Weddingbee boards

Rude!

I don't know, without actually knowing either of you, it's hard to have an opinion on whether he was joking or serious. I hope he was joking though.

Maybe he doesn't want to look at rings with you, maybe he wants to pick one out on his own?? Could that have been what he meant? My partner does not want my input into him buying my ring at all, it sounds like something he'd say!

 We're age twins, and we're BOTH too old for this sh*t right?  Let the boy have his toys and find yourself a mature man who you don't need to keep an eye on.

Dude, you know what you should be doing.

And if you do want to give him a chance, then you schedule in a talk in advance.  "We are going to sit down on Friday night and discuss this".  That way he has an out if he doesn't want to, and you have a reason to leave - or he has a chance to turn up in his big boy pants.

Sorry if that was harsh. :o

Actually, reading your previous posts, it sounds like you have had this conversation already (a few times).  And you didn't get the answers you wanted.  So why are you still with him?

 I think you are caught in a cycle of dependency and won't let go.  I'm really sorry that this is happening and it must be painful. :(  You have to rip that band-aid off...

Maybe this is going to sound harsh, but, why are you even talking about rings at this point?  Your previous posts are all about wanting to leave, but having to stay because of your financial situation. You use words like "hate" and "disgust" when talking about him... and it seemed from your last post that you two were together, because you couldn't afford to be without him, not because you actually enjoy being with him anymore.

You'd probably both be happier if you stopped talking about getting married, and just tried to get back on your on feet so that you can get out of this.  Just my two cents.

I'm on DreamingBee's side and the other's posters.  It doesn't seem like he's really truly on the same page or timeline with you. 

-I think Picturemeurs suggestion of a conversation is a really good way to start things.

-Good Luck!

Wow, not cool. I understand where you are and please don't take this as anything against you, but this is why I am against living together before engagement! Guys are idiots and if they can have their cake and eat it too, why would they change anything???? There are a couple things you can do and a few problems that I see. First of all, you are bringing up the marriage thing probably fairly often (do not blame you one single bit!) but that is going to turn him off to it even more. Let him think you don't care. Just be like, if you don't want to commit to me, that's fine. That just means I'm not going to be 100% committed to you either. Now I'm not saying to play mind games and I'm DEFINITELY not saying to cheat on him. He just needs to understand that you get what you give. You could leave at any point. I don't think he gets that because he knows you won't. If you keep things as they are, he has no reason to change. The best thing to do would be to let him know that you love living with him but you want to get married at some point in your life because it is important to you to have a marriage, and that if he can't give that to you then you need to take a step back and re-evaluate. He already has you acting like his wife because you're living with him and doing all the wifely things I'm sure, but he doesn't have to make the commitment...why would he? Not sure if any of this makes any sense at all but all you can change is you. You cannot make him want to marry you. He has to want that on his own. I promise you if you are a secure girl and don't talk to him about marriage but let him know that it's not just you not getting the commitment from him, without it, he doesn't get that commitment from you either. Go out with your friends and say something about guys looking at you and hitting on you and that that wouldn't happen if you had a ring and see what happens!! haha jk about that last part!