When to decide on bridesmaids…when to ask and how?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Congrats on your engagement!!! how exciting 😀  

You have a while before your wedding, which is nice to be able to have time to plan.  You could search Wedding Bee for all the horror bridemaids stories from people picking too early.  People change, life happens, and friendships change.  Good Luck! 

Post # 5
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Congratulations on your engagement!  

I asked my girls about a year in advance; I made a card with a dress on it that said “Will you be my bridesmaid?”.  Each card had a personalized, handwritten message.  All of my bridesmaids were out of state, so I mailed the cards and then we had a phone conversation once they had received them.  My sister asked around a year out, too, by sending cookies that said “Will you be my bridesmaid” along with a card.

My advice would be to think long and hard about bridesmaids before you ask.  I’m so glad I have all 8 of the girls I do….HOWEVER, I spent a lot more on flowers for each girl, gifts, etc than I ever anticipated.  Remember, bouquets cost money, gifts cost money, and organizing a lot of people can be overwhelming.  With that being said, I’m really happy I have all 8 of the BMs that I do!

Post # 7
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I told my bridesmaids and maid of honour about two seconds after getting engaged. Mostly because my sister is the maid of honour and my 3 bridesmaids have been my best friends since early elementary school, they are all my best friends and I’m sure there won’t and hasn’t been drama. Our engagement will be 15 months long. 

Post # 8
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

congrats on your engagement! i am having 10 bridesmaids and i gave each of them a bottle of wine i knew they liked and put a bow around it with a tag asking to be my bridesmaid. my MOH got the same thing and also got a cute cupcake with a little token on top. 🙂 

Post # 10
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@sauerdragon:  I don’t think a couple of months from now would be too soon at all!  Once you have a venue and a date nailed down, I’d say go for it.  That rule may not even be necessary for you as the girls are so close and the number is small.  I wanted to know the date and location before I asked girls so they could have enough information to decide as most were traveling from out of state.  

Post # 11
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@sauerdragon:  First and foremost, CONGRATS!!!!

2nd, I wish I had someone tell me this when I first started planning, DO NOT pick your bridesmaids until a year before (and I think thats even too far ahead) before the wedding. 

BMs dresses don’t take that long to be ordered. Give yourself like 7-8 months to be safe. 

 

Post # 12
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I bought these pretties for my MOH and 2 bridesmaids:

https://www.etsy.com/transaction/146244056?ref=fb2_tnx_title

We’re having a beach wedding so it’s appropriate.  They all loved them!

I asked about a year out, however I really don’t think it’s ever “too” early.  Why not do it sooner rather than later?

Post # 14
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Wait as long as possible to ask! I just asked mine this month, and my wedding is in August. I’m glad I did as one person I was sure I would ask has become a crazy nut since we got engaged. Just give it some time, see how things go, and ask when you are 9-12 months out, not before. Things change sometimes.

Post # 15
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@sauerdragon:  I’d ask a year from the wedding.

Post # 16
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@sauerdragon:  there are so many adorable cards (that are inexpensive, too) on etsy. i got 5 for about $10.

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