- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
As many of you may remember, I’m in an LDR with my boyfriend of 1 and a half years. We were local for the first 6 months, and then only a short distance away until a few months ago, when he moved very far away—he is in the military. (he asked me to go with him, I said not without a ring) You may also remember that he has made some pretty dramatic progress from not being able to say the M-word at all, to saying that he wants to marry me and have kids with me, and coming up with venues for the wedding. All this good stuff had happened over the phone, as we have not seen each other in a few months due to the move. I just saw him for a week and of course in my heart of hearts was excited for a proposal. I successfully put it out of my mind and had a great time with him until the last day of our visit.
Here’s where I broke the Shut-It-Up Pact. (I had been Shutting-It-Up a LOT before this, and that is probably why so much progress was made with him bringing up the future) I was crying in the shower when I realized we had not talked about the engagement for the entire trip. I told him I had expected we would talk about it more in person since we had discussed it a little over the phone, and that my feelings and ego were hurt by this. I was crying but not angry. He apologized. He said he thought that it would not be romantic if we talked about it beforehand, and that he still had to buy the ring. He sounded a little lost about the ring, and I have a place I like, so I said we could shop for the ring together. The air was somewhat cleared, but I did tell him that my feelings were hurt, and he said he felt like a failure. I explained that it’s easy to hurt someone’s feelings and that does not mean he did anything wrong. By the time he left we felt better, and more importantly, I feel better knowing that A) he still wants to propose B) I get to help pick out the ring, which was something I really wanted
Bees, I wanted to share this with you because it’s not all sunshine and roses when you tell your partner that your feelings are hurt. But I don’t think that means you’re doing it wrong. What I’ve learned from all of you is that it’s important not to get angry and instead just tell your partner how you feel. I think that talk went very well and if all our tiffs when we are married go that well, I’ll thank God every day!