Post # 1
I’m on here pretty much every day posting about my wedding planning and reading about other bees’ planning and this morning as I was sitting here browsing, something hit me that I feel compelled to share with all of you. Personally, I’ve posted about my dilemma with my MOH not being as involved as I had anticipated, my difficulty finding a band to match my e-ring, among other “problems” that I’ve run into during the planning process. This also seems to be a common theme among many of us brides-to-be, although I love that we are a community of brides who are so gracious and willing to help one another through our struggles. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that that’s all anyone does on here, because there are a lot of fun and exciting threads as well. I guess the thing that really resonated with me this morning is that (for me personally, anyway) when the planning is over and the wedding has come to an end and all of our wonderful friends and family have left, it will be just me and the man that I love left standing. We will finally be husband and wife and we get to spend the rest of our lives loving each other and discovering new things about one another and growing together. Isn’t this the most important thing? Isn’t this what this whole big shabang is all about in the first place?! It’s not about whether the font is just perfect on my invitations or that centerpiece flows well with the wedding theme or that the DJ doesn’t play the Macarena :o) Not that those details aren’t worth paying attention to, I just think that during the all of the mayhem involved in wedding planning, we run the risk of losing focus of what we’re actually doing!
When I look back at my wedding day years from now, am I really going to care that my sister didn’t help assemble my invitations? Will I really remember the songs that the DJ played? I guess my purpose in posting this is to just encourage all of you to remember the reason that you’re doing all of this planning. You have found the person that you love more than any other person on this planet! You have chosen that person to be the one to share your life with until you breathe your last breath! And what I sometimes find amazing is that he feels the same about ME! I’m sure I drive him bonkers from time to time, but he loves me so much that he wants me to be his forever! Just reflect on that for a second. Even if you jump right back into the crazy busyness of your planning, just stop your world for a minute and cherish that thought. You have found the love of your life and he has found you! Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn’t it?!
Personally, this epiphany makes me want to love on my man a little extra today :o)
Post # 3
SO and I talk about when we get married all the time. This will be my 2nd, his first. Neither one of us want a big wedding. We want a simple outdoor wedding. Our kids, immediate family – then invite friends and family somewhere for a huge, casual party and just have fun all night. And not spend money, not deal with intense planning. We want to be together. We don’t have the need to share our vows with EVERYONE. who needs to show off a “first dance”, or have people stare at us while we feed each other a piece of cake. Who wants to sit and choose a menu for over 100 guests, to who the majority of them are probably picky and won’t eat half of the food we purchase anyways and will get wasted?
That’s how the 2 of us see it. The day will be about us, reflect on us and what we want to do. Have fun, have a party. That whole wedding thing, it’s not us at all. Yeah, I photograph weddings on a monthly basis..I see it, I don’t want to do it. I, personally, think a lot of the events b&g’s do at weddings, are tacky and a waste of money. that’s my opinion.
Post # 4
🙂 Very true!!
This is part of the reason why we eloped. We wanted a raw version where none of the other crap would get in the way of what was most important – that we loved each other and couldn’t wait to be married.
Post # 5
I totally agree, it’s easy for bees to get stressed out about all the little details, but at the end of the day, it should really just be a fun party with friends and family. At least that’s how FI and I see it. I’m lucky though, I haven’t really had too many “problems” arise and I have a helpful, involved groom. I am really grateful for the bee as well, it’s a great place to get ideas, second opinions, and feedback.
Post # 6
I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way :o) Don’t get me wrong, I want the beautiful wedding and reception, but I’m not going to throw a major fit if things aren’t exactly perfect. We all know that’s nearly impossible anyway! I know that no matter what happens, it will be wonderful, and as long as at the end of that day, I’m married to my best friend, then it was a success!
Post # 8
Aww I love that! Totally stealing it :o)
Post # 9
@SweetMelissa429: Great epiphany! It is such a true statement! Everyone should take a moment to appreciate where they are in life!
Post # 10
I found this really beautiful thank you message for the back of our programs, and what sold me on using it was this line:
“Many years from now, when we look back on our life, love, and this day, we will remember that flowers, music, and food were not what made this day so special. It will be our memories of sharing the beginning of our life as husband and wife with you – Our friends and family.”
Post # 11
@SweetMelissa429: What really matters to me is that 50 years from now me and my FI can see ourselves sitting in some rockers on front porch talking about “kids these days” lmao cheesy i know
Post # 12
One of the things that resonated with me while I was planning and reading A Practical Wedding is the line “You will not remember how your wedding day looked. You will remember how it felt.“
I sometimes talk about little things that I would have done differently or that went wrong…my dress didn’t fit exactly right, we ended up without a cake topper, we got the wrong napkins, so on…but it really is true that when I think about my wedding day, I think about how it felt first. I’m worried people will think I sound like I’m complaining when I post about those kind of things, but really I’m thinking analytically when I post about minutae and details instead of explaining how I really experienced my wedding day.
Post # 13
@SweetMelissa429: I completely agree.
No big event here. Just a very small intimate affair. 10 invited guests, all of them family.
I just want the important people there to share the day with. No gifts, no dancing (except our dance), no DJ, no looming bills after the fact.
While I do have the stressors of any bride, I have managed to keep it real. My honey and I talk about what WE want. And what OUR memories will be. And so what if it is not perfect, thats what will make it special.
Thanks for your perspective. Because in the end, being with that one you love for the remainder of your days is what is most important.
Post # 14
Im glad you posted this. These past few days I have been really close to closing my account on the Bee. I just cant believe the amount of self centeredness I see on here and I feel like it’s getting worse.
The Me me me! I see here every day makes me so sad and I completely understand why some people dislike brides.
BUT there is hope when I see sweet posts like yours. We just want a picnic under the trees with the people we love. I don’t need to be the centre of attention. I’m not going to chuck a hissy fit if someone is wearing cream. I would love it if my bridesmaid is pregnant and I don’t give a shit if your ring is a Moissy or a Diamond. Its just not about those things. Its about marrying the man (or woman) you love and celebrating how awesome that is.
Post # 15
I’m really glad this got bumped, not only because it has helped others, but it has actually helped me today, as well! I had a brief freak out moment this week when I realized that we’re only 72 days away from the big day and there is still SO much to be done! Even though our wedding is going to be relatively small and intimate, there are still a lot of details that need to be taken care of. This was a gentle reminder to take a step back and remember what I’m actually doing…thanks, ladies! I actually just sent FH a sweet text because of this! 🙂
@littlemisst08: I love that! So very true 🙂
@mariegerbasi: Not cheesy at all…that’s where this journey ultimately leads us to, so I think that’s sweet to look forward to that! Your date is coming up soon, too!
@FauxBoho: I’m not going to chuck a hissy fit if someone is wearing cream. I would love it if my bridesmaid is pregnant and I don’t give a shit if your ring is a Moissy or a Diamond. This made me laugh out loud! So true! Stick it out with the bees…it’s definitely a motley crew, but who else can really understand exactly what we’re going through other than a community of brides?! 🙂
Post # 16
I would hug all you girls on this thread! I haven’t had some of the major problems that girls have as of now with wedding planning. However, the little things that pop up seem so big at the time. It is always good to be reminded what this is all about. We are having a small wedding with our close family and friends (some family I haven’t seen in decades are coming and it makes me so happy). I am lucky to not have a big brekdown in wedding planning. I am so happy to see all of my family and friends as well as marry my best friend in 7 months.
Cheers to all you lovely bees who can accept whatever wedding planning brings and have a dream wedding with the man or woman you love 🙂