Post # 1
Last night FI and I went to bed furious at each other over none other than. . . the litter box. Yep you read that write. I cleaned it the night before last, and it was FI’s turn. He absolutely hates cleaning the litter box. He then sits there and trys to negotiate with me, saying “We’ll if you clean one then I’ll clean the other”. Meanwhile, I am becoming furious that he is wasting time trying to bargain with me instead of just getting in done, like i do. I call his behaviour childish, he storms off, and that was the end of that.
Jeeze, what a stupid freaking fight. But I’m still bothered by the fact that it takes so much effort just to get him to act like an adult and take car of some of the chores.
Anyone else had a stupid fight recently? On a side note, any tips for getting my lazy-ass fiance to do the chores without whining?
Post # 3
Maybe take over the litter box and have him do something that you hate? Dishes, trash, etc?
PS: If you’re planning on having kids eventually, he’ll have to get over it because I think pregnant women aren’t supposed to clean out kitty litter boxes.
Post # 4
@JenniMichele: oh yeah, I have definitely warned him about the pregnancy thing, I swear he pouted about that for two days, and I’m not even pregnant yet! He has this extreme aversion to poo I guess. I mean, it’s not a pleasant chore, but I just do it, and get over it. Why can’t he do the same? ugh
Post # 5
I know how you feel with the litter box, but it was a fight I decided just wasn’t worth having. We agreed that he’ll never have to touch the litterbox as long as I never have to vacuum. (Unless I was pregnant, then obviously he would have to suck it up!)
Post # 6
For something like that, I just wouldn’t enter into negotiations. I would just say, it’s your job, and then walk away.
But yes, we get into silly bickering fights a lot. For instance, DH constantly wants to have his parents over just for a “visit”. He wants them to come over this weekend to see our new furniture. I was like, “Well are we going to go out to dinner, or have dinner at our apt?” And he was like, “No, they’ll just come over to see the furniture.” Which makes NO SENSE–so you’re going to have them make the half hour/45 minute drive to see us, just so they can spend 10 minutes in our apt and then you’re going to have them go home?! It makes me so frustrated that he doesn’t get how inconsiderate that is. And then he gets mad at me because he sees it as me not wanting to have his parents over.
Post # 7
bahahaha men turn into children when they a) are sick and b) when they have to clean house.
It’s totally prehistoric, but they are trained to think women do the housework (even if we do REAL work!)
Good luck on this one…I’m still working on this with my unemployed FI who is supposed to help with chores, but he doesn’t 🙂
Post # 8
Last week, FH jokingly said I don’t try to look sexy for him (because I would not take off my pants while cooking..???) and I got really mad because obviously I DO try to look sexy for him, and for some reason, even though I knew it was a joke I got SOOOO MAD and did not let it go. So dumb.
Post # 9
Ugh, I have this fight every other day. I come down the stairs and the litter box STINKS… and I ask him “can’t you smell that? why can’t you take the initiative to clean it??” and he’ll tell me he has a stuffy nose. But he has no trouble smelling dinner cooking or anything like that… um, poo smells a little stronger than whatever I’m making for dinner.
Post # 10
@hilsy85: See, I tried to walk away, but then he accused me of being unreasonable. I was like, “ummm, funny, you didn’t want to do half the work the other night when it was my turn, now all of the sudden it’s important to split things?!”
@MissBoPeep: I am going to propose this to him tonight, maybe he can pick up the responsibilty for something I hate then I can handle the “dreaded litter box”
Post # 11
@7SEVENJ9: funny how they can have selective smelling, isn’t it?
Post # 12
I don’t know if this is a solution because I don’t have a cat…but could you get an automatic litter box that rakes the litter into a the side pail. I agree he’s being ridiculous, but maybe not having to rake the litter himself might make him grow up a bit. My fiance wants a cat (I want a dog, but I’m fine with him getting a kitty too), but I already told him the litter box is his responsibility. I cleaned a friends litter box while they were out of town, and I gagged the entire time (this might also explain why I don’t want kids…bleck!)
Post # 13
Ugh! I’ve been going through the same thing! I’m starting to think it’s something in the stars. Me and my FI have been having stupid arguments as well, (not exactly about cat litter) and it’s just so exhausting. At least women have the excuse ‘it’s that time of the month’ what do men have that make them act out? :p
Post # 14
We totally negotiate with eachother and make deals to trade “cleanings” lol. I refuse to clean doggy poo so I clean the kitty liter. I vacuum but he has to wash the windows…its pretty great.
Post # 15
We had one 2 nights ago. Pretty stupid, we were at the store and i asked him to pick out an ice cream. He hates to make decisions on his own so we ended up with nothing sweet to take home..owell. But it turned into an argument over him NEVER wanting to make any decision, he waits and waits and thinks there is always time to wait and see. So because of this he had to settle on a shirt for the wedding, he was not able to get the one he wanted cause he waited too long. And the cufflinks he ordered will not be here either because he waited too long. And it makes me feel bad because I know he really wanted this stuff but I I turn into the “nag” because I remind him so much. It was a quick argument, ended that same night. I chalk it up to the stress of being so close to the wedding 🙂
PS… Mine wil NOT scoop the litter box at all. But to get him to help with other things I ask, or I always make sure to tell him how much I love and appreciate he helps, and he gave me homemade coupons as a gift so I “turn those in” quite often 🙂 LOVE clean kitchen coupons!
Post # 16
Stupid fight we always have: I don’t think he is verbal/expresses himself enough. If you need something or are mad TELL ME and we can deal with it. Sitting silently brooding accomplishes nothing. Plus it makes me mad. Then I yell “Just talk to me!” And then he gets frustrated which makes him more quiet and i get more frustrated…you see where this is going.
How to get men to help clean without whining: 1)Duct tape their mouths closed. 2) Praise and reward them outrageously when they do. Like they are a small child. Remember how excited little kids get about getting a sticker? Same concept. 3) Don’t complain about how they do it when (if) they do it. If you want it done your way, do it yourself, if you want them to do it, just let them do it. 4)Remind them that you do not negotiate with terrorists, but if you DID negotiate, you might want to consider who has more to lose in a war of attrition.