When things turn bad…

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2169 posts
Buzzing bee

@AlmostMrsShield:  I don’t think it’s terribly uncommon to worry about things like this from time to time, but if you’re worrying about these things a lot I think you might benefit from individual therapy/counseling. I have a friend who has similar anxieties stemming from her parents’ divorce and I know therapy has helped her figure out coping strategies so she’s not worrying about these things as much as she used to.

Post # 4
Member
523 posts
Busy bee

It depends on why we were unhappy.

If it was something that could be fixed I’d fight to fix the relationship and he would as well. If it turned out that we just weren’t right for each other, I’d leave. If everyday I just had a nagging feeling that this relationship wasn’t what I wanted I’d leave.

There are obviously peaks and valleys in all relationships. Sometimes he annoys me so much I can’t even stand to be near him (one time in a hormonal fit I started crying when he tried to kiss me. Oops) However it is always fleeting. If my annoyance with him didn’t cease and therapy didn’t help I would leave. My parents have a miserable marriage, we’ve vowed never to have that.

Post # 5
Member
2630 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@AlmostMrsShield:  I’ve done it before, and we were married. It was the hardest, most painful thing I have ever done and, hopefully, will ever do. I believe everyone has a limit, but s/he might not necessarily know where that is until the situation gets there. Divorce was never an option until our situation became so unhealthy, unhappy, and toxic that I hit my limit.

You never know how strong you can be until you have to be.

Post # 7
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If one of my deal breaker issues came up then I don’t think I would hesitate to leave my DH. Yes it would be hard and heartbreaking, but I have my limits and I don’t think my standards are unfair or outrageous.

My parents are divorced and my mother is a very strong woman. She doesn’t put up with any sh!t and I am very much like her in that regard.

Post # 8
Member
523 posts
Busy bee

@AlmostMrsShield:  Isn’t that funny?! Communication is/was so hard for me too. In the beginning it almost broke up our relationship before we even really began! 

My mother is incredibly passive aggressive and it has been so hard for me to break the mold and actually come out and say “Actually it’s not alright” or “I need x,y,z” instead of holding a secret grudge or making digs at the person.

It sounds like you have a great relationship but I don’t doubt that *if* things went sour (knock on wood that that never happens!) you’d pick yourself up and find a man who treated you right 🙂

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