Post # 1
I’m not even sure that I want one, but my Maid/Matron of Honor is insisting. When does the bridal shower typically occur? Who is invited? I know it’s “women,” but does that include, say, FIs aunts/cousins? The FIs side is basically all out of towners, so I’m not sure about the logistics of it all. Any help/tips is greatly appreciated!
Post # 3
Before I got engaged I would of told you you should definitely have a shower. Now, with mine fast approaching and with the drama I’ve been dealing with, I say, if you don’t want one, that’s fine! Your Maid/Matron of Honor should understand. The shower tends to be important to your closest family like your Mother, Aunts, Grandmother, whoever. So you may not want to deprieve them of that. That being said, I’m pretty sure its customary to invite the women who are invited to the wedding. Not the random plus ones or your FI’s friends girlfriend you met a couple times. But I think your FI’s cousins/Aunts are probably going to feel slighted if they don’t get an invite. And, I’d say she should throw something together soon, a shower is usually a couple months before the wedding, a month should work just fine too.
Post # 4
Trust me, you will love a bridal shower!! I had mine just this past weekend, two months before the big day!
It includes all the women that are close to you (aunts, cousins, grandmas, moms, siblings, close friends)… My mom also invited some of her close friends. FI’s side should also be included – it can be a good time for the women of both sides to acquaint themselves with one another! FI’s side had his mom, aunt & close cousins, along with some of his mother’s closest friends.
You can always keep it as intimate as you’d like. Mine ended up being about 50 people total. It was so much fun though, plus you get to do the registeries and receive gifts that will be incredibly helpful post-wedding.
Besides, sometimes MOHs and BMs may not be into throwing a party for you – so if your Maid/Matron of Honor is insisting I say go with it! All you need to do is show up, greet people and mingle, and of course receive beautiful gifts!
Post # 5
Yes, you should definitely have one! I am having two. One is here in my hometown and being thrown by my bridesmaids. It’s at my aunt’s house and 6 weeks before the wedding. My BMs invited all my close female relatives and friends, and wives/girlfriends of our groomsmen.
The second is being thrown by Future Mother-In-Law and being held in FI’s hometown. It’s a month before the wedding. I am not sure who is coming! I assume FMIL’s friends and relatives?
Post # 6
Thank you for the helpful, although somewhat conflicting, comments! My family is small, I think there might like 6 women, tops, that I would even want to invite. Plus, my family is not originally from the US so none of us really know the details/significance of this custom. Honestly, they’d probably be more surprised if I had one than if I DIDN’T have one, haha.
FIs family won’t be in town until a few days before the wedding, so it wouldnt work having them there if the shower has to be months/weeks before (I had thought maybe it was the same week as the wedding). I guess I just need to speak with my Maid/Matron of Honor and see what she had in mind. I’ve never even been to one before, so clearly have no idea how it’s done.
I also feel a bit weird having one because it seems like that’s asking people for another gift, which I def don’t want to do, since I don’t even want a traditional wedding registry. Guess we’ll see what happens 🙂 Thanks again!!
Post # 7
well, you invite other people besides your family to the shower – bridesmaids and other close female friends.
i just had my shower this weekend and it was just my family, my mom’s close friends and a handful of my close friends and we had a blast.
i invited my fiance’s mother, female cousins and aunt but they all live out of the country so i knew that they wouldn’t be able to make it.
i think that you should have the shower a few weeks before the wedding and dont worry about them not being able to attend – just make sure that they receive an invitation to the shower.
i think it would be too much to have the shower during the week of the wedding.
Post # 8
Thanks so much for your advice! I doubt my Maid/Matron of Honor or mom would think to invite women from FIs side because none of them live around here, and none would be able to make it. But yea, you’re right, it is polite to invite everybody.
Has anyone had or planning to have men at their shower?
Post # 9
The last bridal shower I attended was the night before the wedding. It was a destination wedding and it was the only time everyone was together – it was very simple and held at the same venue as the rehersal dinner – though the men were told to scram (politely). The bride had a lot of fun and it made the wedding go a lot more smoothly because all of the out-of-towners had stories to share from the night before with each other. I made some great friends there too.
I’m having four bridal showers to encompass all sections of my guest list and they are all within a two week period! One is going to be co-ed and my Fiance is coming. We probably won’t play any games at that one, just eat and open gifts. I think the men will be more comfortable without the games. It will be just like a typical family party. I am just as excited for that one as the other four. It will be a relief to know I won’t be embarrassed in front of my family/friends and future in-laws (haha)
Good luck with your decision!
Post # 10
I’ve been two two showers where men were invited, but the emphasis was much more on brunch/drinking than shower games and gifts. It depends what sort of day you would like to have! I wanted to keep mine strictly ladies. The men are all coming afterwards to eat, but they’re not coming to the actual shower.