(Closed) When should families meet?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My dad had met FI’s mom for about a minute once, but it wasn’t really planned. Our families live in different states so they didn’t meet til the engagement.

Post # 4
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think there’s a “should meet” time in my mind.  Our parents met for dinner shortly after we were engaged, after us being together for just over two years.  At that point they knew they would be family and wanted to meet.

Post # 5
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@dontstopbeelievin:  Once we were engaged my dad met my FI’s family to start planning. My mom and stepdad had met them several times over the 2 years because we host so many different things at our house. It was never a planned meeting, if you want them to meet just plan a dinner at your house. Other than that I don’t think there is a right time to meet. Let it just happen 🙂

Post # 6
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ours met after we got engaged. Don’t really see the need to go out of your way for them to meet before that.

Post # 7
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it depends on where they’re located. If your families are all local then there’s really no reason why they shouldn’t have met by this point but if they’re scattered across the country, it’s understandable. 

Our families are only about a half hour from each other so they met a few months into our dating. Even before we were engaged, my family was invited to DH’s sides events and vice versa. 

Post # 8
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Our families met at the wedding and unless we have kids, I seriously doubt they’ll meet again. I think think it’s totally normal for them not to meet until your engaged. Remember that the only thing your families really have in common is the two of you, so they really don’t have to become BFFs or get along super well.

Post # 9
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I knew Fi’s brother first, and he met two of my brothers just from hanging out. We both met each others parents. Our parents didn’t meet until we got engaged. I think depending on location and time, and how important it to you should dictate when the meet. I know plenty of people parents who didn’t meet until the wedding.

Post # 10
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My family have yet to meet FI’s family, it will happen when it happens.

Post # 11
Member
4322 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We started dating very young (i.e., before I had a driver’s license), so our parents have known each other for years.  It’s kind of weird, actually, to know that your mothers are having a lunch date or something.

If you’re not from the same area, it makes sense not to meet until engaged. Think about your paternal and maternal grandparents – they probably didn’t really “know” each other.  (Unless your parents are both from the same small town, I guess.)

Post # 12
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Our parents didn’t officially meet until the rehearsal dinner. We had Skyped previous to that so they could see each other, but the distance kind of prohibited a formal meeting before that. DH’s parents live in town with us, but my parents are halfway across the country. I will add that there is a cultural element here to consider. I never thought about that until the week of our wedding. then DH’s parents were a little hurt that my parents didn’t offer to come over to the house to help out earlier (we got married at DH’s parents’ home). Apparently, their culture really looks at the two families as blending together so it was really an important thing for them to meet my parents.

On the other hand, my family doesn’t hold the same views. DH was the oldest in his family and the first to get married. My parents have already done the whole wedding and in-laws thing a few times and have 6 grandchildren. The only time they have really seen the other side of the family is at special events like birthdays or the occasional sports game or recital for the kids. So to them, it wasn’t such a big deal to meet DH’s family. We ended up having to talk to both of our families to reach a compromise. DH explained my family’s views to his parents and I explained the importance his family put on it to mine. When they did get together, it seemed to go really well, and I think both sides have compromised and found a little bit of middle ground.

 

 

Post # 13
Member
10563 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I agree, there’s no set time.  I think it’s nice if parents can meet shortly after the engagement, if they haven’t already met.

Ours met at a university graduation years before we were engaged, we went out for dinner after convocation.

Post # 14
Member
2590 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

FH’s stepmom met my mom at the bridal shower for the first time a few weeks ago & FH’s mom & sister met my family when they were out here visiting a couple years ago.  Neither of us (or our parents) find it abnormal.

It just so happens that the guys haven’t met yet, ironically haha.

Post # 15
Member
646 posts
Busy bee

SO and I have meet eachothers parents, but the families havent meet. Parents live in separate states so kinda hard. I dont think its necassary to have them meet until youre engaged.

Post # 16
Member
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My parents and his parents will probably meet for the first time at the rehearsal for the wedding!  My parents live in Northern California, my FI’s parents live in Southern California.  They met briefly over Skype once, but in person, never.

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