- 6 years ago
I’d like some Hive insight, please. How would you handle this situation and would it bother you?
There is a new front desk manager at the gym my SO and I go to. She’s young – early 20s – and he and I are in our early 30s. My SO is very fit and looks like he could be a physical trainer and I know women notice this and appreciate this about him. I know I do! Anyway, earlier this week my SO sends me a text message after he’s done at he gym that says:
“The new girl at the gym says she’ll cut my hair next time we go in there. She said it’s looking a little too much like a Chia Pet and she’ll do it in the bathroom at the gym.” (My SO is growing his hair back in after having a shaved head for a year.)
I text back “Um, odd, but okay.”
About 30 mintues later he writes “She is a stylist, too. Works at Tru Cuts. She said she’ll bring her clippers to the gym tomorrow when we come in and give my hair some style. I’ll give her $10.”
I still thought this was a little odd and something about it rubbed me the wrong way, but her being a stylist made more sense so I more or less let it go. However, we didn’t end up going to the gym that next day due to faimly plans that popped up. I really didn’t give it any more thought until yesterday when we went to the gym. To make it easier to read, I’ll assign aliases.
As we were working out “Jim” (my SO) found someone’s bellybutton ring that had fallen out so he picked it up and brought itto the front desk where “Kristin” (the girl) was working. She immediately launches into a conversation of when he is going to come get his haircut. They chat for a few minutes before he asks me to come over so he can introduce me. I come over and maybe I wasn’t the nicest but I said “Hi, we’ve met before” which was true. She then continues talking to him as if I am not even there. She doesn’t even make eye contact with me. Not once. I try to contribute tothe conversation but she continues to ignore me. After several minutes the office phone rings and she answers it so we return to our workout. And here’s where I started to get more and more pissed. At one point she walks over and says “Hey, Jim, you know when I first saw you I thought you were a trainer. I said to David (Jim’s friend who actually is a trainer there) ‘look that guy’s a trainer’ and David said ‘nah,he’s no trainer. Just looks like one.”
The next comment “Wow Jim you’re so strong! Added 10 more poundsto the weight you’re lifting.”
The third comment while he was on a machine and I was standing right there awaiting my turn: “Jim, you know that machine is broken.”
Jim: “It is? How?”
Kristin: “I broke it.”
Kristin: in a cutesy voice “With my muscles.”
Jim: small laugh
Kristin: with a fake pouty face “What? You don’t believe me? You think that’s funny?”giggle giggle
Then as we are leaving she yells across the gym – literally from the other side of the room “Bye, Jim!”
And she simply ignored me the entire time. Never made eye contact. I may as well have been completely invisible.
Needless to say I was livid. And we got into a huge fight about it when I got home. He even broke up with me last night because he istired of me making him the bad guy when he has done nothing wrong. And I said it was hard for me to believe that she would be THAT rude and disrespectful if she didn’t have some indication that he might be interested. I know that she is not his type at all, I wouldn’t even call her pretty, but I cannot wrap my head around why someone would do that. I’ve never had that happen to me before and I felt humiliated. And yet I didn’t say a damn thing. Our gym is small and other patrons there know we’re a couple, so for her to do this with an audience added insult to injury. Jim didn’t encourage her but he didn’t necessarily discourage her, either. He did say next time he sees her in there he will talk to her.
My question is: 1) would this bother you? and 2) how would you handle it?