- 5 years ago
Hi everyone! It has been awhile since I have posted here… I love being married, but we are facing challenges from some outside sources during the last few months. Right before we got engaged a couple of years ago, my husband got laid off from his job. We knew it wasn’t totally out of the question, so it wasn’t a complete surprise, but since we were prepared for the possibility we thought we would be well-prepared and that he would find a new job. Well, we were well-prepared because we were still able to save money on one salary, while supporting ourselves (we already lived together when we got engaged) and pay for our whole wedding! Sometimes, I don’t give us enough credit for that. However, my husband never was able to get another job – just week-long assignments that he found through friends here and there, but nothing permanent. After our wedding, he finally found a permanent job and we were so happy. We were totally expecting this to be somewhere he could stay for a long time, because that’s what the company made it sound like…until a few months later they laid him off, totally unexpectedly and without any notice or reason. Without working under a contract, there was nothing we could do about it.
Now, on the outside this seems fine because I have a permanent job and I make decent money for what I do. But the problem is…I HATE my job. It makes me miserable, my boss is demeaning, and my co-workers are bullies. It is not going to lead to any kind of career so I can’t even say that it is an investment in my future career. It is at the point where I get nauseous when I pull into the parking lot every day and have severe anxiety about going to work. It has even been the breaking point in me finally going to therapy – I have had long-term anxiety since I was a teenager – but a severe blow to my confidence and self-worth due to comments made by my boss drove me there. On the outside it seems fine because my therapist has helped me to act positive at work to make it feel better…but in reality, I can’t live with it much longer. Since I’ve been there, I’ve gotten a M.S. degree and done a lot to enrich my education and experiences, and still can’t find another job.
Oh, and the same month my husband got laid off – btw, he has reached the limit on his unemployment insurance – our landlord raised our rent.
It has been REALLY tough on us but we are staying strong together and realizing that as long as we have each other, we are thankful for everything we have. But with both of us going on interview after interview with no luck, the job outlook is starting to feel hopeles and sometimes we just want to start over someplace where the cost of living is more affordable. We could move about an hour and a half away and live in an area where an apartment like ours would be nearly half the cost. Realistically, with our savings, we could probably only survive on it for a few months before running out of money.
I’m just wondering if any other newlyweds are going through anything like this. I feel like picking up, moving somewhere new, and trying to start over is not a responsible thing to do for two newly-married adults…it’s something kids do straight out of college. But at the same time, I feel like we are too young to be brought down by this kind of struggle, when we could go somewhere new to make things a little easier for the cost of living, and feeling like we have a new beginning. I’m afraid that me having to work at this soul-sucking job for much longer might change me from being so depressed and negatively affect our relationship. It hasn’t made me resentful, because I know he would do the same for me – but he can’t stand to see me so depressed either.
What do you think? Any advice?