Post # 1
I asked this in my Sept Mamas group too, but I’d like to get some other thoughts as well. Ever since first getting my BFP and adding up the dates in my head, I’ve had my heart set on formally announcing (aka on Facebook) at the 12 week mark exactly, which happens to be on my birthday. Kind of a “best birthday present ever!”, if you will.
My quasi-dilemma is that my second U/S isn’t scheduled until the 13 week mark. I’ve already had two appointments with the midwife and one great U/S at 9 weeks, where we got to see the peanut dancing around and his/her little heart was beating away. I’ve got every symptom in the book and then some, so I can’t help but feel confident about the pregnancy at this point.
Due to office policy on time between appointments, I cannot move the second U/S appointment any sooner. What do you think – announce at 12 weeks or hold off until the second U/S? Our immediate families and close friends already know about the pregnancy.
Post # 3
Admittedly, I know very little about pregnancy, but my gut reaction is to hold off until the 13 week ultrasound. Better safe than sorry, right?
Post # 4
@terpalum10: I think either way would be fine. If you know you’re still pregnant at 12 weeks and have heard the heartbeat, I think it’s safe to announce before the ultrasound.
Post # 5
I think you should wait… This is coming from someone who saw a heartbeat at my 8 week ultrasound followed by a discovered missed miscarriage at my 11 week ultrasound. I don’t mean to scare you and I know this isn’t the case for you at all but anything can happen between weeks 9 and 13. I hate to be a Debbie downer but I would be cautiously optimistic and announce after your next ultrasound. Nothing will change how happy and excited everyone will be for you. Think of it as extending your birthday celebration an extra week. It will make a cute belated birthday present announcement too! Congratulations!
Post # 6
@terpalum10: I would also wait, but I was crazy paranoid. At first I was set on announcing after the NT scan, but then I started thinking about waiting until we got the results from the blood work back. Then I knew I’d want to wait until the anatomy scan, then I’d want to wait until viability, etc.. My DH and mom told me I was crazy, so I ended up announcing after the NT scan. Like I said, I’m paranoid and have some anxiety, so take my advice with a grain of salt 🙂
Post # 7
@terpalum10: Also, if you really want to do the birthday announcement, you could go to one of those private ultrasound places and pay for one. I think you can do that for pretty cheap!
Post # 8
@abbie017: yes better safe than sorry for sure! Despite all my good feelings, I can’t help but want the reassurance from that second U/S.
@mariwithani: you aren’t a debbie downer at all, you’re being realistic and offering up your experience. Thanks for the insight, and I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Thank you for the congrats!
@FloridaGatorBride: I’m worried I’d do that too! After a certain point you want to just rip off the bandaid and get the secret off your chest already. We found out early, so it seems like I’ve been pregnant forever!
@Pollywog: thanks, it’s such a hard decision right now. Hoepfully all goes well and it’s a moot point on when to announce anyway.
Post # 9
@FloridaGatorBride: My crazy self has already looked into it! The only elective place near me (I’m in a rural area) requires that you be at least 16 weeks along. I’m seriously considering buying/renting an at-home Doppler.
Post # 10
@terpalum10: I was in the same position as you when I announced. My birthday was at 11 weeks and I had had two great ultrasounds. The odds of a miscarriage after you’ve heard the heartbeat are less than 5%, and, while every week that goes by your chances of having one are less and less, overall, there is still a 3% chance of loosing a pregnancy after the 1st trimester, so the stats don’t really get THAT much better between 9 and 13 weeks.
I announced it on my birthday and I’m SO glad I did. I got to tell so many people “in person” because they had called or texted to wish me happy birthday. It was such a happy occasion, and I would do the exact same thing again the next time around (if timing is similar).
Post # 11
I hear you!
DH and I found out very early on in the pregnancy, so its been a secret for a long time!!
We are telling our extended family in-person this Saturday, at a family get together– I’ll be 12w6d — but I’ve already had a 2nd U/S this past monday… so my situation is a bit different. If I was in your postion, I’d probably hold of and announce a late birthday present– just so you can be 100% sure (and share the news with an updated, more obvious u/s photo!)
We’re still waiting for our NT scan (this most recent ultrasound, our baby was VERY jumpy and we couldnt get any accurate measurements!) so even though I won’t have any updated U/S photos to share, we’re still telling the news.
Even though the doctor has given me the go-ahead, I’m finding it kind of hard to let out my secret, its awesome once I tell certain people, but getting to that point is tough!! I’ve kept it a secret for so long… and now that I’m able to shout it from the rooftops, I find myself being very picky on how to do it!
Post # 12
I would wait, but I was nervous for my first trimester. We had our NT scan at 12+3 and it went great, but I still only started to let it trickle out. I thought about sharing earlier, but the thought of having to “unshare” really made me cautious.
Post # 13
I waited until 16 weeks but that was just me. I am a freak and I hate that I believe in jinxes. I had a friend “out” me on facebook last week (22 weeks) and I was so scared I was going to lose him….but he is still movin and groovin so I guess it’s all good!
Post # 14
@terpalum10: I would wait because I was a nervous nelly my first trimester. I would TRULY wait because if I had the opportunity to do it all over knowing what I know now, I would want to keep my pregnancy a secret until at lest week 16…just because it has been stressful to deal with since announcing.
Post # 15
@terpalum10: I used to think that the end of the first trimester was the perfect time to announce your pregnancy.
Then recently i hada friend who announced her pregnancy on FB at 19 weeks…the following week she was told at her anatomy scan that the baby had severe problemsand were advised to considera termination.
After that to be honest I have decided that if I ever have children I will wait till the anatomy scan.
Post # 16
I don’t know what to suggest you do, but here’s our rough plans:
Facebook: I already de-activated the ablity for people to post on my wall about a week ago (some odd 5 weeks pregnant). That way people won’t necessarily notice something is up, but it will be harder for other people to spill the beans.
Right now: 2 of my best friends know. I’ll tell ther other 2 best friends when I see them.
Family: After 12 weeks. We won’t see our midwife until around then so we want to wait to hear the HB on the doppler. I also have a family bridal shower to go to the weekend before our 12 week mark so I’m hoping to make it past that, lest any “thunder” charges be leveraged at me.
Facebook: Sometime later. I originally saw myself announcing at 12 weeks, but now that I’m actually pregnant I’m sort of like “why?” By 12 weeks everyone I care about and am actually close to will know. Sure I have some extended family out of state, but why do they need to know that early? I also need to figure out how to remove a few people on my research team from my list/make sure they’re all on acquaintences because i have no plans to tell them I’m preganant at all. (I runa project via sattelite and it will wrap when I’ma bout 5 months so it doesn’t matter). I think we’ll put it off at least a few more weeks after that.