(Closed) When is it too late to invite guests?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: When is the latest you would send 2nd/3rd Round invites?
    You should not Send 2nd Rounds because it is rude : (2 votes)
    25 %
    5-6 weeks : (1 votes)
    13 %
    3-4 Weeks : (3 votes)
    38 %
    1-2 Weeks if you give them a personal phone call explaining the situation : (2 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    335 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Honestly, I feel the first response is the proper one, but because I did #4, I voted for it.  I sent 1st round 8 weeks out, I sent 2nd round 6 weeks out, and I’ve actually been calling people at 1-2 weeks prior since some of my family has backed out.  I have mixed feelings about this.  As many brides will tell you, its an awkward conversation on the right way to tell someone “you weren’t my first pick, but now that there’s space, you’re invited!”  But while it’s been a little awkward for me to make the call, most recipients have been really happy to get the call (or they fake it well).  And if someone is offended, well, that reaffirms for me why they were 3rd round. 

    I’ve just explained that we were constrained to a limited guest list, some family is now unable to attend, I know it’s short notice but would love for them to attend if they can.  I just thought about this today, wondering if these third rounders think I’m gift mongering, but I’m calling them because I feel they are special and I’d prefer to sound a little tacky and include them than to have empty seats when I think they would really enjoy themselves. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    916 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @misssweet: Good call about the second set of RSVP cards.  I wish I had done this.  I am struggling with my second round of invites as we speak.  It’s almost 6.5 weeks to our wedding, and I’m giving people a 2 week deadline.  I hope that’s enough.

    For you, I would set the first deadline on the early side (maybe 2 months out) that you have ample time to follow up with the stragglers.  Then have a second deadline at least few weeks out, if possible.  That way you don’t have to worry about explaining the situation the your second wave of people.

    Post # 4
    Member
    335 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    one addition: just got off the phone with my mom.  she sent a ‘final round’ invite to one of my old teachers who lives FIVE HOURS AWAY!  his response “thank you so much for thinking of me.  I wouldn’t miss it.  I’ll be there with bells on.”  I haven’t seen him in 8 years and he’s driving 5 hours to celebrate with us.  Point of my story is it depends on the audience for your invite add ons.  the right people will appreciate the call…even if you break etiquette. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    916 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @angeebride: I second your last statement!  I was afraid my wave 2 people would be offended, but they were all actually still very excited to get an invite.  People understand.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

    I have a B list, and I’ll just redo RSVP cards and send the same invite out a month to 6 weeks prior to the wedding (first round is going out on the 25th this month). I DIYed our invites, though, so it’s not hard to reprint and redo the by date for a second round. Our venue needs a final count a week before our date. No one will know they were on the B list unless we specifically tell them (which we won’t).

    The topic ‘When is it too late to invite guests?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors