Post # 1
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10.5 months. We’re going to get married, but he has alot going on between now and January, so we’re going to wait to get engaged after the first of the year. However, it is SUPER important to me that our parents meet and get along before any of that happens. In the mean time… cue parents.
Since my parents live 6 hours away from where me, boyfriend, and his parents all live, they are going to meet at the end of October when my parents come to visit. And I am TERRIFIED they are going to hate each other. Boyfriend and I come from very similar backgrounds on paper (upper middle class, stay at home moms, grew up in church, parents never divorced), but our parents’ personalities could not be any different! My family is loud, silly, and interrupts each other and tries to outwit each other. His family… well, they’re pretty formal and quiet and really, really academic (his dad is a lawyer, his mom had a phd without dissertation; my dad make more money but he only has a bachelor degree). They are also opposite ends of the political spectrum. My biggest fear is that my parents are going to think his parents are too serious and stoic, and his parents are going to think MY parents are “hooligans” (as my best friend said).
What were you scared of when you realized your parents had to meet? How did the meeting go? Do you have any horror stories that will make me feel better?
Post # 3
our parents won’t meet til the rehearsal the night before the wedding!
Post # 4
My parents and the Mr.’s parents met a really long time ago I can’t even remember because we have been dating for almost 6 years.
Similar situation though our parents are very similar in upbringing and values but very different political views! But we get together as a group often and everyone is very kind and on best behaviour mode when we are together.! They know how important we are to each other and they would never do anything to embarrass or hurt us and I am sure yours will be the same!
Post # 5
our parents happen to know each other from years ago through temple, but they hadn’t seen each other in years so we decided it was time to get them together once we had been dating awhile. our parents are also similar background, and our mom’s are pretty much the same person so i knew they wouldn’t be a problem, but our dad’s are very different. his dad is very quiet and reserved, while my dad is, well, crazy! he’s not easy to describe in words, but he’s loud, and plain old weird. i love him, but that’s my dad! of course it went fine, our mom’s gossiped about their old friends and dissapeared for a while, and our dad’s found something to talk about.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2009 - Westwind YWCA camp
Mr. BC’s parents and my parents are going to meet for the first time next week – less than a week before our wedding!
Like your, our parents couldn’t be more opposite. His parents are very liberal and outgoing, mine are very conservative and quiet.
The thing is, I’m not worried at all about how they get along! Everyone’s happy that we’re getting married, I’m absolutely certain they’ll put any differences aside.
Maybe you should tell them beforehand that you plan on getting married?
Post # 7
I was really afraid to introduce my family to his. The biggest issue was that his mother’s first language is Spanish, and her English isn’t that great. My mom isn’t the most understanding woman, and I was afraid she wouldn’t even try to communicate with his. They have very different personalities and political/cultural views.
We had my bday party at his house the year we met, and everyone came from both families. To my suprise, they all mingled and chatted and now my family asks about his all the time, and vice versa.
The only one who hasn’t met them is my dad, but he’s so laidback I’m not worried. I think that parents tend to put differences aside for their kids’ sake, and even if they have completely different personalities, both sets of parents sound like they have more than common sense (with their educations), and would probably be fine.
Post # 8
KMSull try not to worry. I think that the first time parents meet they are usually on their best behavior. You can maybe preface the meeting by talking to his parents about yours. Giving them an idea of how they are and what to expect. You could do the same for your parents, too.
My family is Hispanic and my FI’s family is Vietnamese. I was worried that they wouldn’t have too much to talk about. Both sets are quite, so I was also worried that they wouldn’t even talk. As soon as they met, I realized that I had nothing to worry about. Everyone got along just fine.
Post # 9
Our parents met each other last thanksgiving. Well actually, my mom had already met his parents but they hadn’t met my dad yet. My dad is sorta, interesting. He’s gotten kinda deaf so we have to yell to speak to him and growing up he always had a bit of a temper. So now he’s all old and we’re out of the house so he’s gotten all mushy and not the hard edged man I used to know. I hadn’t really ever seen my dad cry, he got choked up and burst into tears when my FI and his parents asked for their blessing and for my hand. Anyhow, i was really nervous because I thought my dad would be rude. he really surprised me, he was super gracious and charming. My dad has turned into a pretty cool dude! He actually lets us hug him now…
Post # 10
I was a bit nervous about how the first meeting would go, even though our families had met years ago when we both did high school and community theater together. I was actually most worried about my brother meeting them. He’s had a rough year and they know a bit about it, but I was worried whether or not he’d show up at the dinner looking presentable enough and him not getting too anxious. But it went okay. I hope things go fantastic when the meeting happens for y’all.
Post # 11
Our meeting went super well! I don’t think I ever updated this, but it was about 3 months ago. But yeah, our parents got along well, his mom talked WAY more than anyone else combined, which is funny cause she’s much quieter than both of my parents.
Post # 12
I thought our sets of parents would HATE each other. My parents are pretty relaxed and liberal and tell lots of stories whereas FH’s parents are quite quiet and take a bit to warm up to someone before telling them stories of their life.
It totally worked. My dad, FH and I drove most of the conversation and everyone went home happy. So glad it worked out like it did! Gave me nightmares leading up to it though.
Yay KM! I’m glad they all got along. Now we’re just waiting for that ring! 🙂
Post # 13
I’m another one whose parents won’t meet FI’s parents til the day before the wedding. Mine are in Australia, FI’s are a 4-hour drive away so even when my mother has visited here they haven’t met.
I won’t lie — I’m nervous. However I’m equally sure they’ll all make an effort to behave themselves!
Post # 14
This advice is really comforting. My parents have briefly met my FI’s dad, but they haven’t met his mom or HER NEW LIVE-IN BOYFRIEND. Eeps…..
I’m not sure how to even go about arranging a meeting that won’t be over-the-top awkward.
Post # 15
Our parents have been friends for 16 years… his mom was my playschool teacher. From there we all became family friends. Then 3+ years ago, we were both in FI sisters wedding and started dating. When we get married in July we’ll have been together for 3 years and 10 months 🙂 So there was no introducing our parents!
Post # 16
Moo, I’m waiting for that ring, too. Even though I could go without the ring. I just want to marry him! I want to be able to live with him… I hate that we can’t, but both sets of parents would flip out, his parishoners would disapprove and oh… big mess.