(Closed) When Men Marry B*tches

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Men are funny like that. As soon as I stopped wanting cuddle or talk time and start doing my own thing in the evening, he came running around wanting to cuddle and talk. WTF!? lol I have decided as of this morning I won’t mention the engagement thing.

Post # 4
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

sounds like a good read, thanks for the suggestion 🙂

Post # 5
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

Sounds very interesting. I may need to pick that up. Thanks.

Post # 7
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

That sounds great!  I really agree with Mr. Bee’s Three Step Plan.  When I stopped harrassing my husband about getting engaged, he finally created a plan and we did get engaged.

Post # 8
Member
302 posts
Helper bee

I read the first one a while back and LOVE it!

I told myself I’m going to be better at not talking about it, and d***it, I will!! maybe that 2nd book will help that even more! Thanks for the suggestion!

Post # 9
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

@lalalalinzii: I absolutely LOVE this book! The author is my hero, seriously. I have both, but I read the second one all the time lol. Actually, any time I start to feel really antsy about not being engaged, I whip out the book. I’ve even actually bought the ebook version so if I feel like reading it when he’s home, I can read it on my laptop. (I have the physical copy hidden haha…can’t have him find out my secrets!)

There are so many lines I love from this book, and honestly, it gets me really pumped up and feeling great after I read any of it. Even if I just read a chapter. It’s so true – it’s totally Mr. Bee’s Plan. I love it though, because it totally goes along with everything I’ve heard in the past… if you suddenly start acting more independent, not talking about marriage, suddenly appearing as though you’ve changed your mind (ie: asking him about getting engaged tons, and then suddenly stopping out of nowhere)…. THAT’S when he starts to get nervous and suddenly steps up his game.

I’m totally going to read this today while my SO is at work. I’ve been doing a lot of those things lately without even realizing it, actually lol.

 

Post # 10
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

I apologize for the double post (are we allowed to?), but unfortunately I was unable to do an edit. I just wanted to add this:

What it really all comes back to, in my opinion anyway, is the fact that men like to pursue. That’s why when we suddenly pull back a bit, start focusing on ourselves, maybe don’t go over and cuddle as much, that’s when THEY suddenly start wanting to cuddle/talk/spend more time with us. It’s about the chase. My SO fits this to a flippin’ tee, even after 4 years of being together.

Prime example? One day I was at home doing my own thing. My guy was at work. My phone was in another room, and I got busy. I go grab my phone after maybe 2-3 hours and saw that he had texted me like 6 times, and had even tried CALLING ME from work to see if I was okay (it was freakin’ hilarious!). Because normally, I would text back pretty much right away. And of course, that’s when he would take his time texting me back, even if it was dead at work. Actually, I think one part in the book even mentions something similar to this… if they normally can reach you at a certain time, they take that for granted and slack off. But then if they suddenly can’t reach you? They’ll persist and keep trying until they can. I love the psychology aspect behind the book lol, it’s quite entertaining when you think about it.

Post # 12
Member
17 posts
Newbee

@lalalalinzii: Thanks for the recommendation! This is so true. I’ve been thinking lately that I need to pay a little more attention to myself!

I think it’s so important to value yourself, have your own life, and find a place where you feel whole, grown-up, and confident before getting married, and I do think that when you get to that stage, men are really attracted to it and often it contributes to both parties being ready to commit!

I think it’s also important to take books like this with a grain of salt, though. No one book has all the answers or can solve an age-old quandry. Every situation is different. I’ve heard a lot of stories about women getting their men to propose using this book or books like “The Rules,” only to have it backfire because, though they might have loved each other, they weren’t really right for each other to begin with, or he wasn’t ready yet, and that’s why he hadn’t proposed!

I’m still going to read this book, though. I also recommend “He’s Just Not That Into You” and the sequel “It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.” Very funny and true! Just important, I think, not to let these books take the place of common sense, intuition, and your feelings. I made that mistake a couple of times!

Post # 13
Member
443 posts
Helper bee

@lalalalinzii: GREAT book!  I read it a while back and you could not be more on point with recommending it.  Thanks for reminding me to re-read it!:)

Post # 14
Member
3378 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@lalalalinzii: Thanks for the tip!  That book sounds perfect.  I may have to follow some of the ladies on here and get the e-book 🙂

By the way, I can’t get over your name!  My sister-in-law is named Linnzi – such an unusual spelling, and close to yours! (oh, and we try to get our nephew to say her name by saying “La la la linnzi” – too weird).

Post # 15
Member
616 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

This does sound interesting. Thanks for the suggestion :-).

Post # 16
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@lalalalinzii: Also had both of these, and they’re great. If you’re in that section of the bookstore/library anyways, I also recommend Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others.

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