Post # 1
Is it good to have a bridal shower the day before your wedding?
We are getting married on a sunday over a long, holiday weekend. I was thinking the day before, Saturday, of having a bridal shower (somewhere around 11am, noon ish). About 1/3 of a guests (including my fiance’s family) is coming in from out of town for our wedding. By having it the same weekend as the wedding, they dont have to bear the burden of making an extra trip (time and $$).
Brides and Brides to be who already had their showers – what do you think?
– is the shower tiring? the rehersal dinner isnt until much later that evening and the ceremony is at 6pm the following day
– does the shower really build anticipation and excitement to the wedding, let the bride have ‘her’ event, bask in the glow of getting married? for the bee’s that had their shower the day before, did you still have this?
– if you could go back and redo your shower, would you change the date?
note: we have the luxury of not having to worry about doing any setup for the wedding so minimal last minute details (hopefully lol!)
Post # 3
I wouldn’t have it the day before personally. I’d feel pretty weird basically asking people to give me two gifts in a weekend. Plus a bridal shower can be stressful for those planning it, and I’d want to be relaxing the day before.
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I’ve never heard of having a shower right before the wedding, like a day before. I think it’s too much.
My FSIL is planning a shower for me for March 2nd. So more than two months before the wedding day, I think at least in my experiance that’s more typical.
Also, kind of sounds like you’d be planning your own shower? Typically someone else (MOH, SIL etc) throws you a shower and hosts it. If that’s the case, is that person okay doing this the day before the wedding?
Post # 5
@kasiak: I know friends who had it the weekend before because it was a semi DW (most guests travelling from out of province) and we were invited as we made travel plans so we didn’t feel obligated.
You also shouldn’t plan your own shower…
Post # 6
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@kasiak: OMG that sounds EXHAUSTING! Won’t you have other things to worry about the day before your wedding?
Post # 7
Oh please don’t do that. That will be way too much on you and the guests.
I had an October shower and the wedding is in February and I actually thought that was a great gap of time between the two events. I wouldn’t make it any closer than 3 weeks.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I wouldn’t :/ This seems very gift-grabby to me, especially when a large number of your guests already need to travel to you.
I was in a similar situation, where almost all of both of our families live far away (a plane flight) from us. I just skipped the shower all together.
Post # 9
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
@kasiak: Having shower –> rehersal dinner –> wedding is WAY too much to put on yourself and guests in less than 48 hours.
Showers are typically done a few months before the wedding in my circle.
I would feel weird getting gifts at my shower the day before I would expect people to give me gifts at my wedding. If I were a guest, I would spend less on both gifts in this arrangement than I would if the shower was spaced out with a reasonable amount of time before the wedding.
Post # 10
I don’t see anything wrong with having a shower during the wedding weekend, when everyone is coming from out of town anyway. If they are going to be there, they are coming for you, and the reality is, most people WANT to shower the bride. I had a friend get married in Colorado over the summer but everyone they knew were coming from all over the states. We crammed in the Bachelorette party thurs night, brunch shower on Friday then rehearsal that night, and wedding Sat. Was it a busy weekend? For the bridal party absolutely, but it was fun. And we WANTED to give her a shower and bachelorette, even if it had to be that weekend. We all felt she deserved it. All of her friends, aunts, cousins, mom’s etc were happy to come to the shower. I don’t think anyone thought it was too much or gift grabby at all.
Post # 11
mine was 2 months before. but if your family really can only come into town the weekend of the wedding, that might be what it is.
can you have a friends shower in advance and then just have a small family one right before the wedding?
who is hosting?
Post # 13
@kasiak: We’re having my bridal showers 3 months and 2 months before the wedding. I think it would be too stressfull and just too much to do the day before the wedding…You would be better off moving it up a couple of weeks IMO.
Post # 14
I wouldn’t. It does seem harder on the guests (they have to spend all weekend with you AND get you 2 gifts in one weekend) and I imagine more stressful on you and on whoever is throwing the shower.
I had my shower 2 months before my wedding and I wouldn’t have changed it. I had some out of town family guests and I didn’t want them to have to travel twice so close together so I made sure it was a little farther out from my wedding.
Shower, rehearsal dinner, wedding is too much in one weekend. I found the bridal shower to take a lot of energy, even more for my BMs who threw it! They probably wouldn’t have liked to go straight from that to a rehearsal and rehearsal dinner and then the wedding day itself.
We had a little bit of setting up to do for the wedding (not much) and that day was still EXHAUSTING!
Post # 15
@kasiak: I think they’re too close together if you do it in one weekend. Have you considered having more than one? I have family out of state, my mom’s already planning one there and one here. We might even break it up further and do a friend one here and a family one here.
Post # 16
Just to clarify – my BMs are planning the shower and simply asked what I would prefer since we have so many out of town guests.