Buff Brides?
more by Miss Sydney
Show me your Cluster Ring with Wedding Band
Bridemaid Dress Help...
more in Bridesmaids
Anyone having Dessy Bridesmaid dresses in your wedding?
Some of my bridal pics...
more in Boards
Grass and heels

When to ask? and too much for another bride to be my bridesmaid?

posted 1 year ago in Bridesmaids
  •  
    1.
    Member
    749 posts
    Busy bee
    Miss Sydney    September 3, 2011   Sydney, Australia

    Ok, i have a two part question.

    I would like to know when to ask my bridesmaids to be my bridesmaids - my FI said i dont have to worry about it for 6 months? We havent set a date yet, but we are looking around August 2011. I want to ask them as soon as we have a date!

    The next question is, im only having 2 and the bridesmaid (not MOH) that i was planning on asking got engaged last night! I am super excited for her! I just dont want her being in our wedding to be a huge burden for her, there really isnt that much that she needs to be there for is there? Engagement Party, rehersal and Hens party? And of course the wedding!

    What to do... I really dont have any other close female friends to pick... and my FI wants to have his best mate and his brother and doesnt want uneven sides???

     
    2.
    Member
    6,095 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Future Mrs. Martin    August 21, 2010   London Ontario Canada

    I would ask her anyway - if she loves you as much as you love her then she will be disappointed if you didn't ask her.

    My MOH is getting married a month before her and I am hers! I wouldn't have it any other way!

     
    3.
    Member
    551 posts
    Busy bee
    floridabeachbride    05-28-11   Melbourne, FL

    I asked my BM/MOH two years out and we haven't confirmed the date. I set what I would like and hoped my vendors/venue could work with that, if not, I could change it...but really liked my date. :D But my MOH is my sis so she has to come no matter what day ;) and the other is my best friend who been helping with the start of the planning..

    I would ask her. Let her decide if she can handle it or not .

    My FSIL didn't ask me because my wedding was six months after her and my FMIL and her decided it would be too much for me..and I am really dissappointed and would have said yes. I do not think I would have any problem with it and feel really left out...

     
    4.
    Member
    1,535 posts
    Bumble bee
    SuperKate    May 28, 2011   Missouri / Playa del Carmen, Mexico

    I would ask your friend anyway. Just let her know that you won't be hurt if she feels like she wouldn't have the time to be in your wedding and plan hers. My friend got married a few weeks ago and myself and another of the bridesmaids are both engaged. We didn't feel like it was too much. 

    As for the time frame, ask whenever you feel ready. I knew I wanted to do a destination wedding so I waited to ask my MOH (the friend who recently got married and my only bridesmaid) after we had the location/resort picked out. I wanted to make sure she felt comfortable making the trip before making her feel obligated to come. 

     
    5.
    Member
    5,192 posts
    Bee Keeper
    2PeasinaPod       Philadelphia

    Definitely ask your friend anyway! My MOH got married 2 weeks before me and my roommate got married 3 weeks after me and we were all in each others' weddings! Talk about crazy! It was so much fun planning together though! We all had such different weddings, but it helped to be able to use the same resources!

    As for your BM question, ask when you're ready! I couldn't wait to ask my girls! I did it almost as soon as I got engaged!

     
    6.
    Member
    1,218 posts
    Bumble bee
    christalynn11    October 22, 2010   Arlington, WA

    I'm in another brides' wedding 7 weeks before mine.  Actually we BOTH are in that wedding - She specifically did not ask me to do a whole lot as a bridesmaid because I was a bride - and now I wish she had!  I wouldn't hesitate to ask her if I were you.  :)

     
    7.
    Member
    3,319 posts
    Sugar bee
    mishelleez    November 5, 2010   DW- Bahamas

    I would ask anyway. I got engaged b4 1 of my friends but she is getting married a month before me and im a BM and have no problems with it

     
    8.
    Hostess
    7,299 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    Gemstone    July 2011   Cincinnati

    I'm a bridesmaid in one of my OWN bridesmaid's weddings three weeks before I get married. I see it as super fun and special, not as a burden!

     
    9.
    Member
    1,644 posts
    Bumble bee
    Mermaid1082    September 4, 2010   St Louis, MO

    I asked mine more than a year out.  It worked for me but I've heard horror stories from other brides.  it's whatever you're comfortable with.

    One of my bridesmaids is getting married 8 weeks before me.  We are actually really excited to be in each other's weddings.  It's a really neat thing to share.  I am sending out my invites when I am home for her wedding, ha!

     
    10.
    Hostess
    3,054 posts
    Sugar bee
    naangel55    June 20, 2009   Long Beach, CA

    I asked my BM about a year out from my wedding.  I would also ask your friend that just got engaged.  Is she getting married super close to your wedding date?  I was married in June but was also a BM and MOH in 3 weddings August-October and had no problems with it.  All 3 girls weddings I was in were also BM in my wedding and they were able to attend all the stuff without a problem.

     
    11.
    Member
    1,992 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Moose1209       Nashville, TN

    I would say you shouldn't ask until you have a date set in stone. If they don't know when the wedding is they don't really know what they are signing up for. As far as her being a bride don't worry about. FOUR of my six bridesmaids had overlapping engagements with mine and we LOVE sharing the experience.

     
    12.
    Member
    749 posts
    Busy bee
    Miss Sydney    September 3, 2011   Sydney, Australia

    Thanks for the advice guys!!

    very helpful!

     
    13.
    Member
    571 posts
    Busy bee
    iceprincess717    August 15, 2011   Texas

    Definitely ask your friend anyway, no matter if they are married, engaged, etc. If they are your friend and you want them standing up with you on your special day, definitely include them, or at least give them the option of being included.

    And I feel that you can ask them anytime after the engagement, or after the date of the wedding is set. Really that is up to you and how much time you have until the wedding. Remember that dresses and alterations should be done months in advance, so it is always a good idea to ask early.

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    MissBoPeep 49
    pengoala 44
    rachgirl82 39
    Sunfire 24
    beargoose 23
    Mrs. Meowerson 22
    Beckster329 22
    couawilou 20
    Future Army Wife 20
    KatNYC2011 18

    Bridesmaids

    User Posts Today
    39bride 5
    creativeplannertobee 4
    julies1949 3
    VegasSukie 3
    MsVoyageur 3
    UpstateCait 2
    liachar 2
    jenjen96 2
    Mrs.KMM 1
    pengoala 1
    More