
DH would have never been able to get with me if he had hit on me.. In fact, he saw a few guys get burnt at the game and learned from their mistakes. He was really smooth to get to me. I never saw he was flirting.
As for flirting back when you’re not available, I have a problem with that. I wouldn’t want DH to flirt, so I don’t flirt either (not that I would want to anyway). I think it’s a matter of respect for your partner and relationship.