(Closed) When to?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is my timing right
    Yes : (26 votes)
    60 %
    No : (8 votes)
    19 %
    Here is what you SHOULD do (Comment please!) : (1 votes)
    2 %
    OOOOOOOOOOOH Sparkles! : (8 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    That is fine but you could even push it up. Our wedding was October 6th and our RSVP date was September 15.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    That RSVP seems a wee bit early to me, and I think the risk is that people will RSVP yes and there will be too much time in between and their plans will change. That said, here’s what I did, take it for what it’s worth!

    Our wedding is April 5, and 100% of the guests are from out of town, most about 3 hours. We are mailing January 15 (I considered Jan 22 but was encouraged to go a little earlier, I am out of town the dates in between).

    Our RSVP date is March 1, and hotel blocks expire on March 5. I feel like our RSVP date is a little too early as well, but I wanted a chance to get in touch with non-responders before the hotel blocks expire.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    82 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    im new, and was thrown by the “STD” hahaha gotta get my bee shortforms down!I think you always have the option to ‘overlook’ the rsvp  date if someone rsvp’s late, so I dont know if it really truly matters, unless you are an rsvp nazi 😉

    Post # 8
    Member
    10454 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I think that timing is fine. You will no doubt end up tracking people down regardless, so you might as well have more time to do that. That’s my plan too!

    Post # 9
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee

    If your wedding date on your profile is correct you are mailing out invites too early.

    If your date is May 25th, invites should be sent at the earliest on March 30, with an RSVP date of May 11th.

    Sending out too early, with a too early of an RSVP date is not polite, as guests may not know their schedule too far in advance.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee

    @hiroshymatetrastar:  I get where you are coming from, but since this is an etiquette board, I am giving you the most polite information.  You can send them out whenever you like, but it is not polite to ask people too early, it makes it appear that you think that your event is the bees knees, and that your guests will prioritize your event over whatever else they typically do.

    People who are close to you, already know the date, and will be making plans accordingly. 

    Tracking down the guests really shouldn’t take you more then a day or 2, with a few extra built in.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    847 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    @hiroshymatetrastar:  Um…I’m not sure if this was a typo or you don’t know how to use proper grammar, but this totally made me lol: ‘99% of people got an STD’. You say a save the date, so when you abbreviate it that doesn’t change. You wouldn’t say ‘an save the date’. It sounds like you were talking about Sexualy Transmitted Diseases. 

    Also, I agree with the PPs about it maybe being a little premature. People with busy lives may forget about your wedding if they RSVP months in advance and then forget about it. I have almost done that a few times myself and if I had kids or something I probably would have. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    847 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    @hiroshymatetrastar:  Um…I’m not sure if this was a typo or you don’t know how to use proper grammar, but this totally made me lol: ‘99% of people got an STD’. You say a save the date, so when you abbreviate it that doesn’t change. You wouldn’t say ‘an save the date’. It sounds like you were talking about Sexualy Transmitted Diseases. 

     

    Also, I agree with the PPs about it maybe being a little premature. People with busy lives may forget about your wedding if they RSVP months in advance and then forget about it. I have almost done that a few times myself and if I had kids or something I probably would have. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1306 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would aim for anRSVP date closer to the wedding, but a couple of weeks BEFORE you need to let the caterer know. Allow 1 week past RSVP date for late senders. The second week spend tracking down those who did not reply.

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