When someone makes their friendship to you a priority and when someone makes you

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
8419 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Ap2010:  The only person that is a priority is my husband, my other friendships don’t take that much work (if they did, I probably wouldn’t keep them).

Post # 4
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Option = don’t take plans with you too seriously, as in they cancel at last minute, don’t try to make plans, etc.

Priority = will inconvenience yourself, if need be, just to help them out

Post # 5
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@housebee:  +1…I’m not married, but my live in SO is a priority and so is our dogs.  I do work to make sure that my friends are not neglected; however, I do have some demanding friendships that I had to let go because I just do not have the time or energy to hang out and drink every single night and attend every party.  These things are fun every once in a while but the most important thing for me is my SO and my dogs.  Friendships ARE important and healthy, but family is first and def a priority to me.

Post # 6
Member
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Ap2010:  I used to make my friends more of a priority, but as I get older, family is most important,  and I’ve realized I have to take care of myself too!!  I used to sacrifice a lot of myself for my friends and I just don’t have it in me to do that anymore.  Fortunately, I think other people do the same as they get older and my close friends are the kind that I can go months without seeing or talking too & still know they care.

I have just a few close friends that I would drop almost anything for & I know they feel the same way about me.  I was actually just wondering what it is about them that makes them so special to me.  I have one friend in particular that has always been there for me & I know he feels the same way with me.  It’s almost like family.  He can do some of the most annoying, stupid stuff and it may anger everyone else but he just makes me laugh.  And I have no idea what it is, we just care that much about eachother and I feel really lucky to have that friendship.  But we’re in our 30s with full time jobs & mortgages, etc. and I would never expect him to make me a priority over his boyfriend or his own needs.  I know he would feel the same way with me.

Post # 7
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I have one friend that, as time goes on, she is less and less of a priority to me because she is so much work to talk to.  She forever wants to catch up, yet when we do talk it’s all about her and whatever petty drama she’s currently wrapped up in.  She cries poor, then tells me about her family vacations and spa days.  It’s a bit much…

Post # 8
Member
5483 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@veryberry13:  I could have written this myself! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
2325 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If I make plans with someone then I stick to them, I don’t like people who are wishy washy – oh, I’ll only do something with you if I can’t find anything else better to do. 

Obviously now DH is my priority but sometimes a girly time is called for!

Post # 10
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Ap2010:  I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot lately. I have a friend I met 8 years ago. For the entire friendship I’ve driven to him. At first it was because we had a lot of mutual friends who lived in LA so that’s where we’d all meet. I lived in a not-exciting suburb so there was definitely more to do if I went to them. Well fast forward several years and I now live about 20 minutes away. The friend was actually SUPER excited when I said I was moving because “It’s so much closer and traffic is not bad. We’ll see each other all the time”. Oh, except apparently he STILL meant traffic would not be bad FOR ME. He has not been to visit me once even though I’ve both asked multiple times and extended an open invitation for whenever he’s free. 

So… I think I made him a priority where he made me an option. I would put forth effort (and time and money) to see him but he would only see me if it was easy.

I have started distancing myself from this. I mean, I still love him and all but if we only see each other at parties I’m ok with it. I certainly have no intention of going to see just him. 

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