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When normal people get weird during wedding planning

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
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    1.
    Member
    2,098 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    So I have these friends who are getting married. Super awesome people, and I adore them and couldn't be happier about their upcoming wedding. BUT, they've gotten so weird since planning their wedding.

    Like, for example, they keep sending out registry updates to all their FB friends. Like, as in, "Hi! We updated our registry today! Be sure to check it out!" Umm, okay? Not that I'm huge on etiquette or anything, because I think most of it is pretty outdated, but I dunno, it just bothers me!

    There have been a lot of other things, too, which I just don't feel like dishing at the moment, but I was wondering, was anyone else happy to get their real friend back once their wedding was over? :) Umm, I can't wait!

     
    2.
    Member
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    Busy bee
    Cricket1524    September 4, 2010   Burbank, CA

    Maybe they just don't realize the email update is on. I'd be mortified if that was me, maybe you should give them a heads up?

     
    3.
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    Bee Keeper
    oracle    October 23, 2010   Los Angeles

    Yikes!  When you feel ready to share - I'd love to know what other weird things they've been doing - because I hope I'm not doing anything strange to my friends!!! (and seriously random re: registry!!)  

     

     
    4.
    Member
    2,098 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    @cricket: No, they're totally aware because they asked me if I was getting them. Ha! "Okay good, just wanted to make sure!" they said.

    @oracle: Oh my gosh, I'm sure it's nothing you would do. Like, for example, when they first got engaged, she kind of threw a hissy fit at her bridesmaids when they  told her they couldn't afford a trip out to try on bridal dresses with her (they're all in college, poor and the bride lives across the country). Then she got kind of weird with me when I didn't want to travel 1.5 hours EACH WAY to different bridal salons with her. I made one trip that was an hour each way, and because of my busy schedule (I work two jobs), I just couldn't do it because it was like a half-day's excursion (not to mention that I went all over the city with her to four different salons to try on dresses before). She made me feel kind of guilty about not going with her. It's just weird because before wedding planning, she was totally normal and laid back!

    But I'm almost positive once this is over, she'll be back to normal.

     
    5.
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    203 posts
    Helper bee
    Lauren1018    May 28, 2011   Mass

    She actually wanted to make sure you got the updates?? That's so strange... I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe she thinks she picked out really cool things and wants you to see them, but I really don't think that's the case.

    About the dress shopping... you don't have to be there every single time, no need. It was nice of you to have went before.

    She'll be back to normal, don't worry. Maybe you can tell her that she seems stressed and you should have a "wedding free" girls night? That way you can have at least a glimpse of her back!! :-)

     
    6.
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    Buzzing bee
    skibobrown    July 31, 2010   CA (wedding in Bar Harbor, ME)

    So weird!  That's great that you're rolling w/ the punches though and realize that she'll probably go back to normal afterwards, rather than getting into some giant fight over this stuff.  Weddings make some people go loopy in the head. 

     
    7.
    Member
    2,098 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    What I find really strange is that they don't send updates about other important parts of their wedding, like times and venues - that stuff I would be happy to receive. They only send registry updates.

    @lauren1018: Good idea about the "no wedding girl's night!"

    @skibobrown: Yeah, I'm just seriously going with the flow. I remember how stressful it was planning, and I know some people just handle it differently. But yeah, I still can't help but be peeved at some things :)

     

     
    8.
    Member
    2,411 posts
    Buzzing bee
    vintage2010    April 10, 2010  

    I agree the registry thing is just really odd. When I first read it I thought oh they don't know that the two websites are linked.  I had that happen to us on Facebook a couple years ago. I started a knot account for my SIL (she asked me to) and it showed up on my status updates as I created a knot account. My boyfriend (my hubby now) was freaked out because we had just started talking wedding!  But now after reading your reply... that is just plain weird. 

    As for the other stuff, yep I've had a bride act that way about the dress shopping. Just go with it and it will get back to normal.

     
    9.
    Member
    387 posts
    Helper bee
    Pwitty    August 6, 2011   Michigan

    A friend of mine started acting really weird & horrible right after she got engaged. She would lash out if anyone reminded her that her fiance was part of the wedding too or that the guests mattered at all, but she would always get mad and go on a "IT'S MY DAY" tangent, so we all tried to let it go and not take it personally thinking that things would go back to normal after the wedding.

    Unfortunately, that did not happen at all - She's continued to get worse and worse to the point where she has lost her closest friends (including myself) because it's not fun to be around someone who tries to insult everything about you (school, spirituality, relationship, etc) or is constantly competing with you. I've been debating for a long time whether I should try to explain why our friendship fell apart, but I don't think she would listen and would try to blame me somehow.

    Sorry to rant here. The best I can tell you is try to be supportive now and hope for the best. (Hopefully she'll be just as understanding if you get a little nutty as the big day approaches!) Depending on how close you are with her/how you think she would react, you might consider very gently talking to her about some of the stuff (maybe try to say that some people might think its strange to post those kind of updates on FB, but not necessarily say you were offended). Its a very touchy area though, so tread lightly.

    Good Luck!

     
    10.
    1,151 posts
    Bumble bee
    shaydenise    October 30, 2010  

    Yeah that registry thing is so rude!  I really hope that was an accident - though if it were a status update I doubt it was an accident.  I would intentionally buy them a useless gift that wasn't on the registry lol

     

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