- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
I am posting as anonymous because my friends have asked that I not pass their news around and I fear someone will recognize my usual screen name. SORRY THIS IS LONG!
This is really just an emotional post, and I’d like to know where everyone stands on this. I am pretty sad about it.
To make a long story short, my FH and I are friends with a couple who were just married in December 2009. Prior to that they had been together since high school (they are mid-20s now), 7 or 8 years I believe. They were typical newlyweds after they got married — super happy and in love. They already own a home together, have a dog, were talking about trying for kids in the next few months…
And then last night my friend tells me that for the last 3 weeks her husband has been living outside their home, and that they are getting a divorce. All i had heard were positive things from them on how their marriage was progressing, so I IMMEDIATELY assumed it was an early April Fool’s joke, and they would reveal that it was all a big prank today. But I played along anyway.
Fast forward to today, I contacted her to ask how she was doing. She said she filed for divorce today. I didn’t believe it, but again I didn’t let her know that. A few minutes later she said “You know what’s really f***ed up?” I asked what. And she told me that one of her friends, whose BF is close friends with the husband, will no longer talk to her because of the separation/divorce.
I knew she was telling the truth. I held out hope, but I checked facebook later on and saw that Old Friend had defriended Married Friend.
I am in complete shock. To be fair, I am not super close to this couple (the man is my FH’s best friend so I know them that way), but they had never seemed like the kind of couple that would ever have to go through this. After being together for so long, and being engaged for TWO years, having a fabulous wedding and honeymoon… to throw everything away and file for divorce after just THREE WEEKS of problems? No counseling or professional advice or anything?
It really scares me. It makes marriage scare me. I honestly feel devastated, because I had so much faith in them as one of “those” couples. It just reminds me that maybe we never really, REALLY “know”, even if we think we do. Maybe it’s because FH and I are of similar ages, and we always hear “People change a lot after their 20s”.
How do you guys handle situations like this? How do you ease the fears they bring?
Don’t get me wrong, I love my FH with every piece of my soul and can honestly say he is my best friend in the entire world. But it still scares to me to think that somehow he or our relationship could change. Up until today I have been nothing but ECSTATIC about planning our wedding, but this new reality has dampened my spirits a bit 🙁