When the bride must not have alcohol…

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What do you think the couple should do (please read details)?
    have a dry reception : (58 votes)
    43 %
    let the guests by their own drinks : (14 votes)
    10 %
    have drinks on guest tables but not the head table : (30 votes)
    22 %
    have only a served champagne toast : (10 votes)
    7 %
    have an open bar : (22 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2833 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    is she pregnant or on medication? if so, I’d hope she has enough self-control to refrain.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1482 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

    I say have a dry reception. Im guessing the bride finds it very hard to stay away from it as you say she must not be tempted and the fact that its all new. I think guests should just try and understand. I would jazz everything up with some special non alcoholic cocktails and punches which will keep everyone interested and leave it at that

    Post # 5
    Member
    918 posts
    Busy bee

    I think we need a bit more information. If the bride is a recovering alcoholic who has only just given up drinking, then have a dry reception. I’m struggling to think of any other reason why she would be so tempted by alcohol that you couldn’t have it at the head table and she just doesn’t drink it…?

    ETA: I think what I’m asking is – when you say tempted, so you mean that if a bottle of wine is within arm’s reach she will pour herself a glass without really thinking about it (e.g. if she’s newly pregnant, but is still getting used to the lifestyle changes pregnancy brings), or do you mean that if she so much as sees someone else drinking a glass of wine on the other side of the room she will start desperately craving it, and will seek it out, whatever it takes?

    Post # 7
    Member
    6407 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I don’t think the guests should be affected by whether the bride drinks or not. I’d still suggest open bar. I’m sure anyone old enough to get married would be able to restrain herself. It’s not like cigarettes, where there would be “secondhand wine smoke” she’s be forced to inhale or something.

     

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    412 posts
    Helper bee

    @joya_aspera:  Haha, second wine smoke.

    I don’t know, I mean, I’m a smoker, and on the times I have quit I know how very hard it is to see people smoking/smell smoke etc. So, if she’s a newly dry alcoholic, I’d imagine it would be a nightmare. If it’s another reason I’d probably say she should have some self control. Also, What about the groom?? Does he want to drink? If no, then dry/drier. If yes then she needs to take control.

    Post # 11
    Member
    7531 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Some special non-alcohol signature drink “mocktails” would be great.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2355 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    If she’s an alcoholic, then I think it should absolutely be a dry reception. It’s her day; and anyone that cares about her shouldn’t complain about the lack of alcohol.

    Post # 13
    Member
    939 posts
    Busy bee

    why don’t you do a trial run to see how the bride reacts arouns alcohol?

    Post # 14
    Member
    1823 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    it’s hard to say with just the information you’ve given. on the one hand, the health of the bride should come first. but on the other hand, temptation is a part of life and she will have to face it sometime. Now is her wedding the right place to have her first exposure to temptation, probably not. but maybe she should consider whether she is at a point where she can start learning to deal with temptation, not just for the wedding, but as part of adapting to an alcohol free life.

    Post # 15
    Member
    286 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    If it’s in a restaurant, having a dry reception seems a little strange, but if it’s necessary, it’s necessary.

    @Moonbear17:  Agreed on the trial run.

    @Honeyblood:  Also agreed about being a smoker. Even if I see someone in a movie smoke a cigarette, it about drives me up the wall. That would be a miserable feeling to deal with on my wedding. (Luckily I should be able to avoid the smokers at my reception by not going out on the back patio, where the smoking area is.) I don’t know what alcohol addiction is like first hand, but I imagine it’s pretty similar. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    4698 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I would just keep drinks away from the head table – that way, the bride cannot possibly sneak or hide having any, and that accountability will help her resist – but the other guests are not impacted.

    I don’t get why she can’t just not drink? You didn’t say she’s an alcoholic but I can’t imagine any other situation when “temptation” would even be a problem…

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