Post # 1
My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for approximately 4 years now, the last 2 years more seriously, and I have brought up us moving in together several times, and although he says he would love to live with me, I don’t feel like he’s really taken much initiative in moving things along. He has spent every night with me for the past year, so I would love for him to just officially move all his things in, but I do not want to continue my lease at my current apartment. My lease is up in July, and I really feel like we should start looking for places now, as we live in an expensive college town where students will be swarming in to take available/ affordable places. One thing my boyfriend has said is he would prefer us to be engaged before we live together, that way his parents would be more ok with him living with a female. I’ve never met his parents due to him being old fashioned in not introducing random females unless they are “the one”, and I totally get that and respect that decision.
I’m just wondering if he is ever going to take the initiative to bring up moving in together, or should I ask again? I don’t want to nag/beg to meet the parents or the moving in with him issue, but I really would like to get the ball rolling if not for us than at least for myself. I’m wondering if the thought of meeting the parents, engagement, and officially and financially living with someone is too much to think about in the next 4 months. If he doesn’t bring it up when is an appropriate time? Help bees!
Post # 2
I’ll bump you bee… Time to have the timeline talk. Sit him down and let him know what you think and ask what he thinks about when the next steps will happen next. Sometimes boys need a little push.
Post # 3
It’s not nagging when you’re discussing your future that’s on the line. You have a right to bring it up as often as you want. This is your life. Your lease is up in a few months, so he needs to make a decision.
A LOT of what you wrote makes it sound like he’s making excuses not to commit to you. I don’t understand how it took two years into the relationship for it to become “serious”. And now here you are two years after that still wondering when you’re going to meet the parents. It doesn’t sound like a great situation.
Sit him down and have the talk. “My lease is up in July. Here’s what I’d like to do. What do you want to do?” Followed by, “We’ve been together for four years. I’m ready to get engaged and finally meet your parents. What do you want to do?” Get an answer, accept the answer, and then ensure that there’s follow through. And if there’s not, either accept that he won’t be commiting to you, or move on.
Also, it is in no way normal that he won’t let you meet his parents. You’ve been together for nearly half a decade! Something is fishy there.
Post # 4
After 4 years and he hasn’t introduced you to his parent…???
Every couple is different in terms of timelines. Some people move in after 4 months. Others longer. But dang after 4 years he should have an idea of whether you’re the one.
Post # 5
Agree with curiouscat2017, how is it four years have come and gone and he has yet to introduce you to his parents?
Post # 6
Our relationship was very casual. I was in no rush to be serious with him at that point. We were free to see other people if we wanted. It worked for us at the time and has been a natural progression.
Post # 7
I also can’t get over the fact that you’ve been together 4 years and you’ve never met his parents. You’re not exactly a ‘random female’ anymore. I mean it’s definitely going to freak them out now if you get engaged and move in together and they’ve never even met you! They must at least know about you though?? Do they live in another country or something?
I’d say, ‘my lease is coming up and since we’ve been together for 4 years and already spend our nights together, it seems natural to move in together. That’s what I would like to do. Would you like to as well?’
Post # 8
If your relationship was very “casual”
And you’ve not met his parents after being “together” for 4 years
But you claim he’s old fashioned…
Quite contradictory. If he’s old fashioned, would he be in a casual relationship seeing other people freely? and still take that woman seriously? If he’s serious about you why has he not introduced you to his parents after 4 years?
Sounds like you are just a “random woman” in his life.