When is it okay to stop giving someone gifts?

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
802 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

taraelisabeth:  Definitely not. It’s not a tit for tat situation, but when you’re spending a ton of money on someone, and the gesture is never returned, it doesn’t go unnoticed. Not to mention, it is certainly not your responsibility to be buying gifts for the third kid. 

I would probably get her a card and maybe a cute outfit on clearance (read: under $10). 

Post # 3
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I would still attend, but just get something inexpensive for baby. She already has kids, yes? She can’t need too much, then. Maybe a cute onesie set from Target or something.

Post # 4
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee

I feel you can give her a card with kind words; it’s not an obligation to give a monetary gift.

Post # 6
Member
314 posts
Helper bee

This makes me really sad as I have experienced very similar situations with my friends. I am sorry for your loss 🙁 she is so wrapped up in her own world that she’s already checked out of your friendship, do you think she’d even notice if you didn’t go to the baby shower or send a gift? probably not. My advice is to let her go and focus on your friendships with other people who actually value you! This girl does not appreciate you or care about your feelings, she’s selfish and you don’t need that toxicity bringing you down!! DUMP!

Post # 7
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Columbia, SC

taraelisabeth:  I have a cousin who is like my sister. Same type of situation. I would buy her something, even knowing it would not be returned. I love her, I love her kids. I do not buy for her to buy for me.

Post # 8
Member
1499 posts
Bumble bee

I would go, and bring a nice card. NO gift.

Post # 9
Member
2264 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

taraelisabeth:  If she’s your best friend, I would go and just bring something small! You are not expected to spend so much! I’d buy a cute outfit for under $15 or a card and call it a day! Then you can at least go and celebrate with her. I don’t think all the baby showers are necessary, and of course, you can always decline.

Post # 10
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

taraelisabeth:  She basically JUST had a girl?! Its actually pretty lame for her to be foisting another shower on everyone! Bring a stuffed animal and be done with it! 

Post # 11
Member
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard

to be honest, I play it by ear depending on their needs. my friend is about to have baby #2, and I’m getting her a gift because they don’t do super well financially. they need all the help they can get.  sounds like your cousin doesn’t really need anything. I’d bring something she would actually use, like diapers or a token gift like a toy.  side note: I think a shower for baby #3 is pretty obnoxious of her MIL to throw. 

Post # 12
Member
9532 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you want to go, then go and get a inexpensive present. When I went to my best friend’s second baby shower I got her several kids books from the used book store. I think I spent $20, max, but I know she appreciated it. Relationships change and it’s perfectly acceptable for spending habits to change along with the relationship and the situation.

Post # 13
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I would just send a card, most likely.  

Post # 14
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

If you attend the shower, then get her a small gift, like a onesie on clearance, as suggested by another poster. If you don’t plan on attending, then just send a card. 

Post # 15
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I personally wouldn’t give her another gift.  It’s crazy and gift grabby to have a shower for a third child.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors