(Closed) When should I ask my bridesmaids? FSIL's

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would do it now, what’s the advantage of waiting? Let the excitement commence!

Post # 4
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would hold off… people change, relationships change, and unfortunately weddings do tend to bring out the worst in people.  Even the best relationships are tested & tried with all the stress of wedding planning.

Obviously, don’t wait TOOO long… you’ll want a good 8-9 months to select BM dresses, allow time for the to arrive, and of course allow time for alterations.

Inevitably, people will ask you a million and one details about your wedding.  I had a LONG engagement- 2 years actually- and I was faced with many questions from the very beginning.  Just say that you’re taking this time to enjoy being engaged, and that you plan to hold off on making any firm decisions for a little while. 

Post # 5
Member
2213 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Your FMIL and FFIL already know you’re planning on asking your FSILs to be in your wedding party.  Even if they are keeping quiet until you ask, you can’t not ask them to be in your wedding party without there being some questions. I’m not saying you’re entirely stuck, but the cat is already half out of the bag.

So, I’d say ask away and let them be stoked that you want them to be right beside you for you and their brother’s special day!  🙂

Congrats!

Post # 6
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

i am getting married the week after you and my bridesmaids have known for months.  I have different feelings than everyone else on this (I really hope everything works out for me).  We have a long engagement and my bridal party was one of the first things I did.  Maybe I should have waited but they’re my 3 best friends and my 2 FSIL’s they were all thrilled and have been able to help me along the way as I am already planning.  I think it depends on how you feel and how well you know the girls – being their your FSIL’s I don’t think you’re going to change your mind about including them.  I say ask away 🙂

Post # 7
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Our wedding is July 6th, 2013 and I started asking the MOH’s (I have 2) last Christmas (2011)… and then carried on with the rest of the girls throughout the spring/summer of 2012 doing each one individually giving them atleast a year in advance to know about it. This is mainly because we had such a long engagement and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. LOL.

Post # 8
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I asked mine a couple of weeks after getting engaged. Two of them will have to fly 5-6 hours so I thought the sooner, the better!

Post # 9
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

I would say since their parents already know, you should go ahead and ask them now, even though it is very early.  If they hadn’t known, I would say to hold off on asking them, since people and relationships do change over time and your wedding date is so far along the road.

Post # 10
Member
8697 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

You can ask them whenever you feel like it. My bridesmaids knew from day one. We have all been friends for years/decades and one is my sister so no issues over here.

Post # 12
Member
1347 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I would hold off, even if it’s family. Relationships change, even with family. I’m in a wedding and the bride asked all the girls over a year before her wedding. Now she regrets asking one of her girls.

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