Post # 1
Hi Bees – I just found out I got a promotion (and raise!) at work, and me being 13 weeks along, they didn’t know I was pregnant. So now that I’ve secured the job, when do I fess up? I leave in 2 weeks for a week-long work trip, one that involves me spending 12 hours a day with these folks… Which includes social events (read: drinking and dancing) with people I’ve worked with for the last 5 years.
When should I pull the trigger and tell them?
Post # 3
@Miss Grey: Well, as soon as possible would be nice, since they’ll have to arrange for someone else to cover your desk while on maternity leave, and that means either hiring a temp or asking fellow employees to step in…either way, it’s nice as a manager to have as much time as possible to get everything in line, and I always appreicate being kept in the loop, since I start to get worried about someone if they suddenly have a bunch of doctor appointments…just my worrysome nature I guess.
Post # 4
I told my work when I was 13 weeks, but I hadn’t just been promoted or anything so I was just waiting for my first major ultrasound to come back clear. I would tell them sometime between now and leaving for the work trip. Congrats on the baby and the promotion! Great news all around.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2012 - W Hotel Silicon Valley
@Miss Grey: Congrats on the promotion! I’d definitely tell them soon so they can prepare and if they know before your trip, it’ll help you avoid that awkward “why aren’t you drinking” thing 🙂
Post # 6
What field are you in? Sometimes the rules can be different depending on your profession.
Here is an awesome article on this topic from Corporette, and definitely read the comments – the women who post on that site always have a wide array of opinions. It’s mostly legal professionals.
Going on a trip soon does throw a wrench in things a bit, though – any way to keep your pregnancy on the DL and drink clever “mocktails”, without having to reveal your news?
However, if you’re close to people and want to tell them, by all means, go ahead! I’m sure they will be happy and supportive.
Post # 7
@Miss Grey: I missed your announcement, but I just wanted to say CONGRATS!!!!
Post # 8
Personally, I would wait until I was showing, I would dance, but not drink, and I would just say something like, “Oh I’m taking it easy this time,” or I would get the bartender to put soda and lime into a glass for me. 🙂 I feel like people don’t need to know until they NEED to know, especially at work.
Post # 9
Thanks for all the comments – my family is telling me to wait as long as possible, so as to avoid them “taking it back”… But that’s not only illegal, but very much against the nature of my boss/company. I was leaning toward text week, because my job involves a fair bit of travel, and planning ahead is crucial. I’m also in a position that no one else does what I do, which is great in that they won’t be giving my projects to other people in the coming 6 months, but is a bummer bc I really need to plan how my work will get covered.
@kitakitten: thanks for the link! Reading now – seems like the article itself is on point for someone like an attorney, which can be such a boys club. I def. work at a female dominated office and will read the comments as far as what others have done.
Post # 10
@Miss Grey: Double congrats!
They can’t take it back. They definitely can’t do that. If they do, you can sue, and they know it.
I would just tell them whenever you feel comfortable, regardless of the promotion and raise. Now that you’re at the end of the first trimester, it might be a good time, because you don’t want anyone to guess before you’ve revealed it. I told work really early because I wanted to give them plenty of time to set up coverage for me during my leave.
Post # 11
I told my boss at like 6 weeks, but I felt that I needed to explain why I needed to leave work a few minutes early (I had mutliple appointments over the span of a few weeks). But where I work is very family-oriented (I’m a teacher) and totally used to women having babies…our school is not that large and every year there are usually always two pregnant women.
Post # 12
Update: I told my current boss, my new boss, and my old boss (who is head of the dept) yesterday, and they were all thrilled for me (read: hugs, smiles, congrats). My old boss was the best! When I said, Well, I wanted to tell you earlier, but I thought I should keep it to myself, she said, Oh, you could have told me weeks ago and I still would have wanted to give you the job on the spot!
Not that I necessarily expected anything different, it was just nice to know that they were genuinely happy for me, and not feeling “duped” about giving me the new job!
Post # 13
I’d wait a few weeks, until after the trip. just tell them you’re on a diet or something. I’d wait until I worked the new job a few weeeks.
I’ve worked with a few women that waited until they were showing… that might be something you think about. You also might to let them know that you’re coming back… if you are. I got a promotion because a woman decided after she got her money and things she called on the afternoon before she was to return after having her baby, that she wasn’t going to be back.