(Closed) When helping is just unhelpful… *Vent*

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

That must be really annoying! Maybe because your wedding is not traditional, it’s hard for them to figure out what would fit in. In your head, it probably all makes sense and fits together, but for another person, it might be hard to envision. My mom always has suggestions for me too, and they don’t always fit in with our concept for the day. No matter how much I try to explain my style to her, it’s hard for her to completely leave the traditional wedding mentality behind. Same with vendors – they know what they have done, and they don’t usually offer superhelpful suggestions – I have to go in asking for what I want. If you do want a nontraditional wedding, that might be the only way to get it. 

Post # 4
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I understand this can be very frustrating, but try to keep in mind that, often, when people make suggestions they are *trying* to be helpful. I agree with girlwitharing, that it may be difficult for other people to see your vision- even when you carefully illustrate it. After all, this is your vision, not theirs, so they haven’t already got this in their heads. And since “nontraditional” isn’t really that descriptive, you’ll end up with a lot of “traditional” things suggested- both because some people can’t let go of certain traditions and because others don’t see the same things as traditional. Try to keep your head up- and remember, they’re only suggestions. You can always say no!

Post # 6
Member
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

i can understand. if you have a clear image of you wedding is really annoying to have people dont get it. just take a depth breath and just use a polite “thanks, but that is not the look im looking for”  

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