When to send international save the dates + online RSVP?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I had a destination wedding, with quite a few international invites.  I sent the save the dates 6 months in advance, but all the international invites new the wedding was happening well before that.  I think 8 months would give them enough time to plan.  My save the dates were online sent by email.

I did ONLY online RSVPs. I think it’s completely acceptable, and I think people appreciate the convenience.  I’ve only been to one wedding in the past few years that was paper RSVP’s, so I think online is becoming more of a norm. I wouldn’t include both ways to RSVP though. That might confuse people. 

I also had the online RSVPs already setup when sending the save the dates, and I mentioned it on the std . This worked well because people were able to decline as soon as they knew they couldn’t afford flights, or make their schedule work.  

I think it’s a good idea to have hotel blocks reserved before the std went out (if you’re doing that). I had a ton of information on the wedding website, which I included on the std.  My in laws, parents and siblings were still bombarded with questions (all of which were on the website).  I’d make sure your parents, FILS and FI are clued in on logistics, hotels, etc so they can help field all the questions they’ll inevietably get.

Post # 3
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

CelloGirl:  Half our guest list (or more) was from Ireland.  We live in Canada and we’re getting married here.  While mail doesn’t take 3 weeks (my FMIL sends the paper every week.  We know exactly how long it takes!)  It isn’t as fast as domestic mail.  

We sent a save the date, formally, 11 months before the wedding.  But we had quietly told all the VIPs the date prior to that, at about 15 months out.  We sent our overseas invites while we were there, so at the end of May (for a Feb wedding.)  Our domestic invites went out in September (I wanted to avoid Christmas and have everything in before the insanity starts.  The RSVP deadline is in a couple of days.)  None of our vendors want to deal with us in December, which is understandable.  But I don’t really want to do wedding stuff in December, either.  So, our deadline is early, but it means I have all of January to round up the stragglers.  

We did an online RSVP.  It was handy, but it had a couple of hiccups.  We didn’t even do reply cards.  I was always taught you had to put the postage on the reply cards.  So wouldn’t that mean that the ones from overseas would have to have stamps from that country on them?  And then if they replied online we’d be out the 3 bucks or whatever it cost, per reply card.  With 200 invites that adds up quickly, and its such a waste, IMO.  

Also, we had a fully functional wedding website before the save the dates went out.  We had all the info out of towners would need – a map and detailed directions to the venue from the airport (including a snow route!), wedding block info and how to book, things to do in Toronto and Ontario, weather info, etc.  The one thing I apparently need to add is dress code.  Everyone has asked what’s typical dress for the wedding.  I thought, originally, that it was a cultural thing.  Then my own (local) family started asking!  On my dad’s side there hasn’t been a wedding in more than 10 years as there’s a big gap in the ages of all my cousins.  I’m on the younger half, 13 years younger than the older half.  So my aunts wanted fashion advice!  (They are so cute.  Seriously.  They started worrying about this in September!) I just want people to wear what they love, but I am going to put up a little note on the website to ease some fears. And explain fascinators.  Because the Canadians think they’re insanely funny and the Irish think they’re required! So, my advice would be to include any cultural things on the website.  

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