Post # 1
How far in advance do I have to have all of my members of the bridal party figured out? I want to hold of a little while because I am unsure about having cousins or friends and the number and such. I want to be 100% sure before I ask! But how long do I have to be in limbo.. My wedding is May 2014.
How far out from your wedding did you ask your bridal party?
And I told FH to ask his best man as I am going to ask my maid of honor now. But he says it’s too far in advance and he will eventually. I’m worried hes going to wait until the last minute. Does he have the same time restrictions as me asking my ladies does?
Post # 3
@Jennybenny16: I asked my BMs pretty soon after setting a wedding date, because the engagement was only six months long. I, however, already had in mind two definites, and the third one I thought about for a few days before asking.
The difference, in my opinion, between asking BM and asking GM is that you have to factor in dress shopping, the wait period while they come in, and then any alterations that will need to be done, unless you are going to custom make or order dresses for your girls. Guys, on the other hand, don’t have to wait near as long for their tux or suit, and their measurements are taken right then and there, and most places include all the pieces of their outfit (ie, no need to shop for shoes, ties, and so forth).
I’d ask as soon as you figure out who you want, so they can make sure that they can make the obligation to be in your wedding party. If someone has to travel a great distance, they’ll want to make arrangements earlier instead of later, and to make sure to have time off of work, etc.
Post # 4
I asked mine right after we got engaged, so 18 months in advance. Two were very obvious, but I also asked a third. I kinda question whether I should have asked the third, so maybe I should have waited a bit. Oh well.
Post # 5
I think you can wait until 6 months before and be okay, if you think they will be ready/willing to jump into action then. BM dresses don’t take as long as other dresses.
Post # 6
I think guys are different. I asked my BM a year before my wedding. It is in advance, but I like it because we are taking our time with deciding on like dresses and shoes and a bunch of other little things. I am the type that loves to get a head start on everything and not be rushed with things so I think it was perfect when I asked them! Good Luck!
Post # 7
The rule of thumb is to ask the wedding party about 6-9 months prior to the wedding. People change, relationships change, and weddings have a tendancy to bring out the crazy in everyone- better to wait and avoid drama or regret.
Post # 8
I am also getting married in May 2014 and I plan on asking people to be bridesmaids next month.
Post # 9
The first time I was a bridesmaid I was asked right after they got engaged. They were engaged for 2.5 years and she told me many times during the planning that she wished she would have waited. There were a couple girls she asked that I know she changed her mind about.
I have since been asked to be in wedding parties two other time. The first was literally an hour after he proposed. She too, has told me she has regrets about one of the girls (but I think she will feel differently on the big day).
The third time was my cousin, she waited almost 11 months to ask me, but the wedding is still a year off. Haven’t seen anything wrong with it. I think her sister was stressed out, worried that she wouldn’t be asked. But for me, it was a delightful surprise.