When his friends just rub you the wrong way……

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@amoret11:  Is there any way you can just share less information with them?  I personally like to answer stupid questions with stupid answers.  For example, if they ask you about procreating, start making up horrible sexual situations and make them really uncomfortable.

Post # 5
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@amoret11:  Maybe talk to your husband about how what they say upsets/annoys you.  I think it’ll be a lot easier to “handle” these friends if you both are on the same page.

Post # 6
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I don’t always get along with my husband’s friends. They can be selfish and insensitive at times. I have talked about it with my husband and he knows to intervene and change the subject when they are being particularly bad. Sometimes I skip hanging out with his friends or I go home early when I’ve had enough to avoid getting mean and bitchy towards them. I don’t make a big deal about it in front of his friends so they’ve learned that I just prefer to go home early alone sometimes and other times I encourage them to just have a guys night.

Post # 8
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@amoret11:  His friends stay at my house too. The worst part is that we live downtown within walking distance of the local bar district and since they are single they all want to visit and close the bars down. I HATE closing down bars and they are at their worst when they’re drunk. Thankfully it’s only 4 or 5 weekends out of the year.

Post # 9
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@amoret11:  Does your husband have any idea how much this annoys you? My husband and I only hang out with people we both like. I know some people wouldn’t be willing to do that but you described our situation in your previous post – we outgrew a lot of our childhood friends and it was just tedious to be around them. 

House guests it is especially important we are both on the same page. I hate having people stay at my house so if it absolutely must happen then it is definitely going to be people I actually like. I don’t know, I just feel life is too short to be around people I dislike. 

Post # 11
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

Some of my SO’s friends REALLY annoy me. Like the one guy constantly talks about “sexy bitches,” but the complains that he’s never actually had a girlfriend. I’m not saying it’s all about money and looks, but he works part time retail, isn’t fit or very nice to look at, and on top of that he is a MAJOR jerk. You have to have one thing going for you if you want to have a girlfriend!! LOL

My SO’s other friend that totally annoys me contacts him ALL.THE.TIME. Then he complains if my SO wants to hang out with me instead of playing video games with him or something. SO and I have been together for five years, he’s known this guy for maybe two, so it’s not like some childhood friend we’re talking about here. He is constantly saying stuff like, “If you weren’t with the same person for five years you could do this…” WTF.

 

Post # 12
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

They don’t sound bad at all.  Close friends talk about things like procreating and it sounds like these people are close friends of his.  It also sounds like they’re more comfortable with you than you are with them.  

 

Also, if you don’t want your husband sharing every detail of your lives with these people then ask him to stop.  I don’t see any reason why he shouldn’t be able to respect your wishes. 

 

Post # 13
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee

I’d ask my SO not to share intimate details of our lives. That way they can’t judge you for them. Other than that, I think you’re handling this about as well as you can. 

Post # 14
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@amoret11:  keep meetings with them very few. Lol 

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