Post # 1
I think we’re all familiar with the somewhat corny/borderline offensive expression, but I decided to use it for convenience’s sake.
This is a question that interests me on a very personal level: ever since moving to the states, I’ve found myself engaged in several conversations with women who claimed they “first heard their biological clock ticking”, which seems to be shorthand for “first felt like they wanted a baby”, well into their thirties. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, I’m starting to feel a bit lonely and embarrassed of what I fully understand to be an irresponsible/selfish yearning that I’ve had since I was about… 18?
I’m 25 now, so I am in fact doing the responsible thing and waiting until I have more financial stability. However, the feeling hasn’t left me: in fact it’s grown more and more pressing every year and is actually starting to feel like this weird, emotional, hormonal urge that I am trying to fight every time I see babies/pregnant women/nursing mothers/toddlers/children..
I’ve grown up in very different places that all have varying expectations for when a woman “should” be having children.
Btw- I fully realize this is itself a loaded phrase: there’s a societal “should”, a medical “should”, and a personal desire/preference “should”, all of which are not only absolutely relative to the culture you live in, but to who you are as a person (your own beliefs, your biology, aspirations, circumstances).
All of that notwithstanding, I feel like this is a question many women, no matter who and where they are, are able to answer. Are there other oddball early bloomers like me out there? Or if you’ve just felt that “urge” at any point in your life and feel like sharing, please do: it would be great to feel I’m not alone feeling this way!
Post # 3
I think women interpret “clock ticking” differently. I interpret it as “time is running out” to have a kid, vs what you said – “time to have a kid”.
I started having the yearning for a kid off and on at age 28 (what I currently am) but I don’t feel like the clock is truly ticking until i’m around 37.
Post # 4
@crayfish: exactly this – I interpret clock ticking as almost a now or never panic Thats literally “it will soon be biologically impossible to carry a child”. That has yet to happen to me, but I’m only 29.
Ive had a feeling like I’d be ready to have a baby for probably 3 years?
Post # 5
Ok I voted 26-29 before reading the full post. FI and I are in our mid to late 20s and in the same boat as you. I’ve wanted babies for many years now (we both do!) but the timing is not quite right yet. FI and I have been together 6 years and both adore children. Like you, it seems urge is stronger now than before but we also realize we’re getting more mentally and financially prepared with each passing year.
Post # 6
I’m 29 and I still have not experienced that urge to have a child. we shall see if I ever do.
Post # 7
@crayfish,SapphireSun, and ourwedding_july2013: oooooh! thank you so much: that explains a lot! sorry, as you can probably tell, I’m not from around here and the version of that sentence in my home country sort of means both things.. probably because the span of time in which it’s considered acceptable to have children is so much shorter there!
I can’t change the title of the post but I’ve changed the poll.. Hope that clarifies it!
Post # 8
My biological clock (desire to have kids) started really ticking really when I was 16. My parents’ friends had a baby and I’ve been babysitting for him ever since. I love that little boy to pieces and he makes me really want my own kid. I’m not planning to have one of my own until I’m in my mid-twenties, but I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t anxiously awaiting the day I become a mom.
Post # 9
I started in my late teens, my mother was a midwife at the time, so that may explain why. Thank goodness I knew to ignore it.
It was on and off for. Few year, then at 25/26 it was like someone switched an “on” switch, and I’ve been wanting one ever since. If things work out the way we hope (a special kind of wonderful), I am hoping to have a baby around my 30th birthday. I’m 27 now.
Post # 10
I am 26, and have no desire at all to have children; in fact, I am seriously considering sterilisation, so certain am I that I will never want children. I have spent pretty much my whole life disliking children, and have never had a maternal drive; I very much doubt I’ll hit 30 and that will change.
Not all women want children; many absolutely do not want children, ever, and never hear the ‘clock ticking’. Your post/poll kind of assumes everyone will experience it at some point, whereas that is really not the case at all.
Post # 11
I’m 27, and while I have zero interest in having a baby right now, for the first time ever lately, the idea of having a child maybe in in the next two years or so isn’t sending me into straight up panic mode. I’ve also found myself curiously peeking into the world of the TTC threads and I haven’t run screaming yet. Progress! I definitely want children some day, but I haven’t really felt that urge to procreate yet.
Post # 12
@barbie86: I’m sorry. I actually had a disclaimer paragraph (not sure where it went) saying that I am very aware that some women (and men!) go their whole lives without ever wanting children and that that there’s nothing wrong with that either. I specifically worded my original poll to have a “haven’t felt it yet” answer that includes both people that think they never will and those that think they might some day. Again, sorry if I offended you with the original question – I was only using a phrase I thought many people use in this country, whether they themselves feel that urge or not.
Post # 13
@misspeanut: That’s about where I am except I am 31. I still can’t say I want to have a child, but the mere thought doesn’t sound as horrible.
Post # 14
I’m 23, and know I want children. I am not financial or emotionally in a place to have a child now, so I plan on waiting until I am almost 30, when SO is done his program and will be employed and we will have some savings. So.. the clock isn’t “ticking,” but I definitely have a clock. And I’m babysitting to get my “fix” 🙂
Post # 15
When I was about 17 (I’m 21 now). I keep hitting snooze though, ’cause there’s loads of other things I want to do first
Post # 16
@misspeanut: ha! There’s where my SO is at the moment, I think. Before he met me, he never even considered the possibility of having children one day, because he thought he could never be a good father (his parents are divorced so he has some issues with his own upbringing). Maybe my incessant squealing over babies in the park has changed his mind… That and he’s going to be an uncle soon, so hopefully some first hand experience will help dissipate a bit of the panic!