Post # 1
I’m having a little dilemma about invitations. My FI and I booked our venue in May this year for a March 2016 wedding, we agreed to send out our STD’s as soon as possible because we’re having a mid-week wedding and wanted to give people PLENTY of notice. I wrote out mine and sent them out over a month ago but my FI is a little unorganised if I’m not constantly nagging him so he hasn’t done his yet. He’s promised me he’ll do them this week, but that’s not really the issue.
Our venue is about an hour and a half’s drive away from where we (and all of our guests) live, the furthest away anyone we’ve invited lives is an hour in the opposite direction but she is my MOH and I’ll be providing accomodation for her the night before the wedding, so we don’t really have any ‘out of town’ guests. We’re including an accomodation list with recomended hotels from a range of budgets in with the invites because we want to give everyone plenty of time to get accomodation booked.
Most of the hotels we’ve been recomended have a small number of rooms because of how little the town is. There’s a few cottages that sleep 2 – 8 people each but they seem almost entirely sold out for all of 2015, so I feel like 2016 will be difficult to book for if we wait too long to make arrangements. The other option is to book in the nearest city, but it’s a 40 minute drive away through country roads (I live in the UK) and I was worried that might bother people/make it difficult to get back to after the wedding,
I’ve heard that you’re supposed to send invites out about 3 months before the wedding but that doesn’t feel like long enough considering everything. I would really love our guests to be able to get accomodation in the area around the venue to save hassle for everyone, so should I send my invites out earlier, say just under a year in advance, or send them out at the normal 3 – 4 months beforehand and send out separate accomodation packs ahead of time instead? I just thought that the latter might seem strange from a guests point of view so opinions would be appreciated.
This topic was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by CarlyPalmer.
This topic was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by CarlyPalmer.
Post # 2
Wow, that is complicated, a mid-week wedding with an hour and a half drive. People might not want to stay overnight anyway since its mid-week, but then you have the long drive. Did you send the accomodations info with the save the date? Or have a wedding website listed on the save the date that explains the accomodations must be booked long in advance? I know that I would mark my calendar but wouldn’t really know if I could take off mid-week for a wedding until closer to the wedding even if it was someone I’m pretty close with.
Post # 3
even considering a mid week wedding thats over an hour away, i think you’re doing things too far in advance. A save the date is normally sent 9 months to one year before and the invitations get sent 2-3 months before if youve sent save the dates already, or 3-4 months MAX if you didnt. It might sound harsh but unless your wedding date is fresh on peoples minds, they may forget and then realize 3 months before when they get the invitation that they completely forgot and have made other plans. I sent my STDs 7 months before bc we got engaged 8 months before the wedding and then sent the invitations on aug 7th for our wedding on oct 12
Post # 4
I’ve never heard of anyone having a wedding website before so we opted not to too because I really doubt anyone would bother checking it, but we have spoken with all of our immediate family/close friends about the iffy situation so they understand how it will work.
I forgot to mention that we chose mid-week because it’s Good Friday after the wedding, so our guests will more than likely be off work and the schools are all closed so it’s very much like having a Friday/Saturday wedding.
Also, we have offered to put on a coach to bring guests who don’t want to/can’t stay over near the venue back to our hometown, and everyone who we asked about it said they wouldn’t mind getting home at 1am. This is sort of why I feel like accomodation is so important, it gives our guests another option.
We didn’t put the info on the STD’s and I’m kicking myself for it now. I feel like the only way to really let our guests know is either to send invites out early, send accomodation packs out on their own, or do some really long and complicated ring-around to everyone and tell them individually, which would be ridiculous.
Post # 5
Mango817: No it’s not harsh, I was worried about people forgetting about it because it’s so far in advance. It was half my choice/half pressure from my mother and my FI’s mother to send out STD’s so far in advance, and I hadn’t considered sending invites out early until I realised we forgot to mention the accomodation situation.
I was leaning towards sending out an accomodation pack before the invitations go out, but I know it’s not exactly how things are done and don’t want to confuse/offend people.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2016 - Our Castle
CarlyPalmer: Accomodation Package sent early!.
Post # 7
If you send invitations before the 3 -4 month marker you will not be getting accurate answers. <br />People will get pregnant and not be able to travel, will lose their jobs and won’t be able to afford it, people will die (sorry it’s morbid, but true). No one knows what their work schedule will be, or if they can commit to a weekday wedding almost 2 years in the future.
No one is going to book a hotel for a wedding in two years now. If you are really worried, can you not book out the rooms you think you will need and have the hotel then charge their cards when they call to book. Of course if this doesn’t work you would end up with many rooms on your charge card.
Having a weekday wedding will probably mean a higher then average decline rate. So if you decide to go the pre-booking route, take this into consideration.
The shuttle to town seems like a better option. Even if some guests will be able to commit this far out, MANY will not, and if the rooms get booked up they will still end up in town, so the shuttle will still be needed.
Post # 8
andielovesj: I definitely wasn’t planning on sending any invites 2 years in advance, I was thinking AT MOST 9 – 12 months but because of the reasons you just said I didn’t think it was ideal.
So do you guys think the best solution is to send accomodation packs out on their own earlier than the invites?
Post # 9
CarlyPalmer: An email with accomodations info would be great! You don’t need to post another package. Send an email and then ask your parents to help remind people to book early!
Post # 10
If I got a save the date for a 2016 wedding right now, I’d think it was a typo. It’s absurdly early to send a save the date 18 months in advance.
You should send your invitations no more than 10 weeks prior to the event.
Post # 11
I agree. I think STDs should arrive 6 – max 9 months in advance and invitations 2 – max 3 months in advance. Think from the perspective of a guest, any guest – your wedding is important, but not as important as it is to you, that’s the unfortunate truth. If I received a STD more than 6-9 months in advance or an invitation more that 2-3 months in advance, I would likey dismiss it (because it’s too early for me to record in my mind) and then forget about it because no timely reminder arrived thereafter.
There is no way that I would book a hotel room until I RSVPed affirmatively. What if the invitation doesn’t come because the couple changes their mind about inviting me? What if the hotel changes ownership or goes out of business? What if my life circumstances change materially, as others have said? What if I we are no longer friends in 2 years?
I think you can send an accomodation pack, but I personally wouldn’t do anything about it until the later of receiving the invitation or max 3-4 months before the wedding.