Post # 1
I am not pregnant yet so this is just for planning, but we are going to begin TTC for baby #2 in December. With the way my cycle is timed, if we get a BFP the first month, we would find out about it right before going to visit family for the holidays. We live far away from our family and only see them once or twice a year, so this would be our only chance to announce a pregnancy in person, but it makes me nervous to announce when I would only be 4-5 weeks pregnant. When we got pregnant with our daughter, we waited until 14 weeks to tell anyone because DH and I are very private people and if we miscarried, we wouldn’t want to talk about it with others. At 4-5 weeks the risk of miscarriage is about 15%. Normally we would not even consider telling anyone at that stage, but it would be our one chance to announce in person and celebrate with relatives. But I also feel like I might be too nervous to be happy about telling everyone then. What would you do in this situation?
Post # 2
caritas: We are not TTC right now, but I always wanted to wait until we were at least 10-12 weeks before telling our families. We also live far away from family (both sides), and we only get to see them once a year, twice if we are lucky. I wanted to get pregnant before September, so we could tell them for our trip in November, but that won’t be happening.
Now, it’s really up to you guys and how comfortable you feel about telling them at 4-5 weeks. Unless, you’re planning another trip next year, then you can wait. If this is your only chance and telling them in person is what you want, then you could go for it. At least if something happens God forbid, you can have a shoulder to rely on for extra support. Do what feels right for you.
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - Garden
If I were you I might tell my mum and immediate family, but I wouldn’t make a big announcement to everyone else just yet.
Post # 4
What is more important to you: Announcing a pregnancy and celebrating with your family? Or having complete privacy in the event (God forbid) of a miscarriage? I totally understand wanting to share, but since you are private people I would probably wait on it.
Post # 5
I am TCC and was also considering this recently as there was a family wedding, and we live in a differnt country to my family. (The issue wasn’t relevant in the end)
The wedding in question was a DW so I knew my mother etc would pick up on the fact that I didn’t drink over the 3 or four days.
What I decided was that I would say that I was pregnant but that it was v early days so not making a thing out of it yet. I guess I wasn’t planning to celebrate the pregnancy really, more just clear the air becuase I figured they would have been thinking it anyway.
I’m not sure this is much use to you but since it was a similar situation.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t tell. Not before I heard the heartbeat. My family is not able to keep news quiet and I wouldn’t want everyone to know if I lost (specifically, I wouldn’t want to have to hear condolences and that it was God’s plan from random people in MIL’s prayer group)
Post # 7
Is this a visit to immediate family (parents and siblings) or your whole extended family? I would be OK telling my immediate family that soon if that were the only time I’d get to tell them in person, but not the whole extended family. Especially since you said you’d want to mostly deal with it alone if something were to go wrong, that would just be too many people to have to “untell.” But if you think your immediate family would be supportive and be able to give you your space if something went wrong, I’d go ahead and tell them – getting to tell in person just seems like such a special experience (DH and I get to tell our families in person within the next month, so excited!).
Post # 8
When I was 12 weeks, we went to see my husband’s family for the first time and we didn’t tell his brothers even though he really wanted to. My reasoning was, we were there for a wedding not a pregnancy annoucement, and I had previously miscarried before so I didn’t want to take the chance of miscarrying.
Post # 9
The first pregnancy we told everyone before hearing the heartbeat or having an ultrasound and I lost the baby at 8 weeks. It was so hard to tell everyone about the miscarriage. This time we tried to wait as long as possible, I did tell my mom, sister and cousin (like my sister and also pregnant) and he told his sister and best friend. Once we had the first early scan and everything was on track at 7 weeks we started telling more immediate family between then and 10 weeks when I had the second scan and everything still looked great. After that we were more open about telling people and I did a FB post at 11w5d.
Post # 10
caritas: My rule is to tell anyone you would be comfortable confiding in if you had a mc. I’ve had two MCs and both times we decided to tell parents and a couple of friends we were ku. We didn’t regret it when I MCd because I needed the support.
Post # 11
I don’t plan on telling anyone save for maybe my parents before that ~8 week ultrasound. I MCd last month at a little under 6 weeks and I was very glad I hadn’t announced it to anyone at all.
Post # 12
caritas: it depends on what your comfortable with and it also depends if you can trust your family to not tell others. We waited until 12w because we know our parents lol…and theres no way in hell they would have kept it a secret even if we made them swear on their lives. You can always skype to do a face to face? We had to do that with my parents as they live on the other side of the country!
Post # 13
I would announce it, but then again I have every intention of pretty much telling my immediate family right away because if anything went wrong I would want their support. I agree with the pp, only tell someone that early if you would be okay telling them about a Mc.
Post # 14
I would love to tell my parents the moment we know, but DH’s parent’s can’t keep a secret. There are people who they would tell who I would under no circumstances be comfortable explaining an MC to. I think that is really the best advice from PPs. If you MC, how would you feeling telling certain people, and will they keep a secret so you don’t have to explain to 20 more people.
Post # 15
- Wedding: September 2015 - Contemporary Art Center of Peoria
I wouldn’t be able to keep it from my mom, but I wouldn’t tell anyone else.