Post # 1
I live in an apartment building. A few months ago a new couple moved in next door, their main living area shares a wall with our bedroom and bathroom. They’re younger, I would say early to mid twenties. They also recently got a dog.
In the past month, they’ve been arguing, a lot. It’s LOUD, like really loud. Over the weekend I almost called the police, I was starting to get worried for someones safety it was that intense (granted I can’t hear the whole conversation, but what I could hear didn’t sound good). As I was thinking I should make a call I heard one of them storm out of the unit and down the stairs so I did nothing.
I know if I told FH I was going to call the cops he would tell me to mind my own business (his mom is a busybody and it’s gotten her in trouble more than once).
What do you think? When is it appropriate to get involved and call the police. How do you know if it’s a normal couples spat or something to be worried about? It’s not the noise that worries me, it’s the fighting.
Post # 3
If things were getting really loud and out of hand I will call the police.
If there isn’t actually any abuse/violence going on then they will learn to quiet down, if there is abuse then it will be a very good thing you called.
Post # 4
I think if there is a legitimate threat of danger then you should call. I probably wouldn’t call over a couples spat though unless there were serious threats being made or physical abuse taking place. Some people just have crazy fights.
Post # 5
@MsGinkgo: hmmm…that’s a tough situation. What you might be able to do is call the police precinct and let them know your concerns. They might be able to give you some advice on handling the situation.
If it was just arguing I’d say leave it, but because you seem concerned about maybe violence/physical fighting, it worries me and makes me think a call to the police for advice might be a good thing. Good luck 🙂
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Our old roommates used to fight loudly quite often. We stayed out of it because we didn’t want to get involved. However, if at any time I was concerned for one or both person’s physical safety, I would call the police to report it.
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
Unless I heard screaming like she was actually being physically hurt, I wouldn’t call the police.
Post # 8
@adoc86: i couldn’t hear any indication of actual violence, but i’m also concerned because I know how quickly something could escalate.
@MrsHalpert: that’s a good suggestion, thanks.
Post # 9
@MsGinkgo: Call. I’ve been on the other end (there was abuse involved) and the cops showing up was the best thing that could’ve happened since I was unable to call myself and wasn’t allowed to leave. I agree with PP that even if it isn’t an abusive situation it will at least teach that they cannot be that loud/disrespectful to everyone around them. I would also double check to see what the laws in your state are – I know some states if there is a domestic disturbance call, they have to remove someone from the home legally.
Post # 10
I don’t really hesitate to call the cops.
I have had my unpleasant share of dealing with loud parties, loud neighbors or argumentative couples and at this point I’m over it. If the cops show up and nothing wrong is occuring then they just leave hopefully with the people getting the point that their neighbors are less than thrilled.
Post # 11
@MsGinkgo: If you aren’t worried about the noise I wouldn’t call unless you clearly heard a threat or hitting.
Post # 12
@MsGinkgo: I’d suggest better safe than sorry. As someone who has been in an abusive situation I would have been horrified if the cops were called but it probably would have put him in check. I have been in the unfortunate situation of even having the phone in my pocket but not able to dial covertly for help and too scared to do it in front of him :/ I couldn’t leave either because he was blocking me. I was hoping someone would come to the door 🙁
Post # 13
@MsGinkgo: I’d follow your instinct. If your gut tells you to call the cops, do it!!
Post # 15
@MsGinkgo: I’d say call. Abusive situations are hard to get out of. When I was in one I couldn’t call the police even when he wasn’t around. If you call the police & someone needs help you would have done them a great favor. My greatest hope is that the police know how to get the true story & help the victim out. EDIT: I am sure the neighbors heard the shouting but no help ever came. 🙁
Post # 16
If the fighting is really intense, I’d call, personally. And here’s why (the short version):
We had terribly loud downstairs neighbors. I’ve never heard this kind of fighting before. Like you, it wasn’t so much the noise (well, sometimes it was — the screaming was all hours of the day), but the fear of what may be happening down there. We mentioned it to our complex management several times, but we were never sure when to go ahead and call the police.
In retrospect, I really wish I had. We found out recently that the man downstairs was not only screaming at his wife, but hitting her as well. We couldn’t hear the hitting. She never cried out in pain. We just heard him yelling.
I was heartsick when I found out (and still am). I wished I’d called. Maybe I could have prevented some of her pain.