- 3 years ago
- Wedding: January 2013
Situation brewing and Im at a loss. Back in the spring, my son asked me to give a birthday party for his best friend who lives in our neighborhood. I asked why and he said because the step dad split and mom had no job and couldnt afford to give him a birthday party. So I went and spoke to the mother. She explained that her husband had taken off, wasnt paying child support on their other child and she wasnt able to find a job. She was in need of food. A few army wives and I got together and provided a months worth of food. We helped her pay her electric bill, and we even took her to post to file with IG because he is military and wasnt doing his financial duty, even took her down to sign up for public assistance and down to the unemployment office to sign up for classes to get a job. We gave him a party with presents and all.
Another army wife offered her free day care so that she could get on her feet.
Now fast forward. We are a week away from the movers coming to pack our house to move to a new state.
The little boy eats at our house like 5 times a week. We never begrudge him and since we have extra we dont mind helping out. So last monday I pick him up for school and he is in severe pain. I take my son on to school and drop my girls off. I take him to my house and he says his head hurts really bad. He is on his knees in my kitchen. I ask when was the last time he ate and he said friday night at your house.
I get his some childrens tylenol, feed him some breakfast and put him to bed in my sons room. I go back to his mothers house and ask why she didnt take him to the doctor. She says her car is broke down. I asked why she didnt call me, I would have taken him to the doctor. I ask for his insurance card. She says her soon to be ex is getting out of the army and their insurance has been cancelled.
So I said fine. I will deal with it. I took him to my doctor (got her to sign a medical release) he has bronchitis and acute sinitus and he is malnourished.
She said she didnt have groceries and could I take her to the store and I did because she has another child and I couldnt see someone going hungry.
So I asked her, did you sign up for public assistance and she says no and then tells me that her ex hasnt paid the house payment and its in foreclosure. Im livid but calm on the outside trying to deal with this.
So I volunteer to take her son into my home so that at least I can help. She is going through a custody battle with the ex for the little girl so I cant do much about that. However I can provide for him until she gets on her feet.
He stays with us for a week. We buy him clothes and take him back to the doctor, he is getting better and his dehydration is gone.
So the army wives and I again get together for a plan to help her. She has tons of stuff in the garage. Probably 10,000 worth of remodeling stuff. I call the store and they will take it back and give her the money. We will use it to fix her car, and look for her a place to rent. We even found a place that was hiring and will hire her immediately if she gets her car fixed. Dh will fix her car. Its only an alternator.
So the plan was yesterday for her to get up early, call Lowes to pick up the stuff and go get a check, pick up moving boxes, and order the part for her car. Well I text her at 9 am and she doesnt respond. She finally text me at 3 pm to tell me that she was ready. I explained that it had to be early because lowes had to come for everything and you couldnt wait that late in the day. Then her son tells me that the night before she went to the bar and brought some guy home and thats why she wasnt up, the guy didnt leave til 3 pm.
She has no job, no running car, she is bringing strange men home and she is about to lose her house, worse she left her 12 year old son alone with her 6 year old daughter while she went to the bar.
We are trying to help but you cant help someone who doesnt want it. I called the hotline number and asked them what I should do. They said make a report but I know the little boy wont tell them he isnt eating, she has food cause i took her to the grocery store and he is still eating at my house. He wont say anything bad about his mom.
I was very blunt yesterday afternoon and explained to her that she has to get herself together or she is not going to have a home to go to, and child services will take her children if she doesnt get it together and still today Im waiting on her to wake up so Lowes can come.
What to do?