When should I tell my boss I'm pregnant….and there are complications?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
10495 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@BulldogBride:  What about getting a doctor’s note saying something like you have a condition that requires fairly frequent monitoring, although you are otherwise ok to work?

Post # 4
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I mean… you can tell your boss that you have some health problems going on and may need to be out of the office for appointment more than usual, but save announcing the pregnancy until later.
It’s not decitful, it’s not a white lie – your health is none of their business.

That is the truth – YOU are having health problems.
Would you be so hesitant to tell them if there was no baby involved?

Post # 5
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@BulldogBride:  I’m sorry that you’re having some complications relating to your pregnancy. I’d go ahead and tell your boss about why you may need to miss a little bit of time for some appointments. She might be annoyed, but I doubt she’d take any sort of disciplinary action or fire you over it as she’d have a lawsuit on her hands. 

Post # 6
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

That’s really hard! I wish she was a warm, ooey-gooey “I love babies” type.

Since she’s not, I’d probably just give her a doctor’s note that says you’re being closely monitored for an unspecified condition.

Post # 8
Member
10495 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@BulldogBride:  Hopefully she acts professionally and with some empathy when it comes to dealing with someone who does have a health condition!

Post # 9
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@BulldogBride:  I’d be open and honest and tell her.

Post # 11
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@BulldogBride:  I acutally wrote out a reply to this earlier and it didn’t post. Sorry! My two pieces of wisdom. I have a coworker who reports to someone who is not kid friendly. Through a wide variety of circumstances, she didn’t announce her pregnancy until 20 weeks. Then she found out she was going on bedrest at 21 weeks and had the baby at 25 weeks.

 

Her boss was 100% awesome. She was put on immediate work from home status so she could work from home or work for the next 6 months whenever she needed to. She gave the employee an extra week of her leave (as in the boss gave up a week of leave for my coworker to use), and she called HR right after the baby was born because she was pretty sure my coworker wasn’t on a family plan yet and knew she would be racking up major medical bills with a premie. This is from someone who is not warm and fuzzy at all and does not approve of working from home.

 

What I learned from that is that it is okay to ask for help when you need it and to trust that your boss will be human. If you need accomodations, go to her directly and you may be surpried.

 

The other piece was not to ask until you need them. My coworker kept her pregnancy a secret for quite a while because she wasn’t sure that it would hold. She had lots of miscarriages in the past and knew it was better not to make an ask until she actually needed something. When she did, people jumped into action.

ETA: We all knew starting at 4 weeks. She didn’t drink anymore and had lots of doctors appointments. We didn’t ask because we knew what was up and respected her privacy. I think most employers are like that.

Post # 12
Member
3128 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

When were you planning on telling her if you were having an “easy” pregnancy? I told mine at 12w after we heard the heartbeat but everyone is different. If you were planning to wait a few months I would tell her that you are having some health issues that require monitoring and will update her as more information becomes available but you don’t see it impacting your work in the immediate future other than possible doctor appointments. If you were planning on telling her in a few weeks anyway, I would tell her now and be upfront.

Post # 16
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@BulldogBride:  Hahaha! Adding some mystery in there, I LIKE IT!
Now your new game is to keep your boss guessing the next few months, LOL.

Not sure how it works in your state, but you most certainly cannot discriminate against a pregnant woman in my state. So she really shouldn’t put up a stink about it, even if just to protect her own rear end :/

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