Post # 1
Good morning, bees! I am having a bit of a dilemma and thought I would ask for some advice. My husband and I recently found out that I am pregnant and are wondering when we should announce this to our extended family and friends? I am about 7-9 weeks along at this point and will have a definite due date tomorrow after my first doctor’s visit. When I was talking to my husband earlier, he mentioned that he’d like to announce the pregnancy to everyone this weekend since we will have an actual due date at that point. Our close family already knows (parents and siblings) but no one else does. My main concern here is that it’s still relatively early in the pregnancy and while I haven’t had any issues, it does still tend to worry me a bit. In addition, next Saturday (the 28th) one of my husband’s cousins is having her baby shower (she’s due in November). I’m concerned about stepping on toes here and don’t really want to steal any of her thunder in the baby department if that makes sense. Do you think we should maybe wait a little longer or would it be okay to announce this weekend? Thanks, bees!
Post # 3
7-9 weeks is kind of a big range. If you were 7 weeks I would say it is too early. If you were 9 weeks I’d say you are close to being ok to announce. I’d wait to find out how far along you are and then decide. I wouldn’t worry about stepping on people’s toes. Just don’t announce AT her shower. That wouldn’t be nice.
Post # 4
@Erika_Meep: My doctor said the miscarriage risk goes down significantly after a normal heart rate is detected via ultrasound between weeks 8-9 (I think down to <5%)… so assuming all is well at that point, I think you’re probably okay to tell people after your appointment. I wouldn’t worry about telling people this weekend with the baby shower next weekend… I would try to avoid announcing the same day as her shower, but otherwise, I think it’s fine.
Post # 5
I’d personally try to wait until the second trimester, but I know the waiting can be hard! I suggest waiting until after the baby shower, at the very least.
Post # 6
We announced when I we found out was pregnant but then again was also about 10 weeks along before we knew that we were expecting. I would either wait until 10 weeks or after your first tri is over..
Post # 7
I really think its a personal choice. I told my parents as soon as I found out! I was just over 4 weeks and while most of my close friends and coworkers know we still have not “announced it” to the world. I planned on doing that at 12 weeks but now i’m 15 weeks and haven’t pulled the trigger…i don’t even know why! maybe i’m just holding out and dreaming of the reactions we will get.
If I were in your shoes I would wait until after the shower. Maybe the following week?
Post # 8
Thanks for the opinions so far, ladies! I personally would like to wait until at least after his cousin’s baby shower but my husband is very excited to tell the extended family. 🙂 Regarldess, I’ll see if I can maybe convince him to wait another few weeks. We’ll see!
I wish I had a better idea of how far along I am at this stage. Unfortunately, my periods have always been somewhat irregular so it’s hard to tell in that regard. Oh well! I’ll know tomorrow (can’t wait)! 🙂
Post # 9
I agree with @travellingfool:. 7w is a little early, but 9w is ok in my books.
I announced at 9/10 weeks to everyone (including coworkers) as my parents just couldn’t wait to tell everyone and I was OK with that. I also think it is a personal choice. I agree with PP that as long as you don’t announce AT the shower you wouldn’t be stepping on anyone’s toes.
Good luck and hopefully you’ll get to hear the heartbeat this week for the first time – that is amazing!!
Post # 10
I wanted to wait until the second trimester and Darling Husband wanted to shout if from the roof tops right away. We told parents immediately, but compromised that we would wait to tell other people until we saw the heartbeat on an ultrasound. That happened at 6w2d, so yeah, still very early. Darling Husband went ahead and told his aunt, uncles, cousins, our neighbors, some friends, and some coworkers. We agreed we’d keep it off Facebook, though, until 12 weeks. I have only told my friend from work who knew about our TTC struggles, and Darling Husband and I told some mutual friends together. Everybody else will have to wait until my next ultrasound at 11w5d.
Post # 11
Congrats on your pregnancy! You must be so excited!
For us, we waited to tell “the rest of the world” until 12 weeks. It just felt better at that point.
I have a friend though who tells everyone as soon as she finds out..so it’s all personal preference 🙂
Post # 12
Your risk of miscarriage is greatly reduced after a heartbeat is detected on ultrasound. I’m guessing you haven’t had one yet since you don’t know your exact due date or exactly how many weeks you are. At the very minimum, I would wait until you’ve gotten the ok from the doctor that everything is ok with the pregnancy so far (i.e., not a blighted ovum or missed miscarriage). Just my personal preference.
Post # 13
Thanks again, bees for all of the wonderful advice! 🙂
@AprilJo2011: It’s so funny how excited my husband is! It sounds very similar to the way you described your husband. 🙂 I think we’ll continue to keep it off of facebook until after the first trimester for sure. I’d just be way more comfortable with that personally.
@cath3114: You’re correct. I haven’t had an ultrasound yet. However, they will definitely be doing one tomorrow and hopefully everything will be okay. We’ll wait until after the doctor’s appointment though just to be absolutely sure everything is going the way it should be.
Post # 14
The way I looked at it was if we lost the baby I would only want to have to make 2 phone calls, one to my mom and one to his. I therefore only wanted to tell people who would find out about this from one of those two people. I just couldn’t imagine finally pulling myself together and going out and seeing people and them asking me how the baby was an having to re-live the loss over again.
Our parents and siblings knew at 8 weeks, extended family at 11weeks (it fell on Easter) and then we started telling everyone else after 13 weeks.
I wouldn’t worry about stealing someone else’s thunder because as a pregnant woman, I am 10x more excited when I hear that a family member or friend is pregnant. I am thrilled for them.
EDIT: Also if you were to get awful news at your 12 week scan, I don’t think you would want everyone to know if you did make the decision to terminate, I can only imagine how hard that decision would be.
Post # 15
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
That’s pretty early and you are still in danger zone. It’s really best (though hard, I know, I just did it) to wait for the end of the 12th or 13th week. Hopefully this won’t happen to you, but it’s been very painful for friends who announced at like week 8 or 9 because they had an u/s and heard a heartbeat and then miscarried a week or two later to deal with the questions for the next few months because they told too early.
Post # 16
@roxy821: Those are all great points. I know I am definitely concerned about finding out about any potential issues with the baby and then having to tell everyone. I’ll probably reiterate that to my husband since it’s something we’ve already discussed. He’s just so darn excited at this point!
As a side note, my husband was telling me I’m being super emotional/a bit “crazy” about the baby shower thing but for some reason, I just want to be sure it won’t upset anyone. And knowing his cousin, she’ll actually be very excited like you mentioned you are when you hear about a fellow pregnant friend or family member (she’s a very sweet person).
@mrsSonthebeach: Wow. That is so sad. I can’t imagine how hard that would be. Thank you for sharing and letting me know about personal experiences in this regard. That’s definitely a big concern of mine as well since I know this stage of the pregnancy can be difficult.