(Closed) When I can’t make it to a wedding I….

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: When I can't make it to a wedding I usually send....
    A gift : (38 votes)
    40 %
    A check : (16 votes)
    17 %
    A card : (9 votes)
    10 %
    Nothing... just the RSVP card telling them I can't go. : (31 votes)
    33 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    16217 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I send a gift from the registry with a card expressing my regrets.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2091 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I haven’t RSVP-ed no to a wedding, but my parents have and they just send a card. If it were me, I’d just send the RSVP slip back checked ‘no’ and leave it at that.

    Post # 5
    Member
    591 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We have been invited to quite a few weddings that we couldn’t attend and usually always send a card and a gift. I couldn’t vote because there is no card and gift combo option.

    Post # 6
    Member
    164 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    i always send a gift or a check, with a card!

    Post # 7
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’ve yet to RSVP “no” to a wedding but if I did, I would definitely still send a card with a check.

    Post # 8
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I always send a gift.

    Post # 10
    Member
    785 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    In my opinion, if you are invited to a wedding, you have to get the bride and groom a gift of some kind.  If you are totally broke, then a card by itself will do, but not sending anything is like saying you care so little about their marriage that you won’t go and you won’t even acknowledge it in some congratulatory form.  If they care enough about you to invite you, then you need to care enough about them to send something–especially because you’re not even going to their wedding!

    Post # 11
    Member
    622 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I usually don’t attend weddings if I don’t feel close to the person or know them.  In that case, I send back the reply card with a ‘no’ and leave it at that.

    However, if I know the person and I just happen to not be able to make it.  Then I definitely send a card with money (is that considered a gift?).  I usually do that rather than buy a gift because I don’t know when I’ll see the newlyweds in person next.

    Post # 12
    Member
    381 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I always grab a gift from the registery as soon as I send the “no”RSVP back. If it’s someone I don’t know well I’ll usually get something that’s a bit more affordable than if it’s someone I know really well. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    883 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Gift for sure, nothing too big though because if I haven’t gone it is because I wasn’t to terribly close to them.

    Post # 15
    Member
    4774 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    gift + card

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