When should I send out invitations?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1424 posts
Bumble bee

Wow, that is complicated, a mid-week wedding with an hour and a half drive.  People might not want to stay overnight anyway since its mid-week, but then you have the long drive.  Did you send the accomodations info with the save the date?  Or have a wedding website listed on the save the date that explains the accomodations must be booked long in advance?  I know that I would mark my calendar but wouldn’t really know if I could take off mid-week for a wedding until closer to the wedding even if it was someone I’m pretty close with.

Post # 3
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee

even considering a mid week wedding thats over an hour away, i think you’re doing things too far in advance. A save the date is normally sent 9 months to one year before and the invitations get sent 2-3 months before if youve sent save the dates already, or 3-4 months MAX if you didnt. It might sound harsh but unless your wedding date is fresh on peoples minds, they may forget and then realize 3 months before when they get the invitation that they completely forgot and have made other plans. I sent my STDs  7 months before bc we got engaged 8 months before the wedding and then sent the invitations on aug 7th for our wedding on oct 12

Post # 6
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Our Castle

CarlyPalmer:  Accomodation Package sent early!.

Post # 7
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

If you send invitations before the 3 -4 month marker you will not be getting accurate answers. <br />People will get pregnant and not be able to travel, will lose their jobs and won’t be able to afford it, people will die (sorry it’s morbid, but true).  No one knows what their work schedule will be, or if they can commit to a weekday wedding almost 2 years in the future. 

No one is going to book a hotel for a wedding in two years now.  If you are really worried, can you not book out the rooms you think you will need and have the hotel then charge their cards when they call to book.  Of course if this doesn’t work you would end up with many rooms on your charge card.

Having a weekday wedding will probably mean a higher then average decline rate.  So if you decide to go the pre-booking route, take this into consideration.

The shuttle to town seems like a better option.  Even if some guests will be able to commit this far out, MANY will not, and if the rooms get booked up they will still end up in town, so the shuttle will still be needed.

Post # 9
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

CarlyPalmer:  An email with accomodations info would be great! You don’t need to post another package. Send an email and then ask your parents to help remind people to book early!

Post # 10
Member
11722 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If I got a save the date for a 2016 wedding right now, I’d think it was a typo.  It’s absurdly early to send a save the date 18 months in advance. 

You should send your invitations no more than 10 weeks prior to the event. 

Post # 11
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

I agree.  I think STDs should arrive 6 – max 9 months in advance and invitations 2 – max 3 months in advance.  Think from the perspective of a guest, any guest – your wedding is important, but not as important as it is to you, that’s the unfortunate truth.  If I received a STD more than 6-9 months in advance or an invitation more that 2-3 months in advance, I would likey dismiss it (because it’s too early for me to record in my mind) and then forget about it because no timely reminder arrived thereafter. 

There is no way that I would book a hotel room until I RSVPed affirmatively.  What if the invitation doesn’t come because the couple changes their mind about inviting me?  What if the hotel changes ownership or goes out of business?  What if my life circumstances change materially, as others have said?  What if I we are no longer friends in 2 years?

I think you can send an accomodation pack, but I personally wouldn’t do anything about it until the later of receiving the invitation or max 3-4 months before the wedding.

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